3 year old with cochears

[shel90]

Where/who?

Originally Posted by faire_jour
At a middle school age, it should be your choice, at 7 months, no. A 7 month old pulls off hats, bibs, socks, shoes, ANYTHING they can reach, it doesn't mean they don't like it, it means they are a child.


That sounds like advice telling the OP not to listen to his/her child simply because he/she is a child?

 

[AlleyCat]

I had to refit my child's nearly every 2 weeks for 5 months -- she was growing like a reed.

Ok good. And at any time one of those is not a good fit, it causes for sore ears. My guess is that something is wrong with the CI on this 3 YO that's making him not want to wear it. Sounds are too loud, processor is uncomfortable, something. That's what we are saying in our HA/earmold analogy.

 

[shel90]

I had to refit my child's nearly every 2 weeks for 5 months -- she was growing like a reed.

Well, many of us didnt have parents like you. We were left with 2 year old ear molds that caused blisters in our ears and all kinds of **^(. The OP came in here asking us for advice and we are sharing our experiences to maybe to give him/her an idea of the child could be going through. It may not be my situation, AlleyCat's, PFH, my brothers or etch but at least the OP gets a list of diffeernt scenarios to check out and to be kept in mind for future references.

So, can you pls stop making analogies about our deafness to vegetables or blindness because I feel that they arent the same unless a person who is deaf and hates veggies or a deaf-blind person tells us otherwise. Then I would *shut up*.

 

[AlleyCat]

Well, many of us didnt have parents like you. We were left with 2 year old ear molds that caused blisters in our ears and all kinds of **^(. The OP came in here asking us for advice and we are sharing our experiences to maybe to give him/her an idea of the child could be going through. It may not be my situation, AlleyCat's, PFH, my brothers or etch but at least the OP gets a list of diffeernt scenarios to check out and to be kept in mind for future references.

So, can you pls stop making analogies about our deafness to vegetables or blindness because I feel that they arent the same unless a person who is deaf and hates veggies or a deaf-blind person tells us otherwise. Then I would *shut up*.

 

[GrendelQ]

First, Shel, I'd never want you to shut up.

And second, I wasn't making an analogy to your deafness. From wearing warm clothes to eating vegetables to wearing glasses, the comparison was with wearing a device (hearing aids/CIs). Parents don't 'force' children to do these things for their own sake. In most cases, parents 'parent' as best they can -- often asking a child to do things that the child doesn't see immediate benefit in -- for the sake of the child, not because they are hearing people oppressing the deaf.

 

[deafgal001]

Wirelessly posted

So I guess the future is a child can't be deaf because isn't best for him.

 

[Anij]

I have a profoundly deaf 3 year old son with cochlear implants. He was activiated about 4 months ago. Getting him to wear his cochlears has always been a challenge, but, once they are on, he seldom takes them off. The last 2 weeks have been beyond challenging. We can't get him to wear them at all. All of our old positive, and negative, rewards have stopped working. It is as if he is trying to tell us that we can't make him do it. I am at my wit's end. Does anyone have any suggestions? The odd thing is that he has really amped up the babbling! I wish he could hear all of the new sounds he is making. He even said mom, repeatedly, as was babbling himself to sleep the other night.

I know I'm jumping in on this late - and I hope that the OP is following this still.

Firstly - I refuse to get into a battle over CIs ... it does this 3 year old CHILD no good.


I'd recommend doing some troubleshooting to see what may be causing the problem.

Things to look for are:

Physical issues on the child

*Skin breakdown or ANY redness at or around the incision area, behind the ears and espeically were the magnet sits - this can indicate infection, irritation etc that needs to be treated FIRST (I'd recommend not putting the magnet on until the skin heals if this is the case).

*Magnets being too strong (needing spacer etc) ... sometimes too strong a magnet can -over time- become very painful for various reasons. try seeing if you can reduce the pull of the magnet without having them fall off etc.

