What You Learn From Loving An Addict

rockin'robin

rockin'robin

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I am not an addict.

But try and love one, and then see if you can look me square in the eyes and tell me that you didn't get addicted to trying to fix them.

If you're lucky, they recover. If you're really lucky, you recover, too.

Loving a drug addict can and will consume your every thought. Watching their physical deterioration and emotional detachment to everything will make you the most tired insomniac alive.

You will stand in the doorway of their bedroom and plead with them that you "just want them back." If you watch the person you love disappear right in front of your eyes long enough, you will start to dissolve too.

Those not directly affected won't be able to understand why you are so focused on your loved one's well-being, especially since, during the times of your family member's active addiction, they won't seem so concerned with their own.

Don't become angry with these people. They do not understand. They are lucky to not understand. You'll catch yourself wishing that you didn't understand, either.

"What if you had to wake up every day and wonder if today was the day your family member was going to die?" will become a popular, not-so-rhetorical question.

Drug addiction has the largest ripple effect that I have ever witnessed firsthand.

It causes parents to outlive their children. It causes jail time and homelessness. It causes sisters to mourn their siblings. It causes nieces to never meet their aunts. It causes an absence before the exit.

You will see your loved one walking and talking, but the truth is, you will lose them far before they actually succumb to their demons; which, if they don't find recovery, is inevitable.

Drug addiction causes families to come to fear a ringing phone or a knock on the door. It causes vague obituaries. I read the papers and I follow the news; and it is scary. "Died suddenly" has officially become obituary-speak for "another young person found dead from a drug overdose."

Drug addiction causes bedrooms and social media sites to become memorials. It causes the "yesterdays" to outnumber the "tomorrows." It causes things to break; like the law, trust and homes.

Drug addiction causes statistics to rise and knees to fall, as praying seems like the only thing left to do sometimes.

People have a way of pigeonholing those who suffer from addiction. They call them "trash," "junkies" or "criminals," which is hardly ever the truth. Addiction is an illness. Addicts have families and aspirations.

You will learn that drug addiction doesn't discriminate. It doesn't care if the addict came from a loving home or a broken family.

Drug addiction doesn't care if you are religious. Drug addiction doesn't care if you are a straight-A student or a drop-out. Drug addiction doesn't care what ethnicity you are. Drug addiction will show you that one decision and one lapse in judgment can alter the course of an entire life.

Drug addiction doesn't care. Period. But you care.

Drug addiction doesn't care. Period. But you care.

You will learn to hate the drug but love the addict. You will begin to accept that you need to separate who the person once was with who they are now.

It is not the person who uses, but the addict. It is not the person who steals to support their habit, but the addict. It is not the person who spews obscenities at their family, but the addict. It is not the person who lies, but the addict.

And yet, sadly... it is not the addict who dies, but the person.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/Alicia-cook/what-you-learn-from-lovin_b_8112240.html
 
Reminds me of the show Intervention on A&E. It's pretty unbelievable how addiction destroys families. Some of them would even steal from their own grandmother just to get their next high. But fortunately no matter how severe the addiction gets there is always hope. I've seen some amazing turnaround stories on that show.
 
Personally, I went thru all the phases in this article...for 25 years....Nothing worked. It takes a toll on your health and well-being...a sadness that will never go away. Broken families...anger...depression...sadness...all because the addict cannot or will not stop using drugs.

Yes, it's a disease. One of the worst I've encountered, as it lingers on and on.

Surely, faith and Hope...even falling on your knees to pray, is all that some survivors have left for drug addicts..But there comes a time, too...when if all fails...then learn to "let go"....I finally did...but the pain and bitterness will never go away. Because you're always waiting on that "knock on the door" to tell you they have passed away.

Some family members have said..."I just wish she/he would just die!"...but knowing still, the pain would be lingering on and on, not for the drug addict, but for the families that have or are going thru all of this.

Say NO to Drugs!...don't get entrapped. You are not only hurting yourself, but your family and those that love you....rockin'
 
A Nihilist said:
Reminds me of the show Intervention on A&E. It's pretty unbelievable how addiction destroys families. Some of them would even steal from their own grandmother just to get their next high. But fortunately no matter how severe the addiction gets there is always hope. I've seen some amazing turnaround stories on that show.
Click to expand...

Ive known a dude who pimped out his 11 year old daughter for more dragon. In time she was a large earner, working escorts in her esrly teens to late teens, by her early 20s, she was preety well all used up, damege goods with more tracks on her then a rail yard..and she never made it to 26. Going under, found dead, in a squat
I knew a working girl who slept with hers. For rock.
Ive seen mothers try to trade in their tots for dragon
Ive been offered fresh and dry scabs to smoke peeled from the open soars of tweekers....
I used to help hit working girls up by choking them to get the juglear up, as they had no veins left any where else. (Oh gally....where art thou?)....

Humans havnt suprised me the dephs they will go....for decades. Stealing mothers loot and rings, to robbing their grandmothers...hawking theie children.....its almost benal now, what creatures we can be. And are.

It took me years of being clean to be able to look at a human bieng without first seeing them as eaither horrible creatures or a means to an end or both.

