Why do deaf get offended when hearing people....

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robbielyn

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watch them sign? I understand getting offended when they say something mean. But I bet quite a few are either curious or think signing is unique and cool. Like I think signing is ultra cool. I love it and easily sign in public not caring what others think. Of course I guess when I start talking people may think oh she is hearing. And may just walk away. I guess since deaf are an oppressed people, maybe from that perspective, one would get offended by a hearing person staring. Since I am hearing it doesn't offend me if someone stares. So from that perspective maybe that is why I don't because I am not oppressed. Hmmmmm. Any thoughts?
 
It's probably because they are a minority.

It's like a black church. If a white person walked in, all the black people would immediately look at that white person.

If a deaf person looked at another deaf person signing, would anyone complain? Probably not.
 
HUH? I am sorry but isnt that about having manners? How would U feel if people are staring at u? It gets uncomfortable!! Same thing goes for us deaf people. I do not like it when people are staring at me and my friends while we converse. Makes me feel like I have a booger on my face or something. OH boy...

It is not about feeling oppressed. Is that what hearing people think? If so, that is just not true.

Vampy..if another deaf person was staring at me while I was conversing with my friends, I wouldnt like it cuz it shows that the deaf person is being nosy. The least that person could come over and say "hi" or whatever instead of sitting down and staring at us. I would be offended regardless if the people are deaf or hearing.
 
I've found it very difficult since I've started learning ASL *not* to stare sometimes, because I've been trying to see how much I can understand (since my vocabulary grows every day). But then I remember that it's not the responsibility of the Deaf family out for dinner to ensure that I understand ASL, and realize that it'd be just as rude if I sat next to a hearing family, hanging on every word they said, and being obvious about it. If I'm not part of the conversation, it's not polite to stare, period. But as a hearing person (who is in the process of learning ASL), I understand the fascination with signing. And, in my view, it's OK to be fascinated with it, and to think it's "cool"... just don't be rude about it. It's all well and good to understand the language of ASL... but if you know anything about Deaf culture, you also know that it's rude.
 
shel90 said:
HUH? I am sorry but isnt that about having manners? How would U feel if people are staring at u? It gets uncomfortable!! Same thing goes for us deaf people. I do not like it when people are staring at me and my friends while we converse. Makes me feel like I have a booger on my face or something. OH boy...

It is not about feeling oppressed. Is that what hearing people think? If so, that is just not true.

Vampy..if another deaf person was staring at me while I was conversing with my friends, I wouldnt like it cuz it shows that the deaf person is being nosy. The least that person could come over and say "hi" or whatever instead of sitting down and staring at us. I would be offended regardless if the people are deaf or hearing.
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I would have to side with Shel here. It is simply rude behavior. However, I admit some people have not been exposed to sign and therefore have a "nine day wonder moment" when seeing it for the first time. One would think though that after a couple of times it gets old and polite behavior kicks in. Alas, people don't have much in the way of manners anymore...
 
It's simply rude. Eavesdropping is socially unacceptable even if you don't understand what's being said, it's still rude.

It's not about feeling oppressed, that never occurred to me. I just don't like being stared at while I'm engaged in a private conversation.
 
If anyone watch me sign good on them but keep gawking for a long time i will ask them if they like to join .. some people do get curious how we communicate and i dont find them rude you just got to find way to get them to join :)
 
VamPyroX said:
It's like a black church. If a white person walked in, all the black people would immediately look at that white person....
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When was the last time you visited a Southern black church? If they notice a "new" person (white or black) enter the church, they greet the visitor warmly. :)
 
Now you know why hearing ASL students are afraid to meet Deaf people. In their classes they are always told to meet members of the Deaf community. But now they have to be afraid of offending someone by noticing them signing, and trying to gather up enough courage to approach them for a little conversation.

Sometimes, what might seem like "staring" is actually someone frozen with fear, trying to think of the right thing to do and sign in order to introduce himself. One negative glance from a Deafie will either totally shatter that hearie's confidence or cause him to think, "Wow, Deaf people sure are unfriendly!"

