No, I'm not wrong about jillo.
Lets you and me be buddies tonight and go to a bar and throw back a few. There will be plenty of hot women there, for sure. After awhile I'll say to you: "Go ahead and get you a piece. You'll probably have to pay the girl but make sure you use a condom."
Yes, I AM encouraging you to commit an illegal act.....and hurry up and do it soon.
I'm man enough to stand up and say it....I'm encouraging you to commit an illegal act in this situation.
The fact that you have a lack of reading comprehension doesn't make you right.
As for your suggestion:
1) I can think of plenty other people (even from here!) who I'd much rather go to a bar with than you, so I think I'll pass.
2) Pretending like I got into a situation that far, somehow, I'd ignore you, or possibly punch you in the face for implying that I should (or even would) cheat on my girlfriend. Who, realistically, would probably be in the same bar. Actually, more realistically,
she would be the one to punch you. But it's all the same to me.
3) Pretending that I wasn't in fact involved in a long term committed relationship, and also pretending that I was, in fact, so distinctly hideous that the absolutely only method of my getting laid was by picking up a prostitute,
and that wherever we were at, prostitution was illegal, your fake situation would
still not be even close to equivalent to what happened here. The situation you created specifically and clearly intended to imply a feeling of immediacy (ie "I actually mean within minutes, when I say soon" as opposed to "I mean within the next week, when I say soon" that my boss would imply when referring to a project that I've just started at work, or "I mean within a month or two, when I say soon" when my girlfriend talks about moving). Anyone with any amount of reading comprehension (including the ability to read a clarification on the part of the original poster, when there's ambiguity) is able to understand that a remark of that sort, made on the internet, implies no immediacy. Your desire to interpret it that way either demonstrates that you're a liar, or your complete lack of reading comprehension. Or, as the case may be, both.