I don't know if any of you have seen my previous posts, but don't "kick" me out for being
born with hearing loss versus starting to lose it
later in life.
I wanted to give people an update on myself and I find that there has been a significant amount of change to where I notice a, not insignificant, connection with "late-deafened". That is why I thought this thread would be the perfect one to post in.
When I was about six years old, my parents were told that I had bilateral mixed mild to severe hearing loss, so I was given hearing aids and mainstreamed and that was that. I didn't know what caused it, what areas of my ear were not working, or what my prognosis was. Over time, my hearing declined some (I don't know how much at the time as they never told me), but they made adjustments to my hearing aids and I tried to live my life as normal as I could. Jump forward 22 years to last month. My hearing loss dropped an average of 27 decibels and is now at moderately severe to completely deaf in the higher frequencies. That wouldn't be so bad, but I recently learned there was more. My hearing loss is congenital (not a big surprise, but now I know), progressive, and the problem with my ear is not the outer or middle ear, but the nerve.
Apparently, as my auditory nerve has continued to degenerate, it has been getting more and more sensitive. I've always thought there were a handful of people who had grating voices or things that made annoying sounds, but it's gotten worse over time, specifically in the last six months. Now I cannot stand stand being in my office (a quiet office is around 60 db) or having a conversation (a normal conversation is around 60 to 70 db) while wearing hearing aids. After I complained about some of the noises at work, the group that handles environmental safety recently tested the frequencies in my office and determined that it is in the 50+ db range (within normal range). So here are some of the examples of things that is 50 or more decibels that I cannot stand to hear with my hearing aids: walkmans, radios, TVs, typewriters/keyboards, alarm clocks/timers, garbage disposals, refrigerators, air conditioners, vacuum cleaners, lawn mowers, motorcycles, street traffic, car horns, subways, offices, restaurants, and any form of musical concerts (all things I have checked and know I cannot stand right now).
What that means is, while usually someone in my hearing range would still receive a lot of benefit from hearing aids and be able to function "normally" in the "hearing" world, I cannot use my hearing aids (or the phone without hearing aids) as there are too many everyday sounds I cannot tolerate. Before, I had hearing loss and was able to use hearing aids (with adjustments here and there), and now it is a huge change to not be able to use them at all. Sometimes I feel like it must be all in my head (made up/imaginary) and that I am letting down my "hearing" counterparts by not relying on hearing aids to understand them. My audi told me that it is
hyperacusis and, while there are some treatments like 'pink noise', it only helps a fraction of people and doesn't completely return them to their previous levels of sound sensitivity, and it will get worse as my nerve degenerates.
I had made peace with my hearing loss and was fine with my decision to not use hearing aids (I had planned a slow change to not using them anymore) when it was my choice, but now it feels like it was ripped away from me and I feel unsure if I am ready for this.
PS: Not hearing-related, but I also recently learned that I have scoliosis (xray confirmed), disequilibrium (VNG testing confirmed), and nystagmus (VNG testing confirmed). That makes me feel better now that my suspicions have been confirmed and people cannot just say that I slouch (I tried not to), am clumsy (I always thought it was more than that), or not paying attention (it was not a conscious choice). And now I can do something about them. I guess various issues like these are not to be unexpected being a premie twin.