What would you do if your children

[Liebling:-)))]

getting married somewhere alone without let you know?

How do you react if your children tell you that they prefer to get married somewhere alone instead of white wedding church?

How do you feeling about that?

Let me share about myself...

Our cliques & I enjoyed our good conversation last New Year Eve until one of our cliques stated that her daughter went to Las Vegas, USA with her boyfriend last 27th Dec. for 3 weeks vacation. (We all know that daughter's boyfriend proposed to her at romantic picnic last summer and want to have quiet wedding).

Anyway, we laughed with her & her husband and suggest that it could be their wedding there... unfortunlately, they seem to not pleased about this and said that it would be nicer when their daughter let them know that they will getting married alone but they didn't... They have strange feeling when her daughter mentioned "Las Vegas" and hope that she would open them about their wedding plan but she didn't. It disappoint her. We can understand how and where she come from.

After that, we begin to have good debate about our future children. How do we feel if our children getting married without tell us or tell us before go somewhere to get married alone... Most of us (our cliques including myself) agree that we have to accept the fact if our children have their own way for not want to tell us or tell us before getting married somewhere instead of white wedding church. Some of our cliques feel that it would be nicer when their children let them know... and share their feeling with them about not want to get married in wedding church... or rather marry at register office... ? I told them that I noticed that more young people prefer to marry somewhere than at church...

What do you think and feeling about your children like that?

Your opinion/debate is welcome no matter either you have children or not...

 

[jabbur]

I would hope my children would tell me they are going to Vegas to get married. I think I would be more upset if they marry without letting me know first than not want big church wedding. Ceremony not that improtant but knowing about marriage more important.

 

[Kalista]

It will break my heart if my children did not tell me in the advance of time in their wedding arrangement in somewhere else. I will respect their wishes, it would be a nice for all of mothers and fathers aware of their children get married.

As long as they are in much love and happier which are more important.

 

[GalaxyAngel]

Accept their wishes.. I cannot do anything control my child's wish their dream come true.. and wanted have their own wedding open or privacy... as long I still be there for my child.. If My child wishes not want me come their wedding.. that's fine as long make sure my child is alright. That's importance..

If my child want Fantasy Wedding.. that's fine go for it but my mind will gloomed dream about $! LOL

 

[sara1981]

dream coming true

IF when im dating with my British boyfriend and more trust each other,loyal,god,whatevers.

im sure if my boyfriend would propose at me whether what i wanted like at my birthday or christmas,new year eve and new year day they can tell children about parent's propose story that my secret! between me and my boyfriend.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Updated:

I forget about my thread here... Occchhh...

Yes I agree with you, GalaxyAngel & Kalista.

Yes, they got married in Las Vegas. They convinced their parents that it's for them alone and promise to have a small wedding this year... They kept their promise that they will get married in the church on 3rd May 2008.

 

[Matilda]

No, I wouldn't like to be kept in the dark regarding my children's future marriages. I'm aware of the trend towards smaller weddings outside churches for the last decade or so ... registry offices, parks, beach, tropical islands, etc. My children don't care for church or large weddings, they are always joking about having their weddings in our backyard with a BBQ. I'm all for it as this will save a lot of money for all of us all round!

I'm sure your friends' daughter and new son-in-law will hold their promise to keep the peace on both sides.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

No, I wouldn't like to be kept in the dark regarding my children's future marriages.

Yes I can understand how you feeling because I has the same feeling... All what I do is respect my children's wish...

I'm aware of the trend towards smaller weddings outside churches for the last decade or so ... registry offices, parks, beach, tropical islands, etc. My children don't care for church or large weddings, they are always joking about having their weddings in our backyard with a BBQ. I'm all for it as this will save a lot of money for all of us all round!

Yes it would be cool....

I'm sure your friends' daughter and new son-in-law will hold their promise to keep the peace on both sides.

Yes they married in Las Vegas alone and will marry next 2 weeks (on 3rd May 2008) for their family & close friends only.

 

[lilylover72]

I will feel hurt if my son dont tell me if he get marry. I hope that he will tell me when he get marry someday.

