A Deaf's View Regarding CI

Hohtopics said:
I noticed that some that are being kind of loud on that it's so good to be Deaf and all that are actually married to their hearing husbands. Just saying.

Sure, they're entitled to be married to whomever they wish, of course. But it's like "they want to have their cake and eat it too".
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What is your point here? I know people who are very proud of their African American identity that are happily married to Caucasions, too. :cool2:
 
DeafCaroline said:
For sure - the internet is the last place to seek accurate data about CIs themselves. Even personal stories about CIs is not that balanced for many would say people encouraged them to write their success stories so you would have to wonder how honest they are being when they know their families and friends will read it.
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That is it, exactly. The ones that have found less than phenomenal success generally don't blog about it.
 
Hohtopics said:
Of course not, as to that I've also always been close to my hearing family members, relatives and all that.

But it does seem a little bit of a double standard that if some of them are supposedly so proud of their Deaf identity, then shouldn't they be secured enough to also marry one?

Some of them probably won't admit that privately, they probably like the secured feeling of having an hearing person to fall back on. Yet, they put on this "brave front" that they're supposedly so proud to be Deaf and all that.
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Your perspective is distorted. The Deaf who marry hearing are very much more secure in themselves than you give them credit for. They are secure enough in themselves to be able to embrace a difference in partner. It takes a stong self image and a feeling of considerable confidence in one's own worth to engage in a relationship with someone of a different hearing status, or from a different culture. Only the ones that lack self confidence seek out a constant diet of sameness for validation.
 
jillio said:
And I, my son. And he believes that he has, indeed, been fortunate, as his deafness is a part of who he is and what his world vision has become. He is very much aware that he has had experiences in this life that others have never had the priviledege to have, and that those experiences have made him, in great part, who he is.
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I am fortune to be the person I am and this only 1 one example how many people(whos parents don't ride) get to learn to ride horses at 2 years old.

posts from hell said:
see this post:

http://www.alldeaf.com/1840421-post3469.html

The only reason I put up with that person for so long was because that person is my mother.
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I no the feeling well

Hohtopics said:
But it does seem a little bit of a double standard that if some of them are supposedly so proud of their Deaf identity, then shouldn't they be secured enough to also marry one?
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life long partners are so damn hard find whether they be Deaf or hearing
 
auditory input and learning become dramatically less effective and beneficial at 10, 11 or 12 years old than when done at several months old to 3 years old or so.
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On the other hand, did they differentate between deep profound kids vs. kids who got some speech perception with HAs? Many profound kids can still get speech perception with HAs, which is why Clarke/CID/St. Joseph's and the other oral schools existed LONG before CIs.
Kind of funny......in the old days (meaning the '80's/'90's) with hearing aids, oral schools were booming......Now they're barely surviving except in preschool/kindergarten. Which is really sad. Oral Schools may not use ASL, but at least they are deaf schools.
 
The ceiling on early gains is still there, and the decline following is still being shown
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Then how come Clarke isn't seeing a huge influx of oral kids in middle school? I know back in the old days, a LOT of oral deaf schools received a huge influx of formally mainstreamed kids (it wasn't just state deaf schools) Heck Clarke even used to advertise the middle school program! I do kinda think it might be b/c a lot of state Deaf Schools are becoming hoh friendly. Also, b/c people may not be aware of Clarke School having dorms.
 
deafdyke said:
Then how come Clarke isn't seeing a huge influx of oral kids in middle school? I know back in the old days, a LOT of oral deaf schools received a huge influx of formally mainstreamed kids (it wasn't just state deaf schools) Heck Clarke even used to advertise the middle school program! I do kinda think it might be b/c a lot of state Deaf Schools are becoming hoh friendly. Also, b/c people may not be aware of Clarke School having dorms.
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Because they aren't developing the skills necessary to be successful in an oral environment. Oral programs are pretty darned selective at that point.

