Why??

shel90

shel90

Love Makes the World Go Round
Premium Member
Joined
Sep 7, 2006
Messages
45,078
Reaction score
335
Since I joined AD in Sept, I have read several postings about ADers not liking the deaf community and my friend who lives in another state who is deaf but knows little sign language told me that she wanted to go to Gally but was afraid that other deaf people will reject her cuz she didnt know ASL. I asked her what made her think that..she said she went to a deaf club in Philly a few years ago cuz she wanted to learn sign language and find friends like her (that was before she met me and our other deaf friends) and what happened was that deaf people there didnt acknowledge her or ignored her. She felt very uncomfortable. I told her that used to happen to me all the time in Phx deaf clubs when I was trying to learn ASL. If they want to maintain the deaf culture and ASL, pls approach and talk to deaf people who know little or no sign language!

Now, my question is..why do people who are strong Deaf reject other deaf or hoh people who didnt grow up knowing ASL, were mainstreamed, or got CIs?

When I first went to Gallaudet, I had so many deaf people look down on me cuz I wasnt "ASL" enough. At first, I was very hurt and took it personally cuz I assumed I would fit right in being deaf myself. Didnt know that there was a label about being deaf enough. Anyways, after a year, I got fed up and said to those people "F*#k u...u already judge me based on how I grew up and on my limited ASL skills and dont bother to get to know me. That's your loss cuz more and more deaf people like me are coming to Gally so either change your attitude or become in the minority with everyone rejecting u. See how that would feel." After that, they realized that I had a good point and they told me that they were raised by many deaf adults teaching them that deaf people who are oral are rejecting their culture and sign language. Huh?

Just was wondering why cuz we are all deaf or hoh and most of us pretty much experience the same issues and frustrations so we should be more supporting of each other, right?
 
Right!! I know exactly how your friend feels, I've been in that situation once before when I tried to be a member at one of the deaf clubs near my hometown but some ignored me after they found out I mainstreamed, grew up oral ,sign SEE..yet I'm no different than they are, afterall I've gone through frustrations and experiencing what it was like growing up deaf ,stuggling on trying to fit in with hearing kids that I went to school with, and finding jobs when people out there don't give us enough chances etc, or thinking we unable to do the job ...As for being part of the Deaf community I kept asking myself this question of why some Deaf people will reject others just because we are a little different than they are or how we were raised etc? I suppose that I wasn't Deaf enough for them...:dunno:
 
One of my friend are same your shoe. He never learn sign language till 19 years old. I met him at college. He is hard of hearing and use to public school. He never went deaf school like I go there. He is frustrations and mad. I met him and what is wrong then he said everybody hate me. I ask him how come from?. I notice he is not good sign ASL. I ask him are you enroll public school right.? He said yes. I told him that some deaf is not very good along with hearing or who is deaf but can hear with HA and speak very well. He learn and realized. I teach him sign ASL and help him correction sign. Somehow he is become my friend since today. Still he is hang around with my friends. It was dumbass who person rude to person who never learn sign ASL or unaware after graduated high school then went college after that all sudden feel get lost cause they don't know sign ASL Thur communications. Funny thing He ask me how come you don't hate hearing person like him. I said well depend on where they live in. I was grew up hang around with my hearing friends at my hometown during summertime. During deaf school I spend more deaf people. I don't bother me who they are hearing or deaf. I just treat same way and respect deaf or hearing. It was remind me of my friend is same your shoe. I can see different public school and deaf school.
 
shel90 said:
Since I joined AD in Sept, I have read several postings about ADers not liking the deaf community and my friend who lives in another state who is deaf but knows little sign language told me that she wanted to go to Gally but was afraid that other deaf people will reject her cuz she didnt know ASL. I asked her what made her think that..she said she went to a deaf club in Philly a few years ago cuz she wanted to learn sign language and find friends like her (that was before she met me and our other deaf friends) and what happened was that deaf people there didnt acknowledge her or ignored her. She felt very uncomfortable. I told her that used to happen to me all the time in Phx deaf clubs when I was trying to learn ASL. If they want to maintain the deaf culture and ASL, pls approach and talk to deaf people who know little or no sign language!

Now, my question is..why do people who are strong Deaf reject other deaf or hoh people who didnt grow up knowing ASL, were mainstreamed, or got CIs?

When I first went to Gallaudet, I had so many deaf people look down on me cuz I wasnt "ASL" enough. At first, I was very hurt and took it personally cuz I assumed I would fit right in being deaf myself. Didnt know that there was a label about being deaf enough. Anyways, after a year, I got fed up and said to those people "F*#k u...u already judge me based on how I grew up and on my limited ASL skills and dont bother to get to know me. That's your loss cuz more and more deaf people like me are coming to Gally so either change your attitude or become in the minority with everyone rejecting u. See how that would feel." After that, they realized that I had a good point and they told me that they were raised by many deaf adults teaching them that deaf people who are oral are rejecting their culture and sign language. Huh?

