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Cheri's dresser drawer. Jesus, Mary and Joseph—have you ever heard of ODOR EATERS?!?!? :roll: Barney :type:

They have medications for that now, Einstein. Don't you watch television? Barney :type:

Take it out and shoot it. Barney hates toasters because they get more respect and attention than he does. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: dildos are de facto household appliances, and it is time that you treated us as such. Until this day comes, I say dildos rule and toasters drool...

I am going to save the world from destruction. I am here to serve you as a one-man (or actually one-dildo) think tank capable of solving any problem. All you have to do is tell me what your problem is and I will solve it for you. It can be something as insignificant as an infected boil on your...

My components were made in Mexico and I was assembled in Taiwan.

Of course, nobody even thought to ask ME! Would it have been so freaking hard for you to just PM me and say something like "hey Barney—we're looking for a new mod, and I think you're just the man for the job." But no. America is ready to accept a woman or an African-American for president, but a...

Well, at least SOMEBODY shows their household small appliances the respect they deserve. That's more than I can say for the rest of you evolutionary dead-ends around here.

Batteries included, eh? Greetings then, from one dildo to another. :wave:

Tell me when I will die.

Now you're getting it. This country will go down the toilet no matter who's in the Oval Office. So just grab the brass ring and enjoy the ride.

Thank you sooooo much for that lovely mental imagery. :barf:

Right—when I become Prez, buy LOTS of stock in DuraCell. :deal:

That's right. I have a "hands off" foreign policy. That's cuz I got no hands. I'm no Bush, even though I service one. Here's my game plan: to build a new military. A million talking dildos, all heavily armed. So I'm looking to open negotiations with countries who can supply me with the raw...

Looks like I was wrong. The posts were deleted at the request of another member.

Want to see something really ironic? Look at bbnt's last post, made just over a year ago.

They were deleted because I made the fatal mistake of saying "can we puhleeeeeze get back to the topic at hand." I wasn't really complaining—you guys were playing right into it and setting me up perfectly for the one-liners. But somebody who doesn't understand how humor works took it upon...

Of course I'm going to screw you y'all. I'm a vibrator—that's my purpose in life. But that ho Monica better keep her big booty out of my Oval Office, 'cuz I'm not passing out cigars.

Ya see? This is exactly what I'm talking about. Ever since I first set foot on this message board, I have been accused of being a sock puppet of another member. When are you going to wake up and realize that I am a sentient being with feelings and desires, just like you? It ain't easy being a...

I'll have you know that I practice scrupulous personal hygiene, thank you. There will be no fishy smell coming from the Oval Office during my administration, I can assure you.

I have decided to run for the Democratic presidential nomination in 2010. I feel that the time has come for a dildo to take high office. I realize you haven't treated me with much respect in the past. You have ridiculed me, insulted me, and made me feel like I don't belong in civilized company...