Adjustment to late onset deafness

KristinaB said:
I will still try to learn ASL, but I am giving up socialization and other things. Am not comfortable out of the house and will just stay put as much as I can. Think I will become more and more like Botti in that regard. I can handle being out with family, but not alone.
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With social networks and the like, you are able to socialise without necessarily going out. You can even order groceries and whatnot online and get it delivered. That's the beauty of the internet. Such as sites like AD. If I didn't have that, I would not have the opportunity to chat to anyone in the Deaf community, those who share similar experiences.

I'm with you KB! :wave:
 
I rely on the internet for my social life. My mom doesn't believe that's good enough for me, so she pushes me to go to social events and groups in the real world. All I get out of those is stress. I can't hear, and most people don't sign, so it's a constant guessing game as to what's going on, and I tire of that game. When people do come to talk to me, all they do is ask me if I can hear this or that. I don't see how that's any more social than talking to a doll that only talks back if you pull a string.

:hmm: I bet we have the technology to create a doll that signs when you pull a string :giggle: :roll:

Well, I've read other people say this, and maybe I've said it too once or twice, but sometimes I feel it isn't I who needs to adjust to my deafness as much as it's the hearing people around me. Learning to sign was the hardest thing I had to do, and that was a lot easier than I thought!
 
SerendipityG3A said:
I rely on the internet for my social life. My mom doesn't believe that's good enough for me, so she pushes me to go to social events and groups in the real world. All I get out of those is stress. I can't hear, and most people don't sign, so it's a constant guessing game as to what's going on, and I tire of that game. When people do come to talk to me, all they do is ask me if I can hear this or that. I don't see how that's any more social than talking to a doll that only talks back if you pull a string.

:hmm: I bet we have the technology to create a doll that signs when you pull a string :giggle: :roll:

Well, I've read other people say this, and maybe I've said it too once or twice, but sometimes I feel it isn't I who needs to adjust to my deafness as much as it's the hearing people around me. Learning to sign was the hardest thing I had to do, and that was a lot easier than I thought!
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I completely understand what you mean by getting nothing but stress out of social events.

So go to deaf/signing events! I'm HoH (not due to loss, but due to Auditory Processing Issues), and I try to avoid most large social events. But deaf/signing events I really enjoy! No struggling to hear/understand what people are saying, my auditory system doesn't get overloaded, it's been wonderful.

Just last night I had a wonderful time at a 2 hour Silent Coffee at a local coffee shop. :) 2 hours at a 'hearing' coffee would not have happened. I would've struggled for half an hour and then given up and gone home.

In my area, most of the deaf/signing events are extremely welcoming & friendly to folks who are learning sign. To find out what's going on in your area, I'd recommend contacting an ASL teacher at your local community college or city recreation department. Those who teach ASL are *usually* on top of what local events their students would be welcome at.
 
I've actually been trying for a few years to find some sort of deaf group around here, and the closest I can find is a HoH group, but none of them sign, and there are only 6 members. Our local community college has JUST started teaching ASL 1 and 2, and the campus is about 45 minutes drive from my house. I live in the sticks way outside the city. I've thought about going to a deaf school, but that would only provide me with a deaf community until I graduate.

=)


rosebee said:
I completely understand what you mean by getting nothing but stress out of social events.

So go to deaf/signing events! I'm HoH (not due to loss, but due to Auditory Processing Issues), and I try to avoid most large social events. But deaf/signing events I really enjoy! No struggling to hear/understand what people are saying, my auditory system doesn't get overloaded, it's been wonderful.

Just last night I had a wonderful time at a 2 hour Silent Coffee at a local coffee shop. :) 2 hours at a 'hearing' coffee would not have happened. I would've struggled for half an hour and then given up and gone home.

