5 Stages of "Drunkness"

rockin'robin

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Stage 1 – SMART
This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.

Stage 2 – GOOD LOOKING
This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.

Stage 3 – RICH
This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armoured truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you will win all your bets. It doesn’t matter how much you bet ‘cos you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world.

Stage 4 – BULLET PROOF
You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART, you are RICH and hell, you’re BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!

Stage 5 – INVISIBLE
This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you’re still SMART you know all the words.
 
Stage 6 - SHOCKED
This is the last of the last stages of drunkenness. This is when you're puking at the toilet and then slowly starting to realize that none of the first 5 stages is true. And it seems like all of a sudden the universe is against you and there's no reason for it.
 
Lol. I've been every stage... plus a few more.

Stage 6b- What?- When you wake up in jail with two black eyes, a sore stomach, a hell of a head ache, your shoes and pant legs soaked in alcohol, and you've had one Disorderly Conduct, one Drunk In Public, and two Noise Complaints filed against you (but damn you sang so fine!).
 
:giggle:
Lol. I've been every stage... plus a few more.

Stage 6b- What?- When you wake up in jail with two black eyes, a sore stomach, a hell of a head ache, your shoes and pant legs soaked in alcohol, and you've had one Disorderly Conduct, one Drunk In Public, and two Noise Complaints filed against you (but damn you sang so fine!).

:giggle: :giggle: And everybody is "beautiful after 2AM!" HAHA
 
Nope, that is stage 7.

Stage 6 - SHOCKED
This is the last of the last stages of drunkenness. This is when you're puking at the toilet and then slowly starting to realize that none of the first 5 stages is true. And it seems like all of a sudden the universe is against you and there's no reason for it.

The stage 6 actually is called memory deletation. Your so smart that you kept hitting del button which deletes memory out of your brain.

So best pray that you didn't kill anyone during that stage.
 
Stage 8 is when you wonder what you did last night and your friend fills you in on your obnoxious, embarrassing behavior.:shock:
 
Stage 6c, Possibility I: Rude Awakening - You wake up next to what you think is a heifer in Screwed, Nebraska.
Possibility II: No Awakening - You never wake up while awaiting cremation at the morgue in Screwed, Nebraska.
 
Never been there, thank the ceiling cat!
 
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