Just was wondering why cuz we are all deaf or hoh and most of us pretty much experience the same issues and frustrations so we should be more supporting of each other, right?
Click to expand...

You raise great points! Been one of my pet peeves for eons. Just because I can function like the hearing didn't mean I'm reject the deaf or their culture.

My take on it is that it is just human nature. People simply just get jealous of those who can do things that others can't do. It is made worst by the fact there aren't many in the world who sign. It is an exclusive club if you will. So, you get the "circle the wagons" mentality and protect it at all costs. Anybody who is deaf and doesn't sign for whatever reason is a bigger threat than those who hear and don't sign (what else does one expect anyway).

For me the kicker is your last paragraph...our experiences as being deaf in any form are so similar that it defies belief that we don't understand or see the problems they have in their lives.
 
wow interesting thread here. I'm total surprised because I don't have any experience like this what you all had through.

In England and Germany, respect HOH, oral, strong sign languages or whatever equal... We don't have any problem with them... My hubby grow up oral and involve with deafies...

I can image it must be pain for you all... I would say their loss!!! Their uneducation and ignorant....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Very good post shel, and somethingthat certainly needs to be discussed. I think that the whole attitude is the result of historical injustices that have been perpetrated on the signing Deaf for so long. For many many years, it was oral deaf or signing Deaf. The signing Deaf have been treated historically as if their deafness and their language made them inferior not just to the hearing, but to the oral deaf as well. We've all heard and read the horror stories of the treatment that signing deaf children were exposed to near the turn of the century when schools for the Deaf began to switch to an oral philosophy of education. Unfortunately much of Deaf culture; Deaf clubs included; were founded as a way to combat the injustice Deaf individuals felt at the hands of the larger society. These measures were very adaptive, as Deaf clubs, and associating with other signing Deaf, were one of the few ways that many individuals had to maintain any sense of identity and feelings of worth. The hearing point of view had been forced on Deaf individuals for so long, that many didn't want anything that could be remotely connected to hearing society intruding on their Deaf world. It is a very natural and understandable reaction.

The sadness is that the world of the Deaf has changed, but some of the attitudes have not. That happens in all cultures--technology advances at a much greater rate that the individual's ability to change with it.

I do think, however, that changes are happening. Most Deaf I know are much more accepting, for instance, of CI now than in the past, and that is an attitude change that I have witnessed first hand since first becoming involved with the Deaf community. While, 15 years ago, the attitude was one of hard lined rejection, the prevailing attitude now is cautious acceptance. Unfortunately, for those of us who remain cautious, we are often seen as being totally opposed by those who haven't seen the change in attitudes.

I do believe, however, if we keep communicating in an open way, and being tolerant and understanding of each individuals belief system and where that belief system came from, we will all make progress--in the hearing world's attitudes toward deafness, and in the Deaf attitude toward the hearing.
 
I did the same thing.. I went to Gally in 96 and surely wasn't ASL at all. Once I got to meet people.. they were really obnoxious and would tell me I didn't belong in Gally because I Mainstreamed. I stayed anyway. I ended up having friends that was patient with me and has taught me so much. I came home using ASL. Thanks to my true friends that helped. I can see where there is a group. Group of INTELLIGENT, group of low function mind, group of athletics, group of drug-heads, etc. They just have their own preferences. As for me, I'm neutral, I'll take anyone in as long as they have respect for me and back to them. I've been in that situation where they tell me I didn't belong in that "group" which is fine because I wasn't comfortable anyways.

I know its hard but your friend will find her true friends and will help her out.
 
I agree with you shel90, it's like totally deaf people consider themselves a race which has become extremely racist.
 
It is actually very normal for people who are given labels by society to 1) regect that label and 2)create labels amongst themselves. :-o Deafies ARE normal!!! :D

I too understand this, I grew up HoH and mainstreamed and started learning some PSE in HS then in College I started going to Deaf events and picked up ASL. Am planning on taking an upper levels ASL course to improve my skills but get by fine now.

Since I started into the Deaf World I started to identify more with Deafies and HoH than I did with Hearing. Growing up I had the label of Hearing Impaired - this means to me BROKEN and I (nor any other D/HoH) is BROKEN and I refuse to use that term any more. I also correct people who do use it.