In my area, most of the deaf/signing events are extremely welcoming & friendly to folks who are learning sign. To find out what's going on in your area, I'd recommend contacting an ASL teacher at your local community college or city recreation department. Those who teach ASL are *usually* on top of what local events their students would be welcome at.
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Ugh having a rough adjustment week. Bad weather I think making things worse. And a ton of stress of course. Last night my upstairs neighbors had music on till 2 am.... not that I could hear the music.... but they had a bass line I could feel. Made me all tense and edgy and now my back hurts today. I wanted to go pound on their floor till it stopped but thought I would wake my daughter up. Couldn't go knock on the door cause I am a single parent and can't leave her alone. An hour after it stopped she woke up too! Seems like when I could hear the music didn't bother me so much. Course I wasn't "feeling it" either. Then today I noticed my neighbors moved my fall decorations outside without asking. (put some of my mums on their side) I am going NUTS today
 
Some of you may want to try the Hearing Loss Association of America and see if there's a chapter near you. It seems to be populated among the late deafened. That although I'm not late deafened, I've been to some of their events:

Hearing Loss Association of America

I also know of some late deafened that has gotten a CI. Whereas some have said that getting a CI has enabled them to function closer to what they were prior to their hearing loss. So, that could be another option.
 
OK, I officially dislike my neighbors. Well not all of them. I get home from driving my daughter to school an hour away (and sitting there three hours, which is our weekday ritual) to find my stuff outside once again moved and my upstairs neighbor's bass blasting again. And of course because of my daughter I can't go up there to yell at them and leave her alone. And my landlord never called me back about it yesterday or today. Both my ears feel like I have a BAD infection and I want to tell the people upstairs off really bad, which is not my normal attitude. UGH!
 
Hello everybody !

I'm not sure if I count as late Deafend or not, and I prolly already posted here, but driving across the continent TWICE, makes me forget things. Please forgive.

What do you all think of a "Deaf Mentors" thing ? People Going Deaf or Late Deafend could be matched up with People who have more experiance being Deaf.

I know there were alot of things I found mind-boggling and just wasn't sure how to pull off or where to get, and I would have helped me to have someone to ask alot of stupid questions to. I know we can all ask here, So I am wondering if a one-on-one type thing would be redundant or useful.

Would anyone go for that sort of thing oas a mentor, or as a mentee ?
 
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Would anyone go for that sort of thing oas a mentor, or as a mentee?

I sorta had this type of situation going on with a friend who was deaf from a very early age... but it has recently turned out to be not a great fit for me. She and I are on very different paths in life with very different ideas about friendship. We also found that being late deafen-ing was actually completely unlike her experiences growing up deaf. Other than her help with signing, her advice for coping didn't really help a whole lot in my situation. I think, perhaps if it were a mentor who was also late deafened with a similar condition, perhaps it would make more sense to our situation and a better connection?
 
I am the opposite, I am late deafened and would love to "talk" to deaf people and understand more about the world I am entering.

Unfortunately I am in Perth (Aus) and it is not easy finding anyone.
 
SimonJ said:
I am the opposite, I am late deafened and would love to "talk" to deaf people and understand more about the world I am entering.

Unfortunately I am in Perth (Aus) and it is not easy finding anyone.
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I used to always want to live in Perth, WA! That would have made two of us! I can't seem to find any deaf in my area either. At least none who actually live here. I've been looking for several years. Unfortunately, I've recently developed a severe intolerance to heat. I now wish I could move to Fairbanks, AK. I should save up a few thousand dollars first and sign up for the new ASL class at the community college. Maybe I'll learn of more local deaf functions (more than zero, that is). Do you have a school in Perth that teaches sign language? If you attend, maybe you will learn of some local deaf functions too! Of course, that's not from experience. That's from what I hope will eventually become my experience.

I hope the deaf I meet wherever I go are nicer than my previous experience with them. They seemed to think I was an intruder who didn't belong in their community. Well, I hope their happy since that makes me a hermit since I obviously don't belong with the hearing or HoH communities either.

Oh, I normally just say deaf since I'm talking about non-hearing, not a particular cultural group. To me, not all deaf are Deaf, but all Deaf are deaf. If that doesn't work for you guys, I can just refer to us all collectively as hearing-free or something
:hmm:
 
SerendipityG3A said:
I used to always want to live in Perth, WA! That would have made two of us! I can't seem to find any deaf in my area either. At least none who actually live here. I've been looking for several years. Unfortunately, I've recently developed a severe intolerance to heat. I now wish I could move to Fairbanks, AK. I should save up a few thousand dollars first and sign up for the new ASL class at the community college. Maybe I'll learn of more local deaf functions (more than zero, that is). Do you have a school in Perth that teaches sign language? If you attend, maybe you will learn of some local deaf functions too! Of course, that's not from experience. That's from what I hope will eventually become my experience.

