This is one of Paul Kiel's articles from his upcoming book, "TO BE DEAF OR
NOT TO BE DEAF" a true story of Deaf man raised in hearing dominated society and his trails and tribulations of being oralist until he chose ASL. Some excerptions from the book -
American Sign Language and the controversies since dawn of mankind...
I often wonder why people make big deal out of sign language. I believe it is a norm that we can live with. Those people (audists and ignorant people) often raise hell and use negative tactics to hurt us. What is their point? Is it power control? Is it financial interest? It is hard to prove it at this point.
However, historically speaking, audism is the key that hearing people retain the power over the deaf communities globally. We are NOT alone in America.
It is rampant everywhere. Why do they do it? Is it ignorance? Is it selfish? Is it manipulation? Is it sickness? Is it ego trip?
Ever since I remembered opening my eyes at birth, I see the world through my eyes. My eyes transmits visual cues to my brain. I see people around me. No names? Nothing? My eyes close when it is dark or being coaxed to sleep. When I felt touches to my body, I wake up. I felt vibrations and stuff. I do not even remember if I ever heard a sound. All those years of trails and tribulations, I have struggled to find my own identity. From the time I opened my eyes to understanding what people were trying to tell me. I can remember the funny faces people use. I laughed at them. Even when they were mad, I laughed at them. I did not know the meaning of what was society's rules. Behave? Stop it? Don't touch this or that? A learning process of do's and don'ts? The list would go on and on.
My family used gestures to tell me what things were. It is about same path what Helen Keller with Anne Sullivan went through. My grandmother had a Deaf girlfriend who was a neighbor in 1920's. She used it to communicate with me.
She felt bad as she could not remember her name. Feeling elated and excited that my grandmother was able to grasp my attention and see hand movements to indicate which object has a meaning. It is like feeding into my head and she wrote a lot of notes. Even tho I went
to oral school. I have dealt with a lot of abuses. I was different and I
knew that. I had a deaf brother that oral school rejected. He was unable to follow. He was stubborn and screamed his head off at times. I suspected that he might have ADD. I was even "punished" when I did not want to open my mouth and follow what teachers were scolding, yelling at me, make faces, spread "shame" and "blame" on me to other students. It developed into some kind of plantation mentality.
I was "conditioned" to believe in the oral system. I had to lie my way
around to appease them. In my heart, I hated the oral system. It was because of some teachers abused me. When I refused to follow, one teacher dragged me down the hall to an "isolation" room. She screamed in my face. She scolded me for not following "lessons". I tried to tell my mother about her and she comforted me and she did not know what to do. She wanted best education for me. "Abuse" was either unheard of or afraid to speak in 1950's. She got the information from my doctor about John Tracy Clinic. She was following what they suggested about having oral system.
When I saw other Deaf using sign language in a cafeteria by bus stop in a small rural town where a state school for Deaf was located, my mother told me that it was not polite to stare at them. I did not know what to do but stare down at my dinner plate. I had tears rolling down my cheeks and my mother was apologetic. She did not know if it was ok to watch those people using sign language.
But the family was bit heavy on oralism. They preferred that I go through
the program. I was unhappy child and I was sick often times that I wanted to stay home rather than go to school. It was emotional roller coaster having to follow the school rules. The principal ran the school with iron hand.
I was a stubborn child and I often have to go to supervisor's office or
principal's office. I get scolded for not using my voice or using my hands
too much. I got into trouble again and again to the point that the
supervisor lost her temper and patience. She made me come into her office. She took out a wooden ruler and made me open my hands.
I grimaced and refused to cooperate. She got angrier and while she was
talking, she had a lot of saliva spitting out of her mouth. I got upset and
opened my hands. She raised the wooden ruler above her head and came down hard on my left hand. Then she raised the ruler again and came down hard on my right hand. She repeated the process 9 more times. (total of 10 - five times each hand). I felt a lot of pain and I felt sick to my stomach. She made me sit in the corner of her office for about one week. I was pretty stubborn about not following the rules and I was adamandant about using my gestures. I decided to lay low on that issue and do other things to "please" them. They did not understand deaf culture and its behavior.
I am Deaf since birth. They do not know the cause of deafness. I had to put up with hearing people manipulating deaf issues in life. I had trails and tribulations, but today. I am still using ASL and will continue to so. My pet peeve in St. Louis is plantation mentality and that audism is rampant in this town.
