what to do

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charlyssa

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i want to let all of you know that i have been watching the board for a while now not saying anything becuz i was afraid that people will tell me what to do . but now i have a problem with my daughter . she juz turned two a few months ago .

she failed her hearing test at hospital . i wuz lost and looked all over the web to see what i can do . she failed other tests after that . i wanted her to be able to hear the things i can like music people tlaking . i am a single mother and got help from state to pay for hearing aids . my daughter kept throwing them off crying and screaming :(

i decided that hearing aids wuz not working for her so i got her implant . she was fine after getting implanted but when we turned it on the crying and screaming is worse . we turn it on about 3 months ago . i can not talk to her becuz she keeps throwing the parts off her head . im hurt becuz i want her to hear music and be able to talk to me

it make me frustrated i dont know what to do
 
I think she is telling you she isn't ready. I have never heard, so I can't say for certain, but I imagine hearing is probably pretty shocking when you've never heard before. Perhaps it's overwhelming for her? Frightening? Painful?

Could you wait until she's older and let her decide? In the meantime, learn to sign if you havent already :)
 
You have to figure out if it's more important that she talk to you, or that she be able to communicate with you.

From my position, I'd say the ability to communicate is paramount to the ability to talk.

Without knowing the details and going by what you provided, I'd say she is telling you the CI is uncomfortable for her. It seems that she's saying she really doesn't want to wear it. You have to weigh out if it's more important to push the CI, potentially at her expense or go with the clues she's giving you.

If you haven't started to sign yet, I'd highly encourage it. That will be the bridge to effective communication that it seems like she needs.

Good luck. Everything will work out, so long as you adress her communication needs as a deaf child.
 
charlyssa said:
i want to let all of you know that i have been watching the board for a while now not saying anything becuz i was afraid that people will tell me what to do . but now i have a problem with my daughter . she juz turned two a few months ago .

she failed her hearing test at hospital . i wuz lost and looked all over the web to see what i can do .
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have you consulted with doctors, audiologists, deaf organizations, etc.?

charlyssa said:
she failed other tests after that . i wanted her to be able to hear the things i can like music people tlaking . i am a single mother and got help from state to pay for hearing aids . my daughter kept throwing them off crying and screaming :(

i decided that hearing aids wuz not working for her so i got her implant . she was fine after getting implanted but when we turned it on the crying and screaming is worse . we turn it on about 3 months ago . i can not talk to her becuz she keeps throwing the parts off her head . im hurt becuz i want her to hear music and be able to talk to me

it make me frustrated i dont know what to do
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Have you considered that maybe hearing is just not part of her? she was born and raised as a deaf person... meaning she may have already adapted to deafness.

Since she's 2 years old now... it is fine that you try to pursue any other options but also at the same time, I believe both of you should learn ASL so that she can properly communicate her needs with you without throwing stuff and having a tantrum. At least both of you will have 2 communication tools - talking and signing and you can alternate back n' forth or at same time depending on scenario.

Communicating with her thru sign language is exactly same as talking to you. Eventually - you'll need to accept the fact that it is possible that your daughter does not want to regain hearing anymore because your self-denial will prevent your daughter from reaching her full potential. ASL is not very hard to learn. I learned it just a couple years ago and I advanced forward at rapid pace. Try going to deaf school for toddlers and talk to parents.

Good luck.
 
charlyssa said:
it make me frustrated i dont know what to do
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I will say this: the ability to hear is not essential for one to be happy, content, and successful in life. But what your daughter does need right now is language development. I strongly recommend learning sign language with your daughter so that she can have an expressive language, and the two of you will be able to communicate and bond. Even if she does adapt to the cochlear implants later on, the two of you will find sign language to be an invaluable (and at times even an essential) communication tool.

If you're worried about sign language stunting your daughter's ability to learn spoken language, don't be. No study has ever found learning sign language to be a detriment to a child's linguistic development. And in this case, sign language is the only language your daughter has a natural access to, and language development in any language is better than no language development at all.

As the father of a happy and energetic 5-year old Deaf son, I can say with some confidence that there's more to life than hearing, but it has taken commitment and a lot of hard work to turn our home into a bilingual English/ASL environment.
 
I apologize in advance if I am wrong, but.... I have a feeling that charlyssa isn't who she says she is.
 
why? i thought she is who she is. the words she used that i am under the impression.
 
Daredevel7 said:
I apologize in advance if I am wrong, but.... I have a feeling that charlyssa isn't who she says she is.
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that was my first suspicion. it's the only way to get'em rolling. you know who.
 
I am going to assume that you haven't even learned sign language to communicate with your child.

I would, just like any other time, suggest you to learn ASL and you two will be able to communicate with no issues.

Also I am Deaf - I've never heard music. When people ask me about it these days - I just tell them "I have no relations with music". I never was able to hear music so now I have no idea what I am missing. It does not bother me one bit. You should take that to heart.
 
Funny how these similar threads and situations are popping up. There are a couple of more that showed up in close proximity from "hearing people wanting to learn about deaf culture." And two more that I know of from "hearing parents of deaf children."

Can anyone else remember a time when we had 3 hearing parents all show up with similar situations in a 48 hour span. I mean, think about the number of children that are diagnosed with prelingual deafness, and the odds just don't add up mathematically. :hmm:
 
yes. I was going to say the same thing, about the 3 hearing parents of deaf kids. mm
 
Daredevel7 said:
I apologize in advance if I am wrong, but.... I have a feeling that charlyssa isn't who she says she is.
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It is becoming quite obvious that someone is either posting under different screen names, or has enlisted friends to join and post what they are told to post. Talk about disturbing and unbalanced behavior.:shock:

I am beginning to have some real concern for the well being and safety of a few children that could be under the care and influence of someone who would behave in such a way. If this continues in this way, I may have to start requesting wellness checks from the local authorities in the posters' area.:hmm:

And the spelling and grammar shortcuts in this OP are obviously contrived in an attempt to prevent any comparisons and recognition.
 
Amazing, too, how they seem so conveniently designed to play right into the little narrative some here love to tell of clueless hearing parents who either rush into CIs and 'cruelly force a deaf child into a hearing path' regardless of the crying and screaming of innocent children and didnt want to be told what to do by Deaf people or who have listened dutifully to godlike professionals but have a sense that they can still turn it around before too late if only some wise advisor to the Deaf might deign to provide guidance.

This nonsense has happened before and been sniffed out, shouldn't be too hard to crack down on.
 
jillio said:
And the spelling and grammar shortcuts in this OP are obviously contrived in an attempt to prevent any comparisons and recognition.
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EXACTLY. And they didn't do it very well, nor consistently.
 
Hello, its good you are getting info from both sides, pro and con. When I was 3 I lost my hearing and hated hearing aids.. it was due to the overwhelming sounds crammed in the hearing aids.. and it triggered ringing inside the head that are not real sounds. So of course I hid my pieces of hearing aids everywhere.. but eventually adapted to it.. but preferred the silence. My eyes became my hearing. I learned both sign Lang and speech. Its a hard world being stuck in middle. The most important thing is to give love and adjust to the kids abilities. Communication and understanding .. everybody is unique. Its a hard world out there. I understand your desire to give music. Sounds. Don't give up. Good Luck
 
Daredevel7 said:
EXACTLY. And they didn't do it very well, nor consistently.
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Right. This whole con going on here is so transparent as to be laughable. But a little disturbing that someone would go to such underhanded lengths.
 
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