I hope the deaf I meet wherever I go are nicer than my previous experience with them. They seemed to think I was an intruder who didn't belong in their community. Well, I hope their happy since that makes me a hermit since I obviously don't belong with the hearing or HoH communities either.

Oh, I normally just say deaf since I'm talking about non-hearing, not a particular cultural group. To me, not all deaf are Deaf, but all Deaf are deaf. If that doesn't work for you guys, I can just refer to us all collectively as hearing-free or something
:hmm:
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Yes I have done a course and there wasn't much more they could suggest. There is a new deaf social group starting up but it's only had a couple of meetings and I intend to make the next one! :)

So you're never in the kitchen huh? Well I love the heat, I do go swimming almost everyday in the summer though, the joy of having a pool downstairs! :)

I agree with you on the deaf community can seem daunting. I am hoping to fit in better this time as I am more deaf than before. I have also not been out much recently, it's too hard when you can't hear and I get so fed up with people doing all the wrong things. I especially hate people who insist on chewing gum when I am trying to lip read.

Sorry, rant over! :)
 
I'm having a little trouble connecting to the other Deafies in my area, but that is likely because I've only been here for a little more than a week, lol.
Still, if I can't connect because people are too far away or something, I will just start my Own Deaf.. Something ! Deaf coffee chat or Deaf Darts and pool, or even "People who are bad at ASL Practice group".
It's scary what can be accomplished with an attitude and too much free time :P
 
I haven't been around lately because I had an ear blow out. A truly weird experience! I'm not sure if the damage is bone or membrane. I haven't been able to do much but I'm feeling better now. I've missed everyone on AD and in the RL HOH/Deaf community. :wave:

It's hard to explain to the hearing world what's going on with me. All of a sudden I was just out of commission. Emotionally, I'm doing ok. It's just frustrating to feel poorly. :(

Meanwhile, I'm working on getting a diagnosis and I'm taking my eldest child to a geneticist at the childrens hospital. No treatment probably but the medical knowledge is valuable. Hope that I can get an answer. :fingersx:

It's time to get back to work on learning ASL. :cool2:
 
sallylou said:
I haven't been around lately because I had an ear blow out. A truly weird experience! I'm not sure if the damage is bone or membrane. I haven't been able to do much but I'm feeling better now. I've missed everyone on AD and in the RL HOH/Deaf community. :wave:

It's hard to explain to the hearing world what's going on with me. All of a sudden I was just out of commission. Emotionally, I'm doing ok. It's just frustrating to feel poorly. :(

Meanwhile, I'm working on getting a diagnosis and I'm taking my eldest child to a geneticist at the childrens hospital. No treatment probably but the medical knowledge is valuable. Hope that I can get an answer. :fingersx:

It's time to get back to work on learning ASL. :cool2:
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Let's hope you get an answer soon. :fingersx:
 
I'm sorry to hear that, sallylou. How does something like this happen? I don't remember ever hearing about something like this happening. I hope you will be alright soon.....
 
Rubiegem8280 said:
Would anyone go for that sort of thing oas a mentor, or as a mentee?

I sorta had this type of situation going on with a friend who was deaf from a very early age... but it has recently turned out to be not a great fit for me. She and I are on very different paths in life with very different ideas about friendship. We also found that being late deafen-ing was actually completely unlike her experiences growing up deaf. Other than her help with signing, her advice for coping didn't really help a whole lot in my situation. I think, perhaps if it were a mentor who was also late deafened with a similar condition, perhaps it would make more sense to our situation and a better connection?
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Exactly! This is why I recommended the Hearing Loss Association of America in an earlier post in this thread. You'd be surprised to the extent you'll meet more late deafened people like yourself in that organization. That although I'm not late deafened, I've been to some of their events. And do know of many late deafened people that are very active with the organization.
 
HHIssues said:
Exactly! This is why I recommended the Hearing Loss Association of America in an earlier post in this thread. You'd be surprised to the extent you'll meet more late deafened people like yourself in that organization. That although I'm not late deafened, I've been to some of their events. And do know of many late deafened people that are very active with the organization.
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HLAA was no help to me at all. I am much happier here at AD. Everyone here at AD has helped me on this journey. I didn't know much about the deaf community until I "stumbled" into AD while doing an internet search for help. I went from being just hoh to total deaf. For me, it was progressive hearing loss, but a different issue turned the hearing off like a light switch.
 
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