Just providing another possible viewpoint. :|
 
AussieGal said:
If anyone watch me sign good on them but keep gawking for a long time i will ask them if they like to join .. some people do get curious how we communicate and i dont find them rude you just got to find way to get them to join :)
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Good for u. For me, when I am out with my friends or family, I am there to spend time with them and there are times when I just dont want to be bothered about teaching people sign language. I guess it is because I am a teacher and I teach all day so when I am out, I want to relax and enjoy myself.

One time when my good friend from New York came to stay with me for the weekend, we went out and some poeple were staring at us signing. I asked them what was up? They asked if they could join so we could teach them sign language, I told them no cuz I hadnt seen my friend for 3 years and she was only staying for 2 days and one night. I wanted to spend as much time with her so there was no way I was gonna waste that precious time teaching strange hearing people ASL. I am happy that they are curious and everything but there is a time and a place for that. This was not one of them and teaching requires some work so I do not want to "work" again when I am out and enjoying myself. :ugh3: If that makes me a bitch, at least I am honest about it.
 
Reba said:
Now you know why hearing ASL students are afraid to meet Deaf people. In their classes they are always told to meet members of the Deaf community. But now they have to be afraid of offending someone by noticing them signing, and trying to gather up enough courage to approach them for a little conversation.

Sometimes, what might seem like "staring" is actually someone frozen with fear, trying to think of the right thing to do and sign in order to introduce himself. One negative glance from a Deafie will either totally shatter that hearie's confidence or cause him to think, "Wow, Deaf people sure are unfriendly!"

Just providing another possible viewpoint. :|
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I know but they have to put themselves in our shoes. I am sure they would do the same if people were staring at them. Why should we be different just because we use ASL?

Sometimes, those classes put ridiculous pressure on hearing people by assigning them to projects which involves meeting deaf people at social events. Some people are just shy in nature so why should they be put out of their element espeically when it comes to using a language they arent proficient at?

I think those projects should have the hearing students volunteer at work-places that are deaf or ASL orienated, deaf events, or maybe have a mentor program. That would give them easier opportunities to meet deaf people.
 
shel90 said:
I know but they have to put themselves in our shoes. I am sure they would do the same if people were staring at them. Why should we be different just because we use ASL?

Sometimes, those classes put ridiculous pressure on hearing people by assigning them to projects which involves meeting deaf people at social events. Some people are just shy in nature so why should they be put out of their element espeically when it comes to using a language they arent proficient at?

I think those projects should have the hearing students volunteer at work-places that are deaf or ASL orienated, deaf events, or maybe have a mentor program. That would give them easier opportunities to meet deaf people.
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Personally, it doesn't bother me to have people watch me sign. I love signing and I think most people are curious. It's like when you see a cute animal you never saw before maybe at busch gardens or something. You look with wonderment and curiosity. Now some are rude and idiotic so I am not talking about them yes they are rude but most people are just curious. The reason why it should be different because we use asl is because it is the only language that is unique and beautiful. Everyone else uses their mouths to speak their language. Deaf use sign languages and one can understand language with unique handshapes and facial expressions. It's cool. Don't be ashamed of it be proud of it and don't let other ignorants tell you different.
 
robbielyn said:
Personally, it doesn't bother me to have people watch me sign. I love signing and I think most people are curious. It's like when you see a cute animal you never saw before maybe at busch gardens or something. You look with wonderment and curiosity. Now some are rude and idiotic so I am not talking about them yes they are rude but most people are just curious.
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I understand about people being curious about signing and everything but to stare constanstly like they are examinating my moves really does make me very uncomfortable.

I guess u are comfortable with it. I dont know any other deaf people who are comfortable with people staring at them while they are conversing with each other. One of my friends gets a bad attitude towards to whoever is staring at her by saying nasty remarks to them. I tell her to cool it and try to be more polite about it but she expressed her frustrations of being stared at like she is some alien. I gotta admit that made me laugh.
 
IF people wants to be soo curious, then get a book or rent a movie, or attend sign language classes etc, staring is RUDE period, I hate it when people stare at me when I'm signing to RR, my children, my family or friends, I don't stare at people when they're eating or chatting along with someone....I just can not eat when people are sitting there staring at me....