And lastly back in 1968, I was invited to a teacher's apartment for
bar-b-que. I already left the school for public mainstream about a year
ago. I was glad to see other friends. I was gesturing more because of the freedom from oral school controls and I was in public high school. That sense of freedom made me forget some bad memories of that school.
However, at that bar-b-que, I was gesturing more and of course I joked
more and was into mischief. The principal was there and she understood as it was out of her "control" She even used "reverse psychology" to try to keep me on track, but she "flunked"! The speech teacher who spent years getting me to talk and talk using my voice got upset with me. She caught me signing to my close friend in the car. She came running to the car window and screamed at me. She was red faced and called me names that I could not even remember. Her face expressions was so negative that it still haunts me to this day.
This is why I do NOT understand those people about objection of my choice and freedom to use ASL!!!! I would tell them to jump in the river or drop dead.
At that principal's funeral, I paid my last respects to her. I walked up
to her casket and used sign language. "YOU FUCKING BITCH! THANKS FOR RUINING MY LIFE! I CHERISH THIS FREEDOM FROM YOUR SICKNESS! I HOPE GOD PUNISHES YOU FOR YOUR OPPRESSION!" I said it so fast that no one understood. I felt good that no one knew what I said. It was between her and me. The old teachers and friends of that principal gave me dirty looks just because I was gesturing.
The other Deaf adults in the room tried to tell me to put down my hands. I told them. "What the heck? That woman is dead and she cannot jump out of that coffin to scold us for using our sign language. Oh boy! I need fresh air!" I then walked out of the funeral home and never looked back again! The sun was shining and I was feeling the warmth of freedom.
So from the time I remembered to my final breath, I will always ask, WHY? WHY? do they want to forbid the use of ASL? I will have lifetime to
analyze this and find answers to that puzzle. It is silly! It might be
manipulation or power grab thing!!
That's it! Sorry for pulling your eyes (ears) to my story of oral abuses!
Paul Kiel
___________________________________________________________________
NOT TO BE DEAF" a true story of Deaf man raised in hearing dominated society and his trails and tribulations of being oralist until he chose ASL. Some excerptions from the book -
American Sign Language and the controversies since dawn of mankind...
I often wonder why people make big deal out of sign language. I believe it is a norm that we can live with. Those people (audists and ignorant people) often raise hell and use negative tactics to hurt us. What is their point? Is it power control? Is it financial interest? It is hard to prove it at this point.
However, historically speaking, audism is the key that hearing people retain the power over the deaf communities globally. We are NOT alone in America.
It is rampant everywhere. Why do they do it? Is it ignorance? Is it selfish? Is it manipulation? Is it sickness? Is it ego trip?
Ever since I remembered opening my eyes at birth, I see the world through my eyes. My eyes transmits visual cues to my brain. I see people around me. No names? Nothing? My eyes close when it is dark or being coaxed to sleep. When I felt touches to my body, I wake up. I felt vibrations and stuff. I do not even remember if I ever heard a sound. All those years of trails and tribulations, I have struggled to find my own identity. From the time I opened my eyes to understanding what people were trying to tell me. I can remember the funny faces people use. I laughed at them. Even when they were mad, I laughed at them. I did not know the meaning of what was society's rules. Behave? Stop it? Don't touch this or that? A learning process of do's and don'ts? The list would go on and on.
My family used gestures to tell me what things were. It is about same path what Helen Keller with Anne Sullivan went through. My grandmother had a Deaf girlfriend who was a neighbor in 1920's. She used it to communicate with me.
She felt bad as she could not remember her name. Feeling elated and excited that my grandmother was able to grasp my attention and see hand movements to indicate which object has a meaning. It is like feeding into my head and she wrote a lot of notes. Even tho I went
to oral school. I have dealt with a lot of abuses. I was different and I
knew that. I had a deaf brother that oral school rejected. He was unable to follow. He was stubborn and screamed his head off at times. I suspected that he might have ADD. I was even "punished" when I did not want to open my mouth and follow what teachers were scolding, yelling at me, make faces, spread "shame" and "blame" on me to other students. It developed into some kind of plantation mentality.