I agree that the elitist Deafies who look down on others for not being ASL enough need to grow up and smarten up. If you want "your" language of ASL to continue then invite people in don't shut them out. Shut them out and your language and culture will go away just like a kids secret club and handshake does when they grow up.
 
cdaigle430 said:
I agree with you shel90, it's like totally deaf people consider themselves a race which has become extremely racist.
Click to expand...

PLEASE stop confusing race with culture. It is very misleading and inacurate.
 
It usually depends on the community and how they do things.

I've heard stories of how some students reject other students because they don't fit in "Deaf Culture" or "Deaf Pride".

What major is your friend interested in... at Gallaudet?
 
Funny thing it happened to me too since I was mainstreamed all my life until I was in college and joined the Deaf sports... At the parties, I would come to some from deaf school especially as well a deaf ASL teacher he was really arrogant at the time cause I was new and didn't know ASL. He told me that I needed to be perfect ASL in order to meet others, I'm like well sorry SIR I will when I can.... I think the day I tested him that I knew ASL fluently he was shocked but I haven't forgiven the first time .... It shows how people are in their lives. I'm the kind to help others some that don't know signs I will help them out .... We don't need controlling people like that smile... I guess what I can say is if they make you so dang uncomfortable just walk away, you don't need negativity in your life...for what?? to belittle you... no way...

Cheers.. smile...
 
TFWFalcon said:
One of my friend are same your shoe. He never learn sign language till 19 years old. I met him at college. He is hard of hearing and use to public school. He never went deaf school like I go there. He is frustrations and mad. I met him and what is wrong then he said everybody hate me. I ask him how come from?. I notice he is not good sign ASL. I ask him are you enroll public school right.? He said yes. I told him that some deaf is not very good along with hearing or who is deaf but can hear with HA and speak very well. He learn and realized. I teach him sign ASL and help him correction sign. Somehow he is become my friend since today. Still he is hang around with my friends. It was dumbass who person rude to person who never learn sign ASL or unaware after graduated high school then went college after that all sudden feel get lost cause they don't know sign ASL Thur communications. Funny thing He ask me how come you don't hate hearing person like him. I said well depend on where they live in. I was grew up hang around with my hearing friends at my hometown during summertime. During deaf school I spend more deaf people. I don't bother me who they are hearing or deaf. I just treat same way and respect deaf or hearing. It was remind me of my friend is same your shoe. I can see different public school and deaf school.
Click to expand...

Psst...off topic... lmao.. we have the same birthday but a year off!! that's unreal huh.. lmaoo
 
If they want to maintain the deaf culture and ASL, pls approach and talk to deaf people who know little or no sign language!

Now, my question is..why do people who are strong Deaf reject other deaf or hoh people who didnt grow up knowing ASL, were mainstreamed, or got CIs?

When I first went to Gallaudet, I had so many deaf people look down on me cuz I wasnt "ASL" enough. At first, I was very hurt and took it personally cuz I assumed I would fit right in being deaf myself.
Click to expand...
I agree! I wish more of them understood that the majority of raised oral only folks DID NOT consciously choose that path. Sheesh........it's not MY fault that the doctors told my parents not to Sign with me. I do think however, that one thing that has turned Deaf Extremists off of orally skilled dhh, is the attitude of the stereotypical oral deaf person. I'm not talking about someone who is orally skilled. Rather I am talking about the people who act very "high and mighty" , and look down on Sign b/c they are so orally gifted and so "better educated" then Sign using Deaf.
I find it really ironic that there are Deaf extrmists out there who claim that orally skilled dhh aren't really deaf............that is a HEARING attitude. Sure I can hear and talk realtively well........but that doesn't mean that I look down on ASL and Deaf culture, or that I can't benifit or enjoy being Deaf.
 
shel90 said:
Since I joined AD in Sept, I have read several postings about ADers not liking the deaf community and my friend who lives in another state who is deaf but knows little sign language told me that she wanted to go to Gally but was afraid that other deaf people will reject her cuz she didnt know ASL. I asked her what made her think that..she said she went to a deaf club in Philly a few years ago cuz she wanted to learn sign language and find friends like her (that was before she met me and our other deaf friends) and what happened was that deaf people there didnt acknowledge her or ignored her. She felt very uncomfortable. I told her that used to happen to me all the time in Phx deaf clubs when I was trying to learn ASL. If they want to maintain the deaf culture and ASL, pls approach and talk to deaf people who know little or no sign language!

Now, my question is..why do people who are strong Deaf reject other deaf or hoh people who didnt grow up knowing ASL, were mainstreamed, or got CIs?