Parents fail to recognize when the lags begin...as do the mainstream teachers. As a consequence, they are behind before anyone attempts to do anything about it.
 
Just to say, I'm an hearing parent and I often say to my son he's lucky... For not hearing his sister, who is talking 24/7, even in her sleep :lol:

I think being lucky or unlucky is something a person can say for himself. I do think I'm lucky to have two kids that are soooo different one from the other, even if some days I'm REALLY exhausted!

I understand from what I read that being proud of being Deaf is not the same of being proud of being deaf (sorry for all those "beings", *cough*). Being deaf is just something that happened in your life, being Deaf is the way you cope with your life, is what you choose to do with your deafness, what you make of it. You can indeed be proud of it since it's something you did, it's a will act and not a "happening".

Please correct me if I'm wrong! Just trying to understand difficult concepts in a different language :hmm:
 
messymama said:
Just to say, I'm an hearing parent and I often say to my son he's lucky... For not hearing his sister, who is talking 24/7, even in her sleep :lol:

I think being lucky or unlucky is something a person can say for himself. I do think I'm lucky to have two kids that are soooo different one from the other, even if some days I'm REALLY exhausted!

I understand from what I read that being proud of being Deaf is not the same of being proud of being deaf (sorry for all those "beings", *cough*). Being deaf is just something that happened in your life, being Deaf is the way you cope with your life, is what you choose to do with your deafness, what you make of it. You can indeed be proud of it since it's something you did, it's a will act and not a "happening".

Please correct me if I'm wrong! Just trying to understand difficult concepts in a different language :hmm:
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Not wrong in the least. You have a better grasp than many whose native language is English.
 
Because they aren't developing the skills necessary to be successful in an oral environment. Oral programs are pretty darned selective at that point.

Parents fail to recognize when the lags begin...as do the mainstream teachers. As a consequence, they are behind before anyone attempts to do anything about it.
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Well the thing is......I do know that Clarke and the private oral schools have gotten a LOT...and I mean a LOT better at telling parents " Your kid needs ASL/Sign, when the delay is in preschool. Although I do remember a few years ago (meaning within five years, since I was 28 ) being on the train to San Antonio and we stopped in St. Louis. A mom with a CI little girl came on. I remember overhearing that she was at an oral school, and could only say one word....Mama?!?!
But the thing is jillo, although they weren't ...ummmm the kids who had failed to develop speech, they were still stuck with progressing in the mainstream ....so they ended up at Clarke/CID/St. Joseph's/ the one in Pittsburgh.
 
messymama said:
I understand from what I read that being proud of being Deaf is not the same of being proud of being deaf (sorry for all those "beings", *cough*). Being deaf is just something that happened in your life, being Deaf is the way you cope with your life, is what you choose to do with your deafness, what you make of it. You can indeed be proud of it since it's something you did, it's a will act and not a "happening".

Please correct me if I'm wrong! Just trying to understand difficult concepts in a different language :hmm:
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Sorry but that's not the case. A deaf person has such as much right to be proud of "the way they coped with their deafness".

For instance, my family, my mother and I worked hard to ensure I get a good mainstreaming education. Should that be diminished any less cause it happens to be the deaf route?
 
jillio said:
Not wrong in the least. You have a better grasp than many whose native language is English.
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Alright, let's roll up our sleeves and get a little constructive here. Now here is a perfect example that shows that a little sensitivity could work both ways.

Now, are you saying that how the deaf "coped with their deafness" should be less diminished than how the Deaf coped with theirs?

As a matter of fact, if anything, there were times that I actually thought the opposite. That how the deaf were raised were sometime a little harder or more challenging, especially during the "pre-CI" days. While many of the Deaf were in their own comfort zone in their own schools for the Deaf.
 
Hohtopics said:
Alright, let's roll up our sleeves and get a little constructive here. Now here is a perfect example that shows that a little sensitivity could work both ways.

Now, are you saying that how the deaf "coped with their deafness" should be less diminished than how the Deaf coped with theirs?