I do NOT hold the idea or model that addictiin is a disease.
But i know full well its a very real form of slavery. What ever title.one gives it
 
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Drug addiction has been around since time began most societies have used something but the more primitive the society the more respect they have in using it and it's reasons for being used.
dRug addiction will always be with us so legalise it and that young man would still be aliveness I
 
hoichi said:
Ive known a dude who pimped out his 11 year old daughter for more dragon. In time she was a large earner, working escorts in her esrly teens to late teens, by her early 20s, she was preety well all used up, damege goods with more tracks on her then a rail yard..and she never made it to 26. Going under, found dead, in a squat
I knew a working girl who slept with hers. For rock.
Ive seen mothers try to trade in their tots for dragon
Ive been offered fresh and dry scabs to smoke peeled from the open soars of tweekers....
I used to help hit working girls up by choking them to get the juglear up, as they had no veins left any where else. (Oh gally....where art thou?)....

Humans havnt suprised me the dephs they will go....for decades. Stealing mothers loot and rings, to robbing their grandmothers...hawking theie children.....its almost benal now, what creatures we can be. And are.

It took me years of being clean to be able to look at a human bieng without first seeing them as eaither horrible creatures or a means to an end or both.

I do NOT hold the idea or model that addictiin is a disease.
But i know full well its a very real form of slavery. What ever title.one gives it
Click to expand...

I wonder if you appreciate the fact that you are here on alldeaf typing your thoughts. I'm rather amazed that you are still breathing!! Or is it just another "meh" to you. I see you as one lucky SOB.

I lost a dear nephew to an overdose, I'm sad and bitter. :cry:
 
Lost a niece to OD...a son and daughter to drugs also....friends, family....list goes on and on. I don't and cannot tolerate drugs.
 
hoichi said:
Ive known a dude who pimped out his 11 year old daughter for more dragon. In time she was a large earner, working escorts in her esrly teens to late teens, by her early 20s, she was preety well all used up, damege goods with more tracks on her then a rail yard..and she never made it to 26. Going under, found dead, in a squat
I knew a working girl who slept with hers. For rock.
Ive seen mothers try to trade in their tots for dragon
Ive been offered fresh and dry scabs to smoke peeled from the open soars of tweekers....
I used to help hit working girls up by choking them to get the juglear up, as they had no veins left any where else. (Oh gally....where art thou?)....

Humans havnt suprised me the dephs they will go....for decades. Stealing mothers loot and rings, to robbing their grandmothers...hawking theie children.....its almost benal now, what creatures we can be. And are.

It took me years of being clean to be able to look at a human bieng without first seeing them as eaither horrible creatures or a means to an end or both.

I do NOT hold the idea or model that addictiin is a disease.
But i know full well its a very real form of slavery. What ever title.one gives it
Click to expand...

I never thought of it as a disease, either....my opinion has changed over the years.
 
Annie09Z said:
I wonder if you appreciate the fact that you are here on alldeaf typing your thoughts. I'm rather amazed that you are still breathing!! Or is it just another "meh" to you. I see you as one lucky SOB.

I lost a dear nephew to an overdose, I'm sad and bitter. :cry:
Click to expand...

I apreciate fully. Im alive..and life is a treasure. Indeed im lucky....(ive used up all my luck though). I can feel that , i have no luck now to spare.
I spent most my 20s with a rather large death wish, and i was disapointed when i was brought back from going under with narcon (they use it to bring you back from an od on dragon)...
But even then, i always knew somehow, someway, id make it out...and it wasnt easy....damn.....it wasnt easy or pretty...
I havnt hit up or chased the dragon for 15 years..i wasnt a part timer, but i knew in my lowest depths and ugliest hell holes, i was called to something greater...
So i was
I left allot of hurt people along the way...i make no bones about it.and when i leave this world, plenty ill be caled on.
Mark my signs.
Yor right though.
Its a meh to me.
In the end.
Where just dust before the wind girl
 
hoichi said:
I apreciate fully. Im alive..snd life is a treasure. Indeed im lucky....(ive used up all my luck though). I can feel that , i have no luck now to spare.
I spent most my 20s with a rather large death wish, and i was disapointed when i was brought back from going under with narcon (they use it to bring you back from an od on dragon)...
But even then, i always knew somehow, someway, id make it out...and it wasnt easy....damn.....it wasnt easy or pretty...
I havnt hit up or chased the dragon for 15 years..i wasnt a part timer, but i knew in my lowest deoths and ugkiest ****eholes, i was called to something greater...
So i was
I left allot of hurt people akong the way...i make no bones about it.and when i leave this world, plenty ill be caled on.
Mark my signs.
Yor right though.
Its a meh to me.
In the end. Where just dust before the wind girl
Click to expand...

Thank you for that answer.
 
rockin'robin said:
Lost a niece to OD...a son and daughter to drugs also....friends, family....list goes on and on. I don't and cannot tolerate drugs.
Click to expand...

My sympathies to you on your family losses. It's so sad, isn't it? I'm really feeling quite down right now thinking about the waste of good human life that drugs cause.
 
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