It's like where your manner? didn't your mom teach you that it is rude to stare at people?
 
well when the deaf have had to deal with people who are nasty and outright rude then I can understand why they would consider it rude but sometimes I think some deaf are too quick to get offended and maybe should find out what their motives for watching two people sign is before they jump down their throats. My group and I are so excited at learning ASL and excited that we have full knowledge of the fact it is a real language and unique and beautiful we are proud to sign and it is only ignorance that cause people to be jerks or for people to downgrade signing. It makes me mad when people who are in charge of deaf education look down on signing as if it is embarassing. I never thought it was embarassing, and when I learned ASL was complex language and not just broken english(which originally I was taught) and when you know english sign and when you first see ASL it looks like that at first but when you start learning it, and you are well taught, you learn quickly just how complex yet beautifully clear it is. But whether or not english or asl signing itself has been put down by ignorant people and I don't understand it. Yeah it is different and it veers from the norm of spoken languages. That means it is unique and cool not weird.
 
shel90 said:
I understand about people being curious about signing and everything but to stare constanstly like they are examinating my moves really does make me very uncomfortable.

I guess u are comfortable with it. I dont know any other deaf people who are comfortable with people staring at them while they are conversing with each other. One of my friends gets a bad attitude towards to whoever is staring at her by saying nasty remarks to them. I tell her to cool it and try to be more polite about it but she expressed her frustrations of being stared at like she is some alien. I gotta admit that made me laugh.
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hahaha, funni!!
 
What would be cool would be to have some business cards printed with the name and address of any local ASL classes that are being given. If you find someone watching you sign out of curiosity, just hand one of the cards to them. On the back of the card should be printed "Shatter silence. Learn ASL". What do you say, guys?
 
shel90 said:
...One time when my good friend from New York came to stay with me for the weekend, we went out and some poeple were staring at us signing. I asked them what was up? They asked if they could join so we could teach them sign language...
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That was a bit presumptive on their part. I think a short friendly greeting and introduction would be OK, and then go your separate ways. But a request for you to teach them sign language was expecting way too much.
 
robbielyn said:
well when the deaf have had to deal with people who are nasty and outright rude then I can understand why they would consider it rude but sometimes I think some deaf are too quick to get offended and maybe should find out what their motives for watching two people sign is before they jump down their throats. My group and I are so excited at learning ASL and excited that we have full knowledge of the fact it is a real language and unique and beautiful we are proud to sign and it is only ignorance that cause people to be jerks or for people to downgrade signing. It makes me mad when people who are in charge of deaf education look down on signing as if it is embarassing. I never thought it was embarassing, and when I learned ASL was complex language and not just broken english(which originally I was taught) and when you know english sign and when you first see ASL it looks like that at first but when you start learning it, and you are well taught, you learn quickly just how complex yet beautifully clear it is. But whether or not english or asl signing itself has been put down by ignorant people and I don't understand it. Yeah it is different and it veers from the norm of spoken languages. That means it is unique and cool not weird.
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Since you are hearing, I will try to address this froma hearing perspective.

If you were having a private conversation, and someone walked over and stood close enough to hear every word you were saying, obviously listening to your private words, would you be a little put off? What if you moved away to regain your privacy, and that person followed you and continued to listen to words not meant for their ears. Would you be offended? Watching Deaf people engage in private conversation is the same thing as listening to hearing people engage in private conversation.

Its great that you are so proud of your new found skills in signing, but to you it is a novelty and something unique. To the Deaf signer, it is a way of communication, and they deserve the privacy anyone else deserves. If a Spanish person who was just learning English went around butting his nose into conversations just because he had learned some English phrases, he would be considered rude beyond belief. Same with staring at Deaf people having a private conversation. Please, have some manners!
 
:hmm: Maybe deafies has their own paranoia over being staring by the people? :shock:

Same thing with deafies's staring at other people like armless man...cleavage lady...or purple alien. Yeah, staring at other deafies that they never seen them somewhere. In fact, we are in the public place where we has five senses (see, hear, taste, smell, and touch) that allow here...maybe 6th sense - esp. I had been there before...that didn't effect me but few of my friends...I knew there won't be forever.

We lives with cruel and manner people here. :|
 
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