Will you Choose between Boyfriend or Girlfriend over your kids?

Casperman

Casperman

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I want yalls Opinion on that one... IF you met a guy or gal, and didnt introucde them to your kids and you dated them for a while then one day you finally win the custody or whatever it is, and you and ur date gotten used to be alone all the time and being free and have fun all the time before kids come back in ur life and ur date starting complaining about being alone all the time, or complaing that kids taken up yalls space or ur kids demand ur attetion all the times etc and makes ya choose him or her than kids or tired of thier complaing what will yall do? Kick him or her out or break up or save them and choose them over the kids.... i know some ppl tend do that and some do that as present choosing boyfriend or girlfreidn over kids or thier visitation to kids.......
the reason im asking becasue our boys is 6 and 5 and have autsic and ADHD and they demands alot of atteition and love.. if not givin them one they will be MAD or etc , and Autsic son demands someone sleeps with him for a while to feel secure and i did my research said its normal till he grew up or he relaize etc i know its hard but i do accept them no matter if a gal dont like it thereis the door she can get out
 
To me, your boys comes first, if your lady whinging and complain, she is not worth to keep, show her the front door!!!
 
I know it's HARD to find a woman who will accept your kind of situation, because of your sons who are ADHD. It requires alot of patience, if a woman is willin' to go through with it for love. It's not easy to find a woman who will think of your sons to come first before her - at first, it seems ok... but, in the long run a woman may complaint or nag about it. :dunno: It really depends on how you want to spend with a woman to balance it with your son bein' involved as a family.

Good luck to find a right woman. :)
 
balancing the time

Yall are right espcailly Cyberred... i can balance the time.. but if others dump the boys to me and keeping them full time, what should i do...balancing my time with futrue dates and my boys etc.. it will be pretty hard...its not easy that way right now im single becasue i need fosus on myself and my boys for a while becasue i dont think i deserve fun etc like otehrs always do leaving the kids and not see kids often as they should etc so i have pateince and fosus on the kids for while till things settle down, then i can move on and having more fun , etc... so wait and see what happens in the future paths...
 
Answer to your question.

As long as your new partner accept what you and your children are when she/he really love you. If not, forget your new partner...


I know it's bit topic off but I hope you don't mind me to say something about your children. I would suggest you to seek the counsellor, therapy & doctor for the help.
 
I agreed...as long as parnter/gf/bf accept and love kids.

Liebling:-))) said:
Answer to your question.

As long as your new partner accept what you and your children are when she/he really love you. If not, forget your new partner...


I know it's bit topic off but I hope you don't mind me to say something about your children. I would suggest you to seek the counsellor, therapy & doctor for the help.
Click to expand...
 
Hey

I am seeking an therpaist for year now.... really helped me alot with many issues..one for my ADHD and other one for my fruastion, depression and anger so it been helpin me alot lately
 
It's great to hear that you are seeking for the help. You are great parent :thumb:
 
When I met somebody special, I don't care what this person got, it is all about package, everything comes with it. Wheather parts of them I like or not. For me, a child is too precious to parent to leave! I have my son, and I understand completely! Cheri got 2 sons, and I have zero problem with that.
True love means accept whatever this person got to offer.
 
It's been sadly to see most of my friends or other people that I have seen or heard.. that they left their kids behind and went for bf or gf.. its start to getting more and more of that..
I WOULD not leaving my kids behind over BF.. I was single for almost 6 years with 4 kids, I have met few men online before my current man of 4 years.. Most of them begged me to move in without my kids along.. I was like.. wtf.. and feel fishy.. they might want to sell my body.. heh.. but.

Its terrible to do to leave kids behind and go across the states or country to be with bf..
like few news i have seen..
last year the mother of 18 months old.. she left 18 months old in crib with enough of blankets and toys and bottles.. she flew across other states.. the neighbor heard baby constantly cries and remember that mother left with suitcases.. they try to figure out if mother actually left the baby behind plus the window was broken.. the temperature was 20 something.. so neighbor decided to check in, peeked through the window and saw the baby laying on floor and only in diapers.. the neighbor called police.. they got the baby, baby is fine.. Thank God.. they arrested the mother, the mother said that her new bf dont like kids.. WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!! if any of men that i go out with and dont like kids.. DUMP them.. kids come first..

its so sad to see the children left behind.. or put last in parents' lists..

Dear parents whoever you put your kids first.. I give you my hugs!! and applaud you for your exterme patiences.. I know its so hard to be single and wanting to have a mate... but you got the kids that always love you back more... Time will come to have a good mate in your life..
huggs.. :dance2:
 
Casperman said:
I am seeking an therpaist for year now.... really helped me alot with many issues..one for my ADHD and other one for my fruastion, depression and anger so it been helpin me alot lately
Click to expand...