As a matter of fact, if anything, there were times that I actually thought the opposite. That how the deaf were raised were sometime a little harder or more challenging, especially during the "pre-CI" days. While many of the Deaf were in their own comfort zone in their own schools for the Deaf.
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Yo you hearing wanna be, you don't go around singling out individuals and insulting them one by one then turn back and say "Now that shows a little sensitivity could work both ways." You've lost that right to say that when you started slinging insults, and most recent (anyone correct me if theres an newer one) being the one that was basically singling out very very small group of deaf women that are married to hearing men here.
 
deafdyke said:
DeafCaroline, GOOD POINT!!!!!! Grendel you ARE raising your kid the right way. We are NOT criticizing you at ALL. I mean...functionally hoh with CIs, and fluent in both ASL and spoken English AND attending a Deaf school. That rocks!!!!!! But, I do think that one thing that really isn't addressed adqautly is the psychological effect that therapy, therapy therapy and even more therapy has on a dhh kid. Yes, Li Li learned spoken language the way I did, and the way a hoh kid did...without really intense AVT training. She just got oral intervention via a DEAF SCHOOL!!!!
As well as the psychological effect that solotaire mainstreaming has on a dhh kid. Seriously.....I do think that solotaire mainstreaming after a few years in a dhh program is a LOT better then solotaire mainstreaming, the way DeafCaroline and me and Bajagirl and shel90 did. THAT type of mainstreaming is HORRIBLE...and is sadly VERY common. We're not pro deaf school b/c of some misplaced loyalty. We are pro deaf school b/c we see the damage that kneejerk mainstreaming causes...and that's not just academic....it's also psychological. When I vended at the Clarke School Mainstream conference there were all these kids who were OK academicly, but were suffering majorly socially....and that is a HUGE HUGE area of concern. Social issues ....random mainstreamed dhh guys iming me b/c they want a girlfriend (yes even with my screenname?!?!) Social issues are the backbone of sucess in the world, as well as key to getting a good job. Yet so many of us mainstreamed and oral kids never managed to make it socially, except a bit superfically in the hearing world.....and that is still going on. Ask jillo, ask shel90, ask bajagirl.
Ask me. Hell, I just finished an article for my syndrome's newsletter about how kids with disabilties should AVOID being mainstreamed in middle and high school b/c its so so bad! I know you're seeinga lot of impressive stuff....but bear in mind that Li Li's age group is still young. I have a feeling there's going to be a HUGE migration back to Deaf Schools around middle and high school b/c of major social emotional issues.
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Count me on that list too, deafdyke, I was put in mainstream hardcore oral only with no accomodation except a suggestion of wearing HAs which I discarded shortly after, due to a number of reasons.
 
posts from hell said:
most recent (anyone correct me if theres an newer one) being the one that was basically singling out very very small group of deaf women that are married to hearing men here.
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FYI, I already conceded saying "Alright, you have a point" to the two of the replies to that post.
 
jillio said:
Your perspective is distorted. The Deaf who marry hearing are very much more secure in themselves than you give them credit for. They are secure enough in themselves to be able to embrace a difference in partner. It takes a stong self image and a feeling of considerable confidence in one's own worth to engage in a relationship with someone of a different hearing status, or from a different culture. Only the ones that lack self confidence seek out a constant diet of sameness for validation.
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I am one such person who not only married a hearing man, but also married inter-culturally. I'm Caucasian, he is Asian.
 
Hohtopics said:
Of course not, as to that I've also always been close to my hearing family members, relatives and all that.

But it does seem a little bit of a double standard that if some of them are supposedly so proud of their Deaf identity, then shouldn't they be secured enough to also marry one?

Some of them probably won't admit that privately, they probably like the secured feeling of having an hearing person to fall back on. Yet, they put on this "brave front" that they're supposedly so proud to be Deaf and all that.
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Oh wow...no wonder.
 
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