what advice would you give a 13 year old girl and her mom?

hurleysrus

hurleysrus

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My daughter came home from school again in tears. She has SSD with a mild loss on her other side. In elementary school she had straight A's. Now in middle school she is struggling. She has all c's and one b. She is getting picked on because her word pronunciation is not 100%. She has all the accommodations the school is willing to provide, but I am at a loss how typo help her.
 
I would think it would mostly the other students , kids can be very horrible in middle school.
To the OP , you should made an appointment to talk to someone in school and let them your daughter been coming home crying. Schools are trying to stop kids from being bullied and you should made sure the teaches are stepping in to help your daughter . No child should be coming home from in tears. Does your school have a buddy system your daughter can use ? If not maybe you could see if there is any student willing to be your daughter's buddy. I would hope there would be at a few kids that are against bullying.
 
Talk to the teachers and this may sound harsh but tell your girl to not show how much its affecting her to the other students, of they dont see its bothering her than they will probabky stop. If not you will need ti take more drastix measures. And if she needs more support, ask the shcool for more. They say they can give you this much but if you ask for it and your girl needs it then they have to give the things to het. Go to school district if the shcool doesnt listen. And does she have friends? Cuz in situations like this its always nice to have a friend to support you.
 
(I asked because I have a friend whose teachers kept correcting his pronunciation whenever he talked to them, regardless of what he was trying to say, and then when he FINALLY got them to listen then brushed him off because they didn't want to deal with trying to struggle through a conversation with him.) If the teachers aren't listening to her, and you when you talk to them, take it higher up the line and keep going until you get the response you need. Also, keep track of to whom you talk and when (even if you don't reach the person, if you leave a voicemail or a message with a secretary write that down too), what was said and what their response was. It helps if you're going to the principal or school board and, instead of just saying you talked to some people and you're pretty sure they said X, Y, and Z, you can pull out documentation and give dates, the outcome, and how the problems weren't resolved.

As for what the school can do with the kids, giving them a talk about bullying at first. Maybe a class discussion about proper communication?
 
Thanks for all the advice so far, some I have tried, the rest I will try. I wish I could home school her. And as bad as it sound to say hopefully next year her good ear will not disqualify her from the Deaf school here
 
hurleysrus said:
Thanks for all the advice so far, some I have tried, the rest I will try. I wish I could home school her. And as bad as it sound to say hopefully next year her good ear will not disqualify her from the Deaf school here
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Regardless of whether or not she goes to the Deaf school, I'm hoping she ends up in a supportive environment that's going to help her grow (which, at this point, it sounds like the Deaf school's the better bet).
 
Middle school is the worst for any child that is different. Been there, done that. The deaf school is not always the answer....that school has enough of its own issues. Are you in the CSD, RCCSD, or BSD region? My daughter survived Kirk for 3 years without incident, however, she was picked on about her hair & skin color occasionally.

She goes to CHS now, and says that while there is often infighting amongst black girls there, it is not too bad overall.
 
I think educationally your daughter would be classified as HOH rather then SSD.....she's got loss in both ears....or is the mild loss relatively new? Mild loss still affects hearing and learning.....
That actually might lead to better services/programming for her....Schools think 'oh with SSD the kid just needs a minimal accmondations approach...whereas with a bilateral HOH label you've got meat to request more intense (ie deaf style)accomondations and services.
It's extremely common for dhh kids across the spectrum (ie from profound unaided to HOH and uses aids well) to start to REALLY struggle around 4th grade/middle/high school........
Are there regional programs in Delaware,or is it an either or state?(either inclusion or Deaf School) IMHO, HOH kids can generally strongly benifit from a regional program....it's got the benifit of teachers and Deaf programming but in a mainstream sitution...so they're not the only dhh kid at school.
I would contact Delaware School for the Deaf about possible programs, outreach etc etc etc......Heck, she may even decide to go there! I do think that the possibilty of Deaf School/program should ALWAYS be on the table as an option. A kid may decide they're fine in the mainstream....but its always nice to know that the option for Deaf School/program is there....KWIM?
http://delawarestatewideprograms.org/..Also might want to check out MSSD..http://www.gallaudet.edu/mssd.html..Any kid from any US state can attend....I know of a couple of orally sucessful CI kids who decided to attend and became very Deaf.....
Another really awesome option would be Deaf Camps where she could sharpen her ASL skills and become immersed in Deaf Culture...there's a PLETHORA of options......Christian camps, state deaf school programs,everything.....She might be REALLY interested in the Gally University program for dhh teens new to ASL etc...https://www.gallaudet.edu/summer_programs/youth_programs.htmlthere's also the NTID programs etc etc...http://www.ntid.rit.edu/outreach......ources/info_to_go/resources/summer_camps.html
Finally, if your daughter is interested there is an AMAZING hearing girl's camp in NH......the website does not do it justice. I'm a VERY proud alum.Still in touch with SO many of my camp friends...it's almost exactly like the feeling my friends who are res school alums feel for their schools......It was where I felt like i fit in for the first time...it was home....it's a old fashioned libral arts camp with swimming, crafts etc....the sense of love and family there is AMAZING....YMCA Camp Nokomis
 
