Adjustment to late onset deafness

[KristinaB]

Thanks, K; learned something there. Glad to hear you don't experience infections.

The mix is 2 capfuls of alcohol, 1 capful of peroxide, and 1 capful of water. Put in ear, let sit for 3-5 minutes, and dry out with kleenix or Q-tip carefully.

 

[CJB]

KristinaB: If you're interested in trying to improve your speech you could try using tactile feedback: touching your throat and putting your hand in front of your mouth. (I know it's not perfect, just putting it out there.)

 

[KristinaB]

Got another question - I started my ASL class last night and the instructor said they should really just call it "sign language" as he plans on only touching the surface of ASL grammar, but he will be teaching us basically PSE.

It seems I was the only deaf/hoh person there. One man is re-learning ASL since he will be having throat cancer surgery and will spend a year with no speaking. All the rest were teachers for the local public school system or head start.

I know PSE uses ASL signs, just in English order, and I know quite a few people on AD use PSE, so I guess I shouldn't be too concerned. I guess what I want to know is, when I go to deaf social, will they have a problem if I use PSE instead of ASL?

 

[sallylou]

I had my 1st class today. My teacher is deaf and she's great. I'm learning ASL. The basic sentence structure is different than spoken English. Maybe you can take what you learn and switch the structure?

 

[KristinaB]

I had my 1st class today. My teacher is deaf and she's great. I'm learning ASL. The basic sentence structure is different than spoken English. Maybe you can take what you learn and switch the structure?

Yeah - the instructor did say that he would work with me on that. He might plan on coming into WPB from his location during the day to work with me more after the class is done and I will have the deaf club and deaf social for more help.

 

[paddelingbear]

Hello its mickey. Sorry this is a long one.