I was "conditioned" to believe in the oral system. I had to lie my way
around to appease them. In my heart, I hated the oral system. It was because of some teachers abused me. When I refused to follow, one teacher dragged me down the hall to an "isolation" room. She screamed in my face. She scolded me for not following "lessons". I tried to tell my mother about her and she comforted me and she did not know what to do. She wanted best education for me. "Abuse" was either unheard of or afraid to speak in 1950's. She got the information from my doctor about John Tracy Clinic. She was following what they suggested about having oral system.
When I saw other Deaf using sign language in a cafeteria by bus stop in a small rural town where a state school for Deaf was located, my mother told me that it was not polite to stare at them. I did not know what to do but stare down at my dinner plate. I had tears rolling down my cheeks and my mother was apologetic. She did not know if it was ok to watch those people using sign language.
But the family was bit heavy on oralism. They preferred that I go through
the program. I was unhappy child and I was sick often times that I wanted to stay home rather than go to school. It was emotional roller coaster having to follow the school rules. The principal ran the school with iron hand.
I was a stubborn child and I often have to go to supervisor's office or
principal's office. I get scolded for not using my voice or using my hands
too much. I got into trouble again and again to the point that the
supervisor lost her temper and patience. She made me come into her office. She took out a wooden ruler and made me open my hands.
I grimaced and refused to cooperate. She got angrier and while she was
talking, she had a lot of saliva spitting out of her mouth. I got upset and
opened my hands. She raised the wooden ruler above her head and came down hard on my left hand. Then she raised the ruler again and came down hard on my right hand. She repeated the process 9 more times. (total of 10 - five times each hand). I felt a lot of pain and I felt sick to my stomach. She made me sit in the corner of her office for about one week. I was pretty stubborn about not following the rules and I was adamandant about using my gestures. I decided to lay low on that issue and do other things to "please" them. They did not understand deaf culture and its behavior.
I am Deaf since birth. They do not know the cause of deafness. I had to put up with hearing people manipulating deaf issues in life. I had trails and tribulations, but today. I am still using ASL and will continue to so. My pet peeve in St. Louis is plantation mentality and that audism is rampant in this town.
And lastly back in 1968, I was invited to a teacher's apartment for
bar-b-que. I already left the school for public mainstream about a year
ago. I was glad to see other friends. I was gesturing more because of the freedom from oral school controls and I was in public high school. That sense of freedom made me forget some bad memories of that school.
However, at that bar-b-que, I was gesturing more and of course I joked
more and was into mischief. The principal was there and she understood as it was out of her "control" She even used "reverse psychology" to try to keep me on track, but she "flunked"! The speech teacher who spent years getting me to talk and talk using my voice got upset with me. She caught me signing to my close friend in the car. She came running to the car window and screamed at me. She was red faced and called me names that I could not even remember. Her face expressions was so negative that it still haunts me to this day.
This is why I do NOT understand those people about objection of my choice and freedom to use ASL!!!! I would tell them to jump in the river or drop dead.
At that principal's funeral, I paid my last respects to her. I walked up
to her casket and used sign language. "YOU FUCKING BITCH! THANKS FOR RUINING MY LIFE! I CHERISH THIS FREEDOM FROM YOUR SICKNESS! I HOPE GOD PUNISHES YOU FOR YOUR OPPRESSION!" I said it so fast that no one understood. I felt good that no one knew what I said. It was between her and me. The old teachers and friends of that principal gave me dirty looks just because I was gesturing.
The other Deaf adults in the room tried to tell me to put down my hands. I told them. "What the heck? That woman is dead and she cannot jump out of that coffin to scold us for using our sign language. Oh boy! I need fresh air!" I then walked out of the funeral home and never looked back again! The sun was shining and I was feeling the warmth of freedom.
So from the time I remembered to my final breath, I will always ask, WHY? WHY? do they want to forbid the use of ASL? I will have lifetime to
analyze this and find answers to that puzzle. It is silly! It might be
manipulation or power grab thing!!
That's it! Sorry for pulling your eyes (ears) to my story of oral abuses!
Paul Kiel
___________________________________________________________________
Wow...I would LOVE to read that book! Where did you find that? I will go to Amazon.com and check it out and see how much I can get it. :P Thanks Sabrina! 
:rl: .
Domestic Violence survivors and :madfawk: at Abusers.
*clutches my bleeding heart!* Oh Oddball girly.. remember not all oralists are E-V-I-L . Look at me, I'm a Deaf oralist that just happens to sign in ASL and talks and I'm just as mischevious as you are! *winksa*
