What's your description of a self-centered parent?

[bpkCountryGirl]

How do you think it affects the child? Did you feel that your parents were self-centered? If they were, did it affect your relationship with your parents?

 

[bpkCountryGirl]

How do you think it affects the child? Did you feel that your parents were self-centered? If they were, did it affect your relationship with your parents?

I wrote this when I was half-asleep. I'll give a few examples....Do you feel a parent is self-centered when....

they choose to party every weekend with their friends or just hanging out with them? (There's nothing wrong with having a social life while being a parent but kids deserve time from their parents too especially if the parents work or pursue their education for a better job for their family.

Work more than 50-60+ hours per week, including commute?


Having multiple boyfriends or girlfriends because the parent is trying to fill a void in his/her life?

Put their kid(s) to bed EARLY just to get away from their kid(s) or to drink/smoke with family/friends?

Send their kid(s) to a babysitter/caregiver on a frequent basis because a parent feels their priorities comes first like shopping, hanging out with friends, pursing their own interests/hobbies without their kid(s) around? All parents deserve a break from their kid(s) but I do think some take advantage of it too often

 

[Reba]

...Do you feel a parent is self-centered when....

they choose to party every weekend with their friends or just hanging out with them?

Yes.

Work more than 50-60+ hours per week, including commute?

Depends. Are they working all those hours because they must to support the family, or just because they feel "fulfilled" in their jobs or like the prestige of their job?

Having multiple boyfriends or girlfriends because the parent is trying to fill a void in his/her life?

Yes. While children are still living at home, the single parent needs to put the dating life on the back burner. The additional negative effect of multiple dating partners also establishes a bad example for the children to follow when they begin dating.

Put their kid(s) to bed EARLY just to get away from their kid(s) or to drink/smoke with family/friends?

Yes.

Send their kid(s) to a babysitter/caregiver on a frequent basis because a parent feels their priorities comes first like shopping, hanging out with friends, pursing their own interests/hobbies without their kid(s) around?

Depends. How often is "frequent"?

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I'm not sure about this thread here.

Can you care to explain the example of "Self-Centered" parents about?

Is it over-protective parents?

Or parent's control?

Parents need break often to get away from their children?

 

[BearBeauty]

A good example of a self centered parent would be leaving your children alone all weekend so you can go out and party, get drunk, have fun.. And your children are at home, with no parental supervision.

personally, from expierence, i can tell you it can affect your relationship with your parents.. Being angry at them for a long time... feeling like your parents don't care about you.. And it makes you resolve to treat your kids better than your parents treated you. I know I advocate forgive and move on.. but some instances.. it takes time to forgive them. I think parents should wait til the kids are out of the house and moving on with their lives before they try to get their kicks in.

 

[shel90]

For me it is simple...parents who put THEMSELVES first before their children's needs.

Like u and others mentioned, partying often but everyone has a different definition of how much is too much so it is a debatable issue.

Getting drunk and not being able to take care of the kids.

Doing drugs that make them unable to take care of their kids.

Having sex or exposing the children to sex propandga.

Neglecting to help their children with their homework.

Not interacting with their children at all..letting them, especially small ones, fend for themselves.

Neglecting to feed them well balanced meals but again that is debatable cuz everyone has their opinions on what is considered a well-balanced meal.

Using their money up on themselves first and not having any money for their children's needs.

Putting friends first before their children.

Watching tv too much and not spending quality time with children..again that is debatable.

Not respecting their adult children's decisions on what path they can take. Some parents expect their children to follow their religious beliefs and if the child doesnt adopt the same beliefs, the parents disown them. I think that is very self-centered.

Being overprotective is not considered self-centered..just some people dont know when it is too much.

My mom was not self-centered. She put us, kids, first before her. However, my dad was another story. My relationship with my dad is cordial but we arent close like I am with my mom. She is my hero.

I hope to be the same for my children and yes, I do make self-centered mistakes when I put myself first but at least I learn from them.