You can adopt a Deaf child unless you are thinking of wanting to fix the Deaf child with CI or going into the mainstream schools without ASL. The problem with that is most hearing parents don't really pay any attention to their needs. If they want to go to the Deaf school so that it is easier to understand with ASL than in the mainstream schools where there is only oral-only method.
No, I would not want a child to stay in an orphanage but you may be doing the wrong things to the Deaf child or Hard of Hearing child when you refuse to listen or pay attention to their needs. You are going to make the Deaf child suffer because you want him or her to do the lipreading which is impossible with only 30% of guess work and trying to understand what hearing people said. And also you want the child growing up and become a teenager or adult try to be involve in the hearing world. They get frustrated and kind of angry about not getting the accommodations they need.
Don't force or push the child of what you want the child do your bidding. You don't understand about their deafness. Hearing people think they know all about deafness which they don't. So show respect by listening or paying attention to their needs. For a Deaf or Hard of Hearing, this is their life, not your life to do what you want the child to be just like hearing person. You have to learn to accept them as they are and not change them trying to be like you. I have said many times about that. Most hearing people just ignore us.
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I'm not sure where to begin. I can feel your frustration thru this post and I don't wan to add to it.
I can't speak for all hearing parents who give birth to or adopt deaf children. I can say that my husband and I have done the best we can with what we knew at the time we knew it. Yes, our daughter has a CI, not because we thought she needed to be fixed, but because it's a tool that she can use.
In another thread I asked for advice about making the switch from a public school to a school for the deaf. Why? Because it's what she needs now and what she wants. Have we done everything right along the way? No. Have we listened to her and done our best? Have we made changes when things didn't work? Yes. That's all any parent, hearing or deaf, can do.
Sent from my iPhone using AllDeaf