Virgin Territory

gidget6kids

New Member
Joined
Sep 3, 2013
Messages
27
Reaction score
0
My son, adopted from Ethiopia, has recently told me that he "no hear out of that ear." I thought he was joking...well, he wasn't. I took him to the local health department for an initial screening. He failed his right ear and passed his left. She encouraged us to see an ENT.

I, then, took him to our local university and I had the "big" hearing test done. He, again, failed (tried up to 120 dB) his right ear and passed his left. She talked to me, briefly, about hearing aids and that traditional hearing aids will not work because he is "completely" deaf in that ear. She introduced me to the FM system. She said that he could hear fine and that no other interventions need to be considered. She said I should not think of him as deaf because he still has one good ear.

Next stop, ENT. We did another hearing test. He has no measurable hearing (tested at 120 dB) in his right ear and his left ear is "within normal limits". She spoke with me about the BAHA and the CROS hearing aid. She encouraged the hearing aid (we have another appt in the middle of Sept) and also possibly signing (my daughter is fluent because she loves it and I know enough to be dangerous).

So, I tell my family what is going on and I have one sister who is positive and is willing to learn basic sign, if that is the route I choose. Then, there is my mother....and my mother in law....I was told that if we choose the route of a hearing aid and sign language, then we would be "crippling" him. We would making a mountain out of a molehill. He successfully learned English, you don't even notice, so why bother with something that will make him stick out. (Like being a black boy in a very small white community doesn't already make him stick out...he is delicious by the way). Apparently, my cousin (now 50) is deaf in one ear and that is what their pediatrician told them. So, they ignored it and she is "fine", just can't hear in that ear.

So, now I'm conflicted.

Will I be doing him a disservice by going with the hearing aids and teaching him sign?

Should I just ignore it?

Is he really considered a deaf child?

Am I overreacting?

Any help would be appreciated!
 
Just follow your heart.

I think it's ok for him to learn ASL, wears hearing aids, and take a speech therapy. Some deaf kids do enjoy learning how to speak and listen without putting some pressures. NOT ME, I was a rebellious girl when it came to the speech therapy . LOL I strongly encourage you to start with him by learning ASL in order to communicate with you so you would know what is going on his mind.
Dont worry if you dont sign perfect but able to communicate with your son. It is all matter to him.
good luck
:)
 
A quite famous single sided deaf is Rob Lowe.

Mostly a single sided deaf person is a hearing person. No need to overreact.
 
I'd say he's mildly HOH....meaning educationally he may strongly benifit from stuff like front row seating,maybe use of an FM device and or hearing aids.
My best advice for intervention with FM and aids....Be child centered. Let him try the FM and or hearing aids,to see if he likes them...he may benifit....every kid is different.....
ASL might be benifical....there's always the possibilty he could lose more hearing as time goes on.I remember a parent from a deaf and HOH group who has a kid with unilateral loss who is going full toolbox.
 
Will I be doing him a disservice by going with the hearing aids and teaching him sign?
I don't think you'd be doing him a disservice. Your primary concern at his age should be setting him up to learn both socially and academically - even if the hearing aid helps him to know not what people are saying to his right side but IF people are talking to his right side, it could keep him better engaged in a conversation. Kids in grade school speak up through classes for participation - having tools to keep him up to speed if possible will be tools to help him succeed. Teaching him to sign - that could be useful at noisy locations when he can't fall back on using one good ear. It's not a necessity to learn it so prematurely, but it's not a bad idea whatsoever to start. Like @deafdyke said - you never know if the other side will start to fail on him in the future. Sometimes it could be as simple as filling in the gaps in a conversation he would have otherwise missed parts of. I say teach him ASL and don't think of hearing aids as a bad thing.

Should I just ignore it?
Know that he'll adapt - it's "his normal" even though it sounds stressful and abnormal to you. But he may grow up to identify as HOH or if it continues to deteriorate in his good side perhaps later Deaf - I think it means something that you recognize that it's something he's working against and give him any tool he can to succeed. Don't stereotype him as what WE all need but figure out what works best for him. If FM systems or anything you're considering doesn't work for him and doesn't help him, move on and figure out something that does.

Is he really considered a deaf child?
That's a personal label I think. For me I labeled myself as HOH when I still relied on my ears for communication, even if it was spotty and not so reliable. Once I transitioned into needing to use primarily visual cues to communicate (I couldn't understand enough with my eyes closed basically) I started to classify myself as deaf.

Am I overreacting?
Nope. He's your kid. My mom & dad did the same. They still do the same. My dad is halfway across the world and he still sends me articles about scientists growing ears out of ribcages and vague technology based emails about my HA/CI. But kids and people are resilient and he's probably much less stressed out about it than you are. Just ask him how he's doing and what he needs. If he wants to learn ASL encourage it. If he doesn't benefit from the HA don't force it.
 
I believe ASL is enabling him, not crippling him! I see this all too often, people think by embracing ASL they're crippling, disabling or whatever. How is learning a new language crippling someone? it's not... I learned ASL and it opened up a who new world to me... I know a lot of people it does that for. What will it hurt for him to learn ASL? One child already knows it, so hey it gives him a practice buddy! Plus, you don't know if the other ear could eventually follow... Nobody can predict that, it could but then it might not. ASL is a way to be sure he can always communicate. Not to mention, it's SO easy to teach children another language. It will be 10 fold harder for him later on in life. Also, again what's it hurting by teaching him ASL? He learns another way to communicate, becomes more educated, ect ect. He can still speak and learn ASL, it's not like you're telling him NO SPEAKING FOR YOU! ONLY USE ASL! =P He will still speak and develop as normally as you allow him to, you're just preparing him for a possibility. Yes, you shouldn't over-react, but I hardly think teaching a HoH child ASL is over-reacting.
 
Thank you all for your encouragement and knowledge. I began learning ASL when I was diagnosed with Meniere's Disease at 19. The prognosis was unknown, back then (21 yrs ago), so I didn't know what I was in for. Now, I have bilateral ringing, clogging, headaches, memory loss, blah blah blah. I recently got over my spell, which lasted for about 3 mths. It was awful. Not sure when or if I will ever lose my hearing.

It enabled me to work with my son (Boo) who had autistic tendencies and didn't speak until he was almost 4. In learning, my oldest picked it up and ran with it. She uses it way more than I do, but I'm starting up again.

I am just letting my mother get to me. I finally told her, yesterday, to drop it that we were doing what was best for our son. It may not be a popular choice, but neither was adopting him (back in the beginning of our adoption, she loves him dearly now).

We are unsure of the cause of his unilateral deafness because his history is unknown, therefore, we don't know what will happen with his left ear, over time. For now, we are treating it like gold. We were told by the audiologist that we should have a hearing test done a couple of times a year. She also said a "traditional" hearing aid would not work because he has no sound in that ear. That is why they encouraged the BAHA or the cros.

Again, I appreciate the knowledge and kindness shown to me!
 
No cochlear because insurance wouldn't cover it. Unilateral deafness is not considered worthy of a CI. The cros hearing aid is a small aid in the bad ear and it takes sound and sends it to the receiver in the good ear. The good ear will amplify the sound and make him aware of when people are talking or come up on his bad side.
 
Back
Top