When I first went to Gallaudet, I had so many deaf people look down on me cuz I wasnt "ASL" enough. At first, I was very hurt and took it personally cuz I assumed I would fit right in being deaf myself. Didnt know that there was a label about being deaf enough. Anyways, after a year, I got fed up and said to those people "F*#k u...u already judge me based on how I grew up and on my limited ASL skills and dont bother to get to know me. That's your loss cuz more and more deaf people like me are coming to Gally so either change your attitude or become in the minority with everyone rejecting u. See how that would feel." After that, they realized that I had a good point and they told me that they were raised by many deaf adults teaching them that deaf people who are oral are rejecting their culture and sign language. Huh?

Just was wondering why cuz we are all deaf or hoh and most of us pretty much experience the same issues and frustrations so we should be more supporting of each other, right?
Click to expand...

This has happened to me, too. I'm not very oral, but I have good English skills, I sign PSE, etc. I went to Gally in summer of 1998 for a summer college bound program for deaf high school students. I thought I would enjoy my stay. But no I did not enjoy it very much. There were 2 groups in my program, 1 is strong ASLers, the other group is mixed oral/pse/cued/etc. I tried to hang out with the ASLers since I had been at a state school for the last few months. I sit at their table (ASLers) at lunch and they completely ignored me, as if I did not exist. Next day, I try sitting at the other table (oral/pse/cued/etc), they take interest in me, all of them. Even though I don't speak well, I mainly sign, I manage to get on well with the oral and cued students, as well the PSE signers.

What is it with the ASLers who find it necessary to reject others who aren't ASLers but wants to learn ASL...geez.

So, as a result I left Gally knowing that I would never fit in there and as a result I was pretty depressed about the whole situation. I didn't know what to do now that Gally was out of the question, that it was not the right school. (remember, I was only 17 at the time).

What the ASLers did was NOT nice...they need to grow up!
 
deafdyke said:
I wish more of them understood that the majority of raised oral only folks DID NOT consciously choose that path. Sheesh........it's not MY fault that the doctors told my parents not to Sign with me.
Click to expand...

More importantly, I wish a majority would accept that a non-signing choice can be a valid choice, if not the one they would prefer. It's very uncomfortable to be present for a rant against cochlear implants (in all ways and all forms, that is - I don't have a problem with people pointing out specific issues or situations with CIs that are problematic) and see everyone around you agreeing very strongly, when you know that you're going to have one in the next few months. Especially if that rant comes from an authority figure of some sort. After all, if people can rally around that idea so strongly when it's just an abstract concept, what happens when there's a living breathing example of the idea standing right there?
 
VamPyroX said:
It usually depends on the community and how they do things.

I've heard stories of how some students reject other students because they don't fit in "Deaf Culture" or "Deaf Pride".

What major is your friend interested in... at Gallaudet?
Click to expand...

She already got her Master's in deaf ed from another college about 11 years ago. She has been a teacher since then. She didnt know any other deaf people until about 3 years ago when she met my best friend who lives in PA and then met the rest of us. Now, all 5 of us are very close. Piss me off that the rest of them live in PA while I live here in MD. I dont have close girlfriends here in MD cuz of this issue. Someone told me that the MD deaf community is very "clique" like. Dont know if that is true or not but I have a hard time finding people I can trust or relate to like I do with my girls in PA.

Wow..many of u went thru the same thing. It is silly isnt it?
 
I went to New York to to see if I like RTID (i forget name). I hated it so much because noone welcome me to join. Most deaf students were not from RTID because all of us just visited to see if we like or not. I tried be join and chat with them but they ingored me. I thought it is not worth for me to go there so I would go hearing college. I always had an interpeters. My best friend who went to Gally for few years. He didn't give up and ingored deaf people who were not welcome him. My other old friend went to Gally. She didnt give up and graduted Gally. My male friend and female friend said at first it was so hard to fit in then it took long time to fit in. They said Educations were important than friends.
 
ghsh1996 said:
I went to New York to to see if I like RTID (i forget name). I hated it so much because noone welcome me to join. Most deaf students were not from RTID because all of us just visited to see if we like or not. I tried be join and chat with them but they ingored me. I thought it is not worth for me to go there so I would go hearing college. I always had an interpeters. My best friend who went to Gally for few years. He didn't give up and ingored deaf people who were not welcome him. My other old friend went to Gally. She didnt give up and graduted Gally. My male friend and female friend said at first it was so hard to fit in then it took long time to fit in. They said Educations were important than friends.
Click to expand...

Yea that was my experience at Gally and I refused to give up cuz education was important. I am glad I did go cuz it was a great experience despite a few snotty people. I ended up making friends with hearing people or deaf people who grew up mainstreamed like me. I just think it is sad that some people are like that instead of being understanding and welcoming. Their loss. :dunno:
 
Back
Top