Great.. that makes you stronger and build more patiences.. I have been there.. i was single mom for quite long time with 4 kids.. one of 4 kids have EBD (emotion behavior disorder).. it was the hardest deal but I was support by support group.. and activitices with other kids and mothers.. its really helped alot.. now my son is older.. 11 1/2 years old.. hes doing well and better than couple years ago.. but of course some times he's pain the butt.. but as long you get the help to behold your patiences or frustrations..

Hang in there Bud.. :) :hug:
 
I undy your situation. I am separated myself raising two young boys on my own. their father is never around. it is not easy. I would pick my own children first over them even bf/gf won't like it. Hit the road, pal.

I make sure my own children comes first, if bf/gf gives an effort to be part of children's lives. I am ok w that as along they put effort to learn, to love, to give attention, be a caring parent even children are missing part of parent in their lives. It is hard but that is reality of life that we have to face everyday. best of luck!
 
Doofusmomma, your story got me goose pumps... I can't beleive what a mother do that to her flesh and blood baby... She born her own flesh and blood baby... This is a sick!
 
Action Speaks louder than Words

I know some ppl will charm others and saying ooo yr kids are surely important etc then go ahead on dating etc then when becomes serious and living together etc then they change thier attidue towards the kids and becoming like controlling and order gf or bf to get rid of kids or not take kids anywhere.. if it happens to my kids other side.i promise that they will deserve justice... bec i hate see them hurting or something like that
 
Casperman said:
Yall are right espcailly Cyberred... i can balance the time.. but if others dump the boys to me and keeping them full time, what should i do...balancing my time with futrue dates and my boys etc.. it will be pretty hard...its not easy that way right now im single becasue i need fosus on myself and my boys for a while becasue i dont think i deserve fun etc like otehrs always do leaving the kids and not see kids often as they should etc so i have pateince and fosus on the kids for while till things settle down, then i can move on and having more fun , etc... so wait and see what happens in the future paths...
Click to expand...

Yeah, it is why it is important to have all few things : Patience, balance, sharin', love with an open-minded and acceptance. If, we live in 1930's or older, it would be an easier to find a right woman/ man - but, as for today some of them sucks, because of abuse nowdays is alot worse than before. I've seen people abused their kids - poor kids, because some parents have NO patience. I know it's very HARD -

Wonderin', if your sons' mother help with your situation to share each other's balancin' time so this way both of you as parents can have break for fun, datin' and etc., etc. ? Maybe, that will help ?
 
Hey

Right now its so complaied.. but my parents keepin boys so i have more time going places unless they need me so i had a talk with them today and they said that know i need more free time and they said GO FOR IT so i am gopin for it
 
:angel: Hey Casperman, you really got some good advice from members. It's true your children come first no matter what. When you do meet that special someone, it's good to be honest and upfront first and tell this person that you do have children that are very important in your life. Especially when children have disorders that do need your love, security and attention. My foster son, who we plan on adopting, has ADHD and PTSD, 8 years old, and he had a hard time trusting us at first. Wondering if we're going to leave him? Because he lost so many people in his family. Give him the sense of security, just like you have to do with your own children, and these people will have to realize that these precious gifts from God come first in your life. So they can either reject the idea, or join in and get to know your children. People come and go in our lives Casperman, but, children? Children are irreplaceable!!! Good luck and God Bless :hug:
 
Yes, that is true what been said up there. am single parent myself and been for almost 8 years , but been met some guys one of the guy been seen us from time to time . not to live . and it was for about 3 months , then i start feel not to be right , and this guy went too fast to take over like said wish my kids where his's then i start to be feel queasy as not to feel right , and my kids been tell me that they do not like this guy, so myself too either not to feel right in the end .. and thought it wouldnt be fair on my kids . they were happy just being us as myself too either i does to feel be happy what i have got , and i told this guy please do not bother to call and come around . i did tell him what we ( me and my kids) been to feel, and he keep begged me said thought we like him i told him because kids thought do not want to upset me but i am glad for them to be honest to tell me what they feel, so this guy been tried to bothered me often and i told him am sorry i have to put my kids first because they are my life , and i aint gonna to having this happen again .. as at the moment my kids are now more content and happier and they did tell me that they dont think this guy is not the suitable for this family .. i thanks my kids for be so honest. ( am sorry if my english is not good as least i try my best :) ) .
 
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