A Deaf person in large hearing event

authentic

authentic

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Since there are deaf gatherings are starting to decline every year due to high cost of living here in San Francisco/Bay Area, and I decided to involve activities/events in the hearing world. I had different experience with every gatherings.

Sports:

Futsal (8vs8 mini soccer)- Every Mondays in SF, Every Fridays in Fremont, crowd in San Francisco doesn't care that I am deaf, they play each other like they don't even know each other ... no talking or anything, just PLAY the ball attitude. In Fremont, there is a leader who knew that I am deaf, he would introduce me to every players on my team to let them know that I am deaf. I told this leader that he don't have to do that. He said he want to....w/e!

Coed softball- Every Tuesdays, COED team, friendly group of people who knew that I am deaf....and one time a guy hit the ball so high and I was in second base. I run for the ball and a hearing guy who went for it too... basically we looked up the ball in the sky and running at same time. I am sure he speak to let him have the ball, but I am deaf. Yes, we crashed hard ... he fell on the ground and got dizzy for a while. I was fine and I double checked with him to see if he is ok, and later we laughed about that.

Coed volleyball- Every Wednesdays there are coed volleyball near my home, they are pretty much intermediate/advanced players and I had a good time playing with them. Those players are friendly and supportive, for example I made a mistake, they reinforced me by clapping or sometimes they explain what to do to avoid same mistake again by gesturing/pose with picture by picture, etc.

Weekends- Single meetups at restaurant/private homes/lounges/road cycling/ hiking/etc... I met some friendly hearing people, some would stay and talk with me for quite long, some would talk with me for short, and I had quite interesting conversation with them.

I actually never being left out in the hearing world.

Now, please do share your experience in any event with full of hearing people.
 
It sounds like you're having mixed results with your efforts to immerse yourself in the hearing world--my experience as well (although I've not made the effort you have)--I'm a senior and I miss the days when deaf events were more plentiful. :(. As a person who prefers signing as my method of communication--and also because my lip reading and oral skills are not great--my comfort level is greatest around other deafies but of course day to day life inevitably involves interaction with hearing folks.
I do have a couple of hearing friends, people who have been in my life for quite some time, who go above and beyond in their efforts to maintain a friendship that works on both ends and I enjoy their company but I rarely these days purposely foray into the hearing world for my social life. Some letdowns in the past and a lot of work!
 
Authentic, I have always enjoyed reading of your experiences over the 6 years I have been here on Alldeaf. These new experiences immersing with hearing world too. While I applaud your bravery in trying out new things, however, the novelty of this new experience will soon wear off and harsh reality will set in. After a while, your identity as a Deaf person will slowly get swallowed up. Im not saying about being treated as an equal or as 'one of the boys' here, Im saying as a deep sense of loss of identity as a person. Coming from the other end of the yardstick, with me being born deaf in a hearing family, growing up oral in hearing world with no interaction with other D/deaf/HH, until I joined AD in 2009 and started interacting with fellow D/deafies. I was so relieved and happy to finally find others who understood and had similiar perspectives and experiences. Until recently (19 months ago) when I had started being unable to go to Deaf socials and events due to a illness. Now having no others on a regular basis with whom I can identify as my true self and who I am as a person, a deep sense of loss and grief has returned. I would not wish that upon anyone.
 
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BecLak said:
Authentic, I have always enjoyed reading of your experiences over the 6 years I have been here on Alldeaf. These new experiences immersing with hearing world too. While I applaud your bravery in trying out new things, however, the novelty of this new experience will soon wear off and harsh reality will set in. After a while, your identity as a Deaf person will slowly get swallowed up. Im not saying about being treated as an equal or as 'one of the boys' here, Im saying as a deep sense of loss of identity as a person. Coming from the other end of the yardstick, with me being born deaf in a hearing family, growing up oral in hearing world with no interaction with other D/deaf/HH, until I joined AD in 2009 and started interacting with fellow D/deafies. I was so relieved and happy to finally find others who understood and had similiar prespectives and experiences. Until recently (19 months ago) when I had started being unable to go to Deaf socials and events due to a illness. Now having no others on a regular basis with whom I can identify as my true self and who I am as a person, a deep sense of loss and grief has returned. I would not wish that upon anyone.
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Not everyone feels that. What you are describing is depression, which is often co morbid with MS.
 