 

[lilylover72]

dream coming true

IF when im dating with my British boyfriend and more trust each other,loyal,god,whatevers.

im sure if my boyfriend would propose at me whether what i wanted like at my birthday or christmas,new year eve and new year day they can tell children about parent's propose story that my secret! between me and my boyfriend.

Honest with you, I don't think that your boyfriend will come. You said your boyfriend cannot come because he cannot afford to move. He have to pay his apartment. When????? You seem waste your time to wait for him. Do you know when? No I am sorry for you.

 

[GarnetTigerMom]

Honestly, I would be totally upset and disappointed if one of my children decided to get married without letting me know and keep me in the dark about a secret marriage. I believe that is wrong. It would break my heart if my child ever do that. But hopefully my children will keep open commuications and keep no secret.

 

[dreamchaser]

No, I wouldn't like to be kept in the dark regarding my children's future marriages. I'm aware of the trend towards smaller weddings outside churches for the last decade or so ... registry offices, parks, beach, tropical islands, etc. My children don't care for church or large weddings, they are always joking about having their weddings in our backyard with a BBQ. I'm all for it as this will save a lot of money for all of us all round!

I'm sure your friends' daughter and new son-in-law will hold their promise to keep the peace on both sides.

I think it would depend on the individual case. If I were going to get married, but I knew that my parents couldn't pay for a wedding, or if the in-laws or families didn't get along, pr of somebody in the family were adamantly against the marriage, or if I feared having a family spectacle at my wedding - like some uncle or somebody showing up drunk and mean - maybe then I would go get married first, and then tell everyone after it was done. then I could have a real wedding later, and nobody could disagree with the decision to get married or try to talk us out of it. But it might hurt my feelings if my kid just showed up married one day and didn't tell me.

the important thing is that they are happy and the marriage lasts!

 

[VamPyroX]

I wouldn't care if they decided to elope or have a small wedding. The only thing that really matters is that they tell me. If they wanted to get married and they love each other, then that's all that matters to me and I will be happy. I might wish that they could have a more formal wedding because I want to be able to help them have a wedding "of their dreams" and to share it with everyone else, but it's their wishes... and I'll try to respect that.

There is one thing I do not want... a stupid wedding like the one Britney Spears had... when she eloped in Las Vegas. :roll:

 

[jazzy]

My son got married last September. At first they wanted to get married in Las Vegas because they perfer small gather just us parents and hers and siblings and few friends but her mother changed her mind so they married at the beach with only families members (too many people in families) and few friends. I would be upset if they went up and got married without us. Now I am making sure my youngest one get married with us there, I do not care if they want to married in Las Vegas or here in our backyard as long as we are there. I ythink they are planning to get married next summer. so we will wait and see.

 

[deafbajagal]

If my girls got married without telling me, I would wish them every happiness in the world. They are grown adults (they BETTER BE ADULTS if they do get married) and can make their own decisions. All I can do right now while they are young is try to instill good morals, values, and judgement.
*whispering* (And I will be so thankful they saved me the headaches from planning and paying for their weddings! Shhhh!)

 

[Oceanbreeze]

Funny this topic came up.

My sister and brother in law found themselves in this position. Here's the circumstances:

My brother in law is Jewish and we're not. This was also my brother in law's second marriage, but my sister's first. When they decided to get married in 2000, they told both families of their plans, but couldn't decide where to have the wedding ceremony. It also didn't help that both famlies are/were scattered about the US. My parents and I live in S. FL, his parents live in MD, but my sister and prospective brother in law , lived in Georgia at the time.

Much discussion insued. My sister and brother in law told both parents that they did NOT want a church or synagogue wedding. My parents were fine with that, but his parents were not. As a result, it was decided that they would get married in FL, and just have a civil ceremony. This didn't sit well with his parents at all, and it caused alot of unneeded tension and strife with his parents threatening to boycott the wedding unless they got married in a synagogue in Maryland. Well, my sister and brother in law stuck to their decision, and as a result, my brother in laws parents and siblings didn't attend the wedding, which we held in our backyard with a justice of the peace performing the ceremony.

Incidently, we invited several of our friends and family from our side, and everything turned out very nice. It's a shame his parents weren't there, but that's the decision they made. It's regrettable, but I admire my sister and brother in law for sticking to what they wanted, and not bowing to pressure from family to do something they didn't want to do.