*If they wear anything on their ear ... it can be (espeically for a child) uncomfortable - they are heavy and bulky and sometimes actually painful, especially if there is scar tissue behind the ear (as an ADULT I have this problem with my HA ... I have lots of scar tissue from non-CI surgeries behind the ear that sometimes is VERY painful even if it's been "fine" for months - if I take a week break from wearing my HA, it heals and I'm fine for another many months ... if I keep wearing it though it gets more and more painful - even though it LOOKS fine)

Also - make sure that he doesn't have a sinus or ear infection(s) ... these can make a HUGE difference and making everything painful, uncomfortable. If at all possible get a Peds ENT to look or someone properly trained to see very subtle ear infections. Unfortunately family doctors/General Doctors and Emergency Drs OFTEN miss ear infections in adults and espeically children ( I know that first hand and have the additional hearing loss to prove it)


Device Issues
Once you've really really looked and watched to make sure it's not a physical issue causing them pain with the components (not turned "on" - just the pieces themselves sitting in place on his body) then see if it's a mapping issue etc

I'd suggest putting JUST the magnets on (not the processors or anything) and see if he's ok with that, then add the processors (turned off) and see if he's still ok ... if that isn't bothering him ... then it's likely a SOUND problem (mapping, volume etc).

If you have a very quiet map - see if he'll (after wearing JUST the magnets for 30mins, then adding the processors in off mode for another 10mins) be ok with the quietest map.


Regardless - you need to take him in to have the maps looked at, and most likely changed.


It's also worth mentioning that those of us who are Hoh/Deaf - need "quiet time" MUCH more (generally) than hearing people. We need some time each day that we can just "turn off" listening for a while. For us hearing is work, it will ALWAYS be work - though for those with CIs over years and years the work MAY get easier - it's STILL work.

If he's speaking words, then teach him the vocabulary he needs to explain that he needs quiet time, that the CIs are not working/sounding right etc.

If he's not speaking words - even if you aren't currently teaching him and sign language , please consider teaching him some basic signs to indicate "PAIN" (signed in the area it hurts, or signing PAIN then pointing to the part that hurts), "WOW! LOUD" (too loud), "QUIET NOW" (need a listening break) etc so that he has a very real way to explain exactly what the problem is (espeically if he CAN'T hear - or is refusing to put the CIs on)

while I realize that some CI parents at least initially make the choice not to use any sign language ... these simply signs in addition to speaking will 100% ensure that your child is able to communicate what the problem is ALL the time (when the CI is off, when it's not working, when he isn't able to understand what you are telling him etc).

As a parent he needs YOU to teach him how to communicate this things in a way other than "freaking out".

I hope this helps
If you would like help teaching these few signs - please look at my post also under parenting in the thread "Baby sign language question" as it explains how to introduce signs to hearing babies/toddlers etc (or Hoh/CI children) who are primarily in an oral language home.

 

[faire_jour]

Not an appropriate analogy. Wearing glasses doesn't hurt. Wearing HAs and earmolds that cause sore ears does. I've had ears that bled from ill-fitting earmolds. There was something just said about that in another thread today.

And the same was said by all my deaf friends while growing up. Even others here have said the same.

I guess we are not "deaf people in general".

Wearing glasses can hurt, exspecially if they are not fitted correctly, just like hearing aids and implants. But, again, if they are fitted correctly, they shouldn't hurt.

 

[faire_jour]

But the point of this thread is that the OP's child is rebelling against wearing his CIs and some poeple are practically telling the OP to make him wear it instead of seeking other reasons why.

NO ONE said to make him wear an implant that was hurting him, absolutely untrue. In fact, we are saying the opposite, get it so that they don't hurt.

 

[faire_jour]

Well, many of us didnt have parents like you. We were left with 2 year old ear molds that caused blisters in our ears and all kinds of **^(. The OP came in here asking us for advice and we are sharing our experiences to maybe to give him/her an idea of the child could be going through. It may not be my situation, AlleyCat's, PFH, my brothers or etch but at least the OP gets a list of diffeernt scenarios to check out and to be kept in mind for future references.