I'm 42, my name is Michelena but I go by Mickey. I have just finished my 5th week in ASL & Chemical Dependency. I am working towards my life dream of working with our older generation. I am a psych minor. I was okay waking up completely deaf on New Years Eve. I still look at my non-hearing as a blessing in many ways. But for now I sit and cry more and more. I leave my classes on campus in tears. 5 weeks ago I was supposed to have a note taker because no one would volunteer to assist me.
From the first day of semester I had gone to disability support asking, begging to get help. Finally last week I lost it. I was going by the syllabus and went to lab as was required only to find no one there. Then I said okay I'll go to class. The room was dark & not a soul. I was upset because this affects my grade. I went up to dss (disability support services) and was polite at first then so mad I wanted to punch a few people. I tried explaining that I have this feeling of being lost. The lady I spoke to is an interpreter. She knows I'm deaf. I gave her a report from my adui but was told that's impossible especially since it was not signed. I said okay I'll bring in letter from my doc. Which I did. The whole time she would turn away and speak. I kept saying "I can't hear you, please turn around." so she did. But she would make it so I could not see her lips. At that point I was angry.
I have no idea how loud I am, but knew I was getting louder and louder so she went to get the her boss and he came in with an attitude. I got a bigger one and told him exactly what I think of him and how ignorant he and the staff are.....I knew at that point I hit a nerve. I told this him that he has no right to interfere in my education.
I talked and talked, or actually yelled loud enough you could hear me buildings away. He had the audacity to inform me that I'm faking a hearing loss. That all I need is an FM unit. Now I have a service animal, my Bubba. He is a Staffordshire. Half pit & half American Bull dog. I kept this guy on the defense (psych does help). When I was talking he told me to shut up. I looked at him and said no, you will shut up...listen and not say another word until I give you permission. This man has never had anyone talk to him this way. At that point he stepped forward and my baby Bubs sat up, locked eyes with him and got up sat next to my feet. He is a good boy.
I made sure to tell him that this college takes Federal Funds and He & his staff has made a deaf person sit in a class with hearing (1 hoh in asl) and I sit lost, scared, confused and I will no longer take being treated as a piece of dirt on their shoes. Now I also explained that I will be hiring a lawyer and I will get The Justice Department involved and watch your fat*** sweat.
I have been trying to deal with all these emotions. But for me I have tried in both classes to be friendly, to be part of the groups (each class). Instead people in both my classes have told me they don't want me to be near them.
That is hurt deeply. I'm a person who would & have given food, clothes, paid for places to stay, given computers, help with resumes, etc. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I have tried to communicate. I've tried to stay strong. But I finally broke. It has been like these people are taking my soul and tearing it & me apart.
I finally broke when sitting in ASL the cliques (everyone but me) signing. Well one thing I learned from deaf family is the swearing. Where they went wrong is spelling my name, pointing and calling me names I don't like to use. They spell Bubba and point at him and finger spell insults about him. I sat and watched them at that point. Call me what you want but don't her my baby in any fashion. He gives his heart too. Does therapy work...He loves to love people. Anyway Thursday I walked into class and told my teacher that I will not participate in group today. I signed as best I could being in tears. I told her I wanted to be left alone. I'm invisible until they have an assignment then when they run out of their buddies they come over to me and act like they will catch cooties.
I treated all of them the way they treat me. I told signed no to each one as well as don't touch me, I want to be left alone. Don't come to me. I was crawling inside myself and wanted to be left alone. Today when I took my perceptive test and I told the instructor I know I was rude yesterday & I'm not sorry. It was time they get what they give. She looked at me in horror . Good thing we were signing because I know myself enough to know I will get loud & don't care who hears what. I told her that they got what they give. I also told her they got that for ten minutes I get that five days a week and I'm tired of these children destroying my sense of self-worth. I told her I refuse to be treated like dirt....I'm intelligent, kind, outgoing, etc... I had tried for a 5 weeks to be friends, or at least talk to these people. But they refuse to acknowledge me, including the HOH (born that way). I smiled within when I watched each face shocked, confused, & they read my body language correctly because I scared them.....She wants me to apologize to the class, I said no. I owe no one an apology including you because you have worked with deaf community for more years then I'm old. That also happened on the day they were learning how to get the attention of a deaf person. I told her I will not let anyone touch me in class because I'm not a lab rat. I normally do not act like that. Well haven't since I was a kid. But as a kid I swung at people. I explained that when I'm sitting with my signing dictionary and I do not look up its best & safest to leave me be.
I told her I could care less if she takes points off for my Class room behavior. I'm tired of all of it. I'm a proud woman. I did get an 83 on my perceptive test this morning. I had 3 hours sleep out of 48 hours trying to grieve. My husband grieves with me. He wears ear plugs so he can understand better. I had been so mad that whole week because the people have been learning about deaf culture and how many times hearing treats deaf individuals.
I'm so sorry I write to much. I'm scared, confused, and lost. I have found that people I had thought were nice really aren't. When they come to talk to me, I tell them I have gone deaf. They turn and walk away. That's very hurtful.
I found a group who welcomes all; hearing & hoh as well. Tomorrow my husband is taking me there. I told him I need to learn from others who have gone through trials with hearing/hoh/deaf. I need to be around people who are true to themselves.
I stop on as often as I can. My two classes on campus expect me to hear videos and everyone else. If it wasn't for my husband I would be totally lost.
I must go. Thank you all for being here. I want to pop in much more often. But with so much homework and non understanding Instructors and DSS accusing me of lying is so painful, I spend more time crying then getting home work done. Please wish me luck. Monday my group (Bubba & I) have a presentation on Huffing. I bought each person in chemical dependency a chalk board & chalk because I am going to force them to respond to me by asking them questions on huffing. I was a proud hearing woman, proud hoh woman, and now a prouder deaf woman who needs guidance.
I'll pop in soon. Mickey & Bubba. Until we meet again online Lots of hugs to everyone and thank you for sitting through this mess of emotions. I signed up for ASL because I wanted to work with elderly deaf. Now I had a crash course in the treatment people put others through.:jaw:

 

[quirkylibra]

I'm 42, my name is Michelena but I go by Mickey. I have just finished my 5th week in ASL & Chemical Dependency. I am working towards my life dream of working with our older generation. I am a psych minor. I was okay waking up completely deaf on New Years Eve. I still look at my non-hearing as a blessing in many ways. But for now I sit and cry more and more. I leave my classes on campus in tears. 5 weeks ago I was supposed to have a note taker because no one would volunteer to assist me.
From the first day of semester I had gone to disability support asking, begging to get help. Finally last week I lost it. I was going by the syllabus and went to lab as was required only to find no one there. Then I said okay I'll go to class. The room was dark & not a soul. I was upset because this affects my grade. I went up to dss (disability support services) and was polite at first then so mad I wanted to punch a few people. I tried explaining that I have this feeling of being lost. The lady I spoke to is an interpreter. She knows I'm deaf. I gave her a report from my adui but was told that's impossible especially since it was not signed. I said okay I'll bring in letter from my doc. Which I did. The whole time she would turn away and speak. I kept saying "I can't hear you, please turn around." so she did. But she would make it so I could not see her lips. At that point I was angry.
I have no idea how loud I am, but knew I was getting louder and louder so she went to get the her boss and he came in with an attitude. I got a bigger one and told him exactly what I think of him and how ignorant he and the staff are.....I knew at that point I hit a nerve. I told this him that he has no right to interfere in my education.
I talked and talked, or actually yelled loud enough you could hear me buildings away. He had the audacity to inform me that I'm faking a hearing loss. That all I need is an FM unit. Now I have a service animal, my Bubba. He is a Staffordshire. Half pit & half American Bull dog. I kept this guy on the defense (psych does help). When I was talking he told me to shut up. I looked at him and said no, you will shut up...listen and not say another word until I give you permission. This man has never had anyone talk to him this way. At that point he stepped forward and my baby Bubs sat up, locked eyes with him and got up sat next to my feet. He is a good boy.
I made sure to tell him that this college takes Federal Funds and He & his staff has made a deaf person sit in a class with hearing (1 hoh in asl) and I sit lost, scared, confused and I will no longer take being treated as a piece of dirt on their shoes. Now I also explained that I will be hiring a lawyer and I will get The Justice Department involved and watch your fat*** sweat.
I have been trying to deal with all these emotions. But for me I have tried in both classes to be friendly, to be part of the groups (each class). Instead people in both my classes have told me they don't want me to be near them.
That is hurt deeply. I'm a person who would & have given food, clothes, paid for places to stay, given computers, help with resumes, etc. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I have tried to communicate. I've tried to stay strong. But I finally broke. It has been like these people are taking my soul and tearing it & me apart.
I finally broke when sitting in ASL the cliques (everyone but me) signing. Well one thing I learned from deaf family is the swearing. Where they went wrong is spelling my name, pointing and calling me names I don't like to use. They spell Bubba and point at him and finger spell insults about him. I sat and watched them at that point. Call me what you want but don't her my baby in any fashion. He gives his heart too. Does therapy work...He loves to love people. Anyway Thursday I walked into class and told my teacher that I will not participate in group today. I signed as best I could being in tears. I told her I wanted to be left alone. I'm invisible until they have an assignment then when they run out of their buddies they come over to me and act like they will catch cooties.
I treated all of them the way they treat me. I told signed no to each one as well as don't touch me, I want to be left alone. Don't come to me. I was crawling inside myself and wanted to be left alone. Today when I took my perceptive test and I told the instructor I know I was rude yesterday & I'm not sorry. It was time they get what they give. She looked at me in horror . Good thing we were signing because I know myself enough to know I will get loud & don't care who hears what. I told her that they got what they give. I also told her they got that for ten minutes I get that five days a week and I'm tired of these children destroying my sense of self-worth. I told her I refuse to be treated like dirt....I'm intelligent, kind, outgoing, etc... I had tried for a 5 weeks to be friends, or at least talk to these people. But they refuse to acknowledge me, including the HOH (born that way). I smiled within when I watched each face shocked, confused, & they read my body language correctly because I scared them.....She wants me to apologize to the class, I said no. I owe no one an apology including you because you have worked with deaf community for more years then I'm old. That also happened on the day they were learning how to get the attention of a deaf person. I told her I will not let anyone touch me in class because I'm not a lab rat. I normally do not act like that. Well haven't since I was a kid. But as a kid I swung at people. I explained that when I'm sitting with my signing dictionary and I do not look up its best & safest to leave me be.
I told her I could care less if she takes points off for my Class room behavior. I'm tired of all of it. I'm a proud woman. I did get an 83 on my perceptive test this morning. I had 3 hours sleep out of 48 hours trying to grieve. My husband grieves with me. He wears ear plugs so he can understand better. I had been so mad that whole week because the people have been learning about deaf culture and how many times hearing treats deaf individuals.
I'm so sorry I write to much. I'm scared, confused, and lost. I have found that people I had thought were nice really aren't. When they come to talk to me, I tell them I have gone deaf. They turn and walk away. That's very hurtful.
I found a group who welcomes all; hearing & hoh as well. Tomorrow my husband is taking me there. I told him I need to learn from others who have gone through trials with hearing/hoh/deaf. I need to be around people who are true to themselves.
I stop on as often as I can. My two classes on campus expect me to hear videos and everyone else. If it wasn't for my husband I would be totally lost.
I must go. Thank you all for being here. I want to pop in much more often. But with so much homework and non understanding Instructors and DSS accusing me of lying is so painful, I spend more time crying then getting home work done. Please wish me luck. Monday my group (Bubba & I) have a presentation on Huffing. I bought each person in chemical dependency a chalk board & chalk because I am going to force them to respond to me by asking them questions on huffing. I was a proud hearing woman, proud hoh woman, and now a prouder deaf woman who needs guidance.
I'll pop in soon. Mickey & Bubba. Until we meet again online Lots of hugs to everyone and thank you for sitting through this mess of emotions. I signed up for ASL because I wanted to work with elderly deaf. Now I had a crash course in the treatment people put others through.:jaw:

Sorry to hear how you have been treated. People tend to treat you like a plague when you are different. The seat next to me in class is usually the last taken...could be because I have CART or maybe because I'm older. It used to bother me, but if people are going to judge you before they know you then ignore them and move on. Getting upset and acting out will only make it worse.

 

[ms_redcat]

Has anyone here worked with groups for late-deafened/HOH people? What were your experiences like?

I've met other late-deafened/HOH people at my sign class and through ASL meetups, but haven't gone to any late-deaf/HOH groups. I've read about ALDA and SHHH online, but haven't gotten in touch with them. Has anyone else done so? Or are there other groups you've worked with?

 

[TXgolfer]

Has anyone here worked with groups for late-deafened/HOH people? What were your experiences like?

I've met other late-deafened/HOH people at my sign class and through ASL meetups, but haven't gone to any late-deaf/HOH groups. I've read about ALDA and SHHH online, but haven't gotten in touch with them. Has anyone else done so? Or are there other groups you've worked with?

I am looking for a group here as well but so far I haven't found one

 

[paddelingbear]

I'm very sorry you lost your hearing after being stable. Waking up deaf is scary since I gave myself a New Years gift of no hearing. I lost mine 2 1/2 months. It's wonderful that you learned sign, and your staff learning too. I've been learning some cold hard truth with the community college I attend. Having a great support group helps big time.
I had worried about being rude as well, I have gotten to where I tell people if I know before hand. That doesn't work wellm but like everyone else I try to make the best of it, that isn't easy either. Thank you for mentioning "ASLD"
Keep the positive attitude.
Michelena Boehmer

 

[sallylou]

I got a new webcam! Who wants to practice?