hurleysrus said:
Thanks for all the advice so far, some I have tried, the rest I will try. I wish I could home school her. And as bad as it sound to say hopefully next year her good ear will not disqualify her from the Deaf school here
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She's got a mild loss.....bilateral kids(even if one ear is "just mild" and good HA users CAN generally opt for Deaf School.............and there's also MSSD!
 
The mild loss is 6 months new, and has helped get accommodations in school. We were told it will only get worse as her nerves are dying off. Thanks for the links, this is stuff I need. I am having a hard time finding local support but I will find it. I didn't know about summer camps but will deffinatly ( bad spelling) find one! :)
 
hurleysrus said:
The mild loss is 6 months new, and has helped get accommodations in school. We were told it will only get worse as her nerves are dying off. Thanks for the links, this is stuff I need. I am having a hard time finding local support but I will find it. I didn't know about summer camps but will deffinatly ( bad spelling) find one! :)
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One point that you REALLY should push is that you don't know how bad your daughter's loss will get.So you want to equipt her with ALL the tools possible!..I know a ton of HOH people who had progressive losses....Nobody really minded it getting worse...they just wish they'd had the skills (ie ASL etc) to cope with worse loss........I think Delaware is a really hardcore inclusion state....But maybe you could try to get a regional program going for middle/high school for dhh kids.......
 
I don't know what hardcore inclusion means but I know they told me its best for her to be as "normal as possible" for as long as possible. ( ergo, no asl unless privately paid for, which we started one month ago) I am working on the school and have been writing letters for months. I won't stop that even if she changes schools. Hopefully someone else will benefit.
 
hurleysrus said:
I don't know what hardcore inclusion means but I know they told me its best for her to be as "normal as possible" for as long as possible. ( ergo, no asl unless privately paid for, which we started one month ago) I am working on the school and have been writing letters for months. I won't stop that even if she changes schools. Hopefully someone else will benefit.
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Ugh I guess they don't realize that ASL IS normal, just not their version of normal.

It might be time for in-person action.
 
I had to get a hlaa advocate to go with me to get FM in her classrooms. The said it would call attention to her disability. HLAA has been helpful in getting the accommodations she has. The school just doesn't seem to take me seriously. They also helped me find the private instructor for the ASL since the school refused
 
hurleysrus said:
I had to get a hlaa advocate to go with me to get FM in her classrooms. The said it would call attention to her disability. HLAA has been helpful in getting the accommodations she has. The school just doesn't seem to take me seriously. They also helped me find the private instructor for the ASL since the school refused
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WHAT?!?!?!?! They SAID THAT?!?!?!? HOLY ....and it's 2013?!?!? I had the world's hardest time trying to get accomondations in elementary and high school,but even THEY gave me an FM (which I HATED)
Hardcore inclusion is basicly "oh we'll accept disabled kids but we won't give them a ton of accmondations,classes etc.......
 
deafdyke said:
WHAT?!?!?!?! They SAID THAT?!?!?!? HOLY ....and it's 2013?!?!? I had the world's hardest time trying to get accomondations in elementary and high school,but even THEY gave me an FM (which I HATED)
Hardcore inclusion is basicly "oh we'll accept disabled kids but we won't give them a ton of accmondations,classes etc.......
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Yes, and I was so mad I walked out and went straight to VR who referee me to HLAA. I've felt with my loss alone so I've been going blind through everything until recently, when I came online to find help for her. I was not aware of American Society for Deaf Children so thank you thank you thank you! I will be consulting with them now. I don't feel so hopeless now :aw:
 
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