So, can you pls stop making analogies about our deafness to vegetables or blindness because I feel that they arent the same unless a person who is deaf and hates veggies or a deaf-blind person tells us otherwise. Then I would *shut up*.

So, it would be useful for you to share WHY it hurt and what the issues the parent could be looking for, rather than saying that he should have to wear his devices, or that parent who insist that their child wear his devices are "doing it for themselves" or that they "aren't allowing him to be deaf" or all the other baggage.

 

[Hohtopics]

Thank you.

A 3 year old child does not understand the long term consequences of choosing not to wear their implants.

Yes, just like the way I didn't understand better about not wearing hearing aids as a 3 year old but my mother did.

I also didn't want to do my homework at times either. But again, my parents particularly my mother knew better about the importance of education.

 

[shel90]

First, Shel, I'd never want you to shut up.

And second, I wasn't making an analogy to your deafness. From wearing warm clothes to eating vegetables to wearing glasses, the comparison was with wearing a device (hearing aids/CIs). Parents don't 'force' children to do these things for their own sake. In most cases, parents 'parent' as best they can -- often asking a child to do things that the child doesn't see immediate benefit in -- for the sake of the child, not because they are hearing people oppressing the deaf.

Ok so how is a child surrounded by only hearing peers is supposed to feel when he/she sees that her friends dont wear devices in their ears or on their heads? That could be taken as oppression by hearing people.

For a 3 year old, that wont be the case but like I said, I am sharing my experiences so the OP can get an idea. If you dont agree with my experiences, your decision.

 

[shel90]

Wirelessly posted

So I guess the future is a child can't be deaf because isn't best for him.

I guess not.

 

[Beowulf]

Wirelessly posted

So I guess the future is a child can't be deaf because isn't best for him.

Nope. Not that there is anything wrong with being deaf, it just needs to be fixed. Why are you so upset? You are misreading my sentences. There, there, let me pat your heads.

 

[GrendelQ]

Wirelessly posted

Wirelessly posted

So I guess the future is a child can't be deaf because isn't best for him.

Nope. Not that there is anything wrong with being deaf, it just needs to be fixed. Why are you so upset? You are misreading my sentences. There, there, let me pat your heads.

You may look at it as "fixing" -- perhaps that was what you were looking to do in your own pursuit of a CI-- but many who know what a CI can and can't do don't look at it that way.

Again, just because some of us choose ASL or spoken language or cued speech or HAs or CIs or unaided approaches doesn't mean we're suggesting another approach is not valid. Why do you take offense at someone else's choice ?

Parents MUST take action with a deaf child-- and that might be to get CIs and pursue spoken language or to find access to asl and pursue a signed approach or some combination of these or other approaches.

Just like being responsible for providing your child with veggies, you have to figure out how to do that.

 

[posts from hell]

Someone needs to upgrade their sarcasm radar.

 

[deafgal001]

Wirelessly posted

There's dislike and there's hate with a passion. Most kids just dislike which is easy to put your foot down and tell them they must do it. Once they do it, they don’t think about it. But those who hate something with a passion will put up a fight, and won't give up even months later ( got worst , not better,as time goes on) . No amount of award or punishment would change it. My hating onions is one of the example. You can't make me eat it even to this day. Another example is when a child thinks he is a girl. You can argue all day and he still will not wear boy clothes and think himself as a boy.

 

[Frisky Feline]

Yes, that's a valid point.

 

[Beowulf]

Wirelessly posted

There's dislike and there's hate with a passion. Most kids just dislike which is easy to put your foot down and tell them they must do it. Once they do it, they don’t think about it. But those who hate something with a passion will put up a fight, and won't give up even months later ( got worst , not better,as time goes on) . No amount of award or punishment would change it. My hating onions is one of the example. You can't make me eat it even to this day. Another example is when a child thinks he is a girl. You can argue all day and he still will not wear boy clothes and think himself as a boy.

You don't like onions? Here's a big plate. EAT IT! It is good for you and you will thank me later. EAT IT!

 

[deafgal001]

Wirelessly posted

I'll just vomit everywhere.seriously.