I go to the deaf center. HOH groups aren't active and don't teach ASL. There tend to be a lot of very old people there, too. I mean older than me. I'm not young. lol

 

[KristinaB]

I got a new webcam! Who wants to practice?

I go to the deaf center. HOH groups aren't active and don't teach ASL. There tend to be a lot of very old people there, too. I mean older than me. I'm not young. lol

I lost you again!!

 

[sallylou]

I know! I'm going to watch a movie now but I'll catch you later. Let's practice! I've learned the very important "wrestling" sign thanks to you!

 

[dogmom]

I go to the d/Deaf center too....my understanding is HLAA used to be SHHH...had a friend in college who identified as hoh/deaf who went to SHHH meetings and sometimes I went with her...Sally is right, I have looked at HLAA in my area now recently and they focus on speech and hearing - ASL/sign languages are not really part of their interests or activities from my perspective. For that reason although I am hoh I have been avoiding them.
We don't have ALDA chapter in my immediate area but from what I saw on their website they are open to "whatever works" and the site does feature people signing.

 

[wildcard]

I don't wear my HA all the time and my family understands. It's not that my HAs are uncomfortable. It's that I need a break from listening. One of the first coping skills that I adopted was allowing myself down time after I've spent a significant amount of time listening. Listening for long periods of time is exhausting. I become very fatigued.

There are two things that I wished hearies would understand. First, it doesn't matter how loud a sound is, if it's in a range that I've lost, I still can't hear it. This should be a no brainer but it eludes people. Second, it doesn't matter how much you magnify the sounds that I can hear, it's still distorted sound that I have to make sense of, which requires great concentration and effort on my part. That's why I get tired and that's why I give myself rest time.

I usually don't have my hearing aids on for the same reason. I don't listen to songs I don't know or watch movies because it's just too hard.

 

[KristinaB]

Had a funny thing happen today while talking with my mother about this weeks meal plan. I kept trying to come jup with a word for a skillet and all I could get out was a "skinless" skillet. I was thinking "stainless" but meant "non-stick". Is that wild or what?

I am really beginning to confuse words when I can visually see the word I want in my mind, but can't remember how to say it. Really perplexing to say the least. It gets harder and harder as time goes on with my journey.

I know as a child I used to confuse some words, like "shuffling the toilet" and "flushing the cards" and my mother used to knit with "needing knittels".

 

[sallylou]

Wildcard, that's why I'm on the internet a lot. Read the news, catch up with people on FB, chat here. . . Good to see you on this thread!

It does get harder! My sign vocabulary is too small to be very descriptive. I'm not proficient with classifiers yet (which I think will help!). I keep plodding along... I guess that it'll understand more with more classes.

 

[paddelingbear]

Hello: My name is Michelena Boehmer:

You can fit in with me. I coul use a friend or more. Remember you fit in everywhere you want to be. Don't try to be anyone but yourself and you'll do great. I'm newly deaf. At first felt trapped between two worlds, hearing and deaf. I too am taking ASL. I had to switch from campus to online. People can be rude and hurtful. I'm learning to toughen my skin. I started just walking away. If someone dosn't want communicate then it's thier problem.

Try to relax and be you. It's not easy but you will find the people here are a wonderful support group. I can't thank them enough for the wisdom and guidance they have given me freely.

 

[sallylou]

Michelena, I'll PM you later so we can connect.

My complaint today: hearing people who don't understand why I'm taking ASL. I have *progressive* SNL. My hearing is slipping away. Now is the time to learn and make adjustments. I can only control how I respond to what is happening. That's why I am learning ASL. My deaf family members never learned ASL. I watched them become increasingly isolated. I'm not going to let that happen to me. I don't know how to make hearing people understand. I don't want any pity. I only want understanding and support.

 

[dogmom]

sally, I get the same response-