Been immersed in both worlds since a pre-teen...ups and downs with both of them...that's Life. And no reason to choose one for the other at all. Have met some really heartless people from both worlds, back stabbers to boot...but does not/will not deter me from not having anything to do with people, regardless if they are deaf or hearing.

I applaud Authentic for his outlook....it's healthy.
 
Funny, today at road cycling event, a guy who was in "shock" that I am deaf who is holding a really nice road bicycle. He pointed at my bicycle with no speaking.....and few minutes later I kicked his ass when it comes to climbing uphill. Feel so great.
 
Have discovered can be lonely if stick to one only but I respect and admire you only wish someone with your attitude to get things going was here I not patronising....
I know what you mean deaf events clubs etc fewer.
 
I think my bad experiences growing up oral only and being a "failure" to fit in with hearing people is preventing me from socializing with non-signers now. I just don't have the desire to work hard at lipreading while socializing and end up with headaches but kudos to you Authentic for doing this. Sounds like you are having positive experiences! :)
 
Bottesini said:
Not everyone feels that. What you are describing is depression, which is often co morbid with MS.
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Botts, The only place where M.S. fits into what I posted is that I am no longer able to get myself places. I am now back stuck in a world where I am the only Deaf person, the only one who signs, with no one to sign with but myself in the mirror. Grief and depression are totally unrelated and two very different things.

Im pretty sure Authentic can hold his own very well. He's always up for the challenge of new things and I enjoy reading of all his new adventures.
 
BecLak said:
Botts, The only place where M.S. fits into what I posted is that I am no longer able to get myself places. I am now back stuck in a world where I am the only Deaf person, the only one who signs, with no one to sign with but myself in the mirror. Grief and depression are totally unrelated and two very different things.

Im pretty sure Authentic can hold his own very well. He's always up for the challenge of new things and I enjoy reading of all his new adventures.
Click to expand...

Did you even think what you said to him in his joyful, happy thread?

Why not just start your own downer thread?
 
Outside of work. I dont really socialoze with stranger hearies. I have my few ckose friends, snd some hearie who sign..
The rest, i dont bother with..
Hearies are just like a case of bad athletes fot. Cant igbore them, hsve to deal with him, they never go away....
Meh
But we do allot of sociaizing at work, and work related socializing. So im always busy with something
 
authentic said:
Funny, today at road cycling event, a guy who was in "shock" that I am deaf who is holding a really nice road bicycle. He pointed at my bicycle with no speaking.....and few minutes later I kicked his ass when it comes to climbing uphill. Feel so great.
Click to expand...


Way to go Authentic! :applause: :h5: Deaf Pride!! Keep waving the flag.
 
Bottesini said:
Did you even think what you said to him in his joyful, happy thread?

Why not just start your own downer thread?
Click to expand...

Good idea - sure a downer thread.......... #raisesflag DOWN WITH AUDISM!!! :smash::smash::smash: :wave:
 
authentic, I didn't realize that lots of Deafies have been leaving CA. which part of CA were you speaking of?

For me, It seems to me that I haven't socialize with hearing people because I ve been busy with my family( hearing kids), hearing relatives and hanging out with Deaf friends and (hearing) Interpreters.

However, I do chat with hearing people at my work all the time either body language or write the pads, or instant messager (its for work computer). I have close two hearing friends here but only went out for baby showers or bridal showers or celebration with them. I haven't gone out with them on the regular days. Its OK though!
 
Frisky Feline said:
authentic, I didn't realize that lots of Deafies have been leaving CA. which part of CA were you speaking of?
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He noted the San Francisco/Bay Area in CA in his 1st post. I've heard of a few deafies leaving that area. One of my closer friends still lives there but I don't know for how much longer... it's going to break his heart if he has to leave.

I know of another deafie friend.. well acquaintance who just CA this past spring- he lived in southern CA I think-- San Diego area I think.
 
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