Unable to retain information when given verbally

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jlk1528

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I am a hearing woman currently in a relationship with a hard of hearing man. He does not know ASL, has about 60% hearing loss, but can hear very well with hearing aids. He wasn't diagnosed until age 4 with hearing loss.
During our relationship I have noticed that he will clearly hear what I am saying, agree to what I am saying, even repeat the concept or point I was trying to get across but then days later repeat the same activity I was asking him to stop.
I am wondering if this is something that is common in the deaf world? Are there documented issues with retaining information when spoken verbally, not for lack of actually hearing, but due to the fact that the sense from lack of use may not tie back to the brain the same way as hearing people?
I am in not saying being deaf is less than but just am not sure if it is him as a person or a symptom of having hearing deficiencies.
Thanks for your support and help as I start to dive into this deaf world with him.
 
cant hear or not listening..are you saying because he asked you to repeat something and you do not want to repeat it,are you saying because of his hearing he got some sort of thinking or short attention span..could it be he just trying to reinforce something he missed first time...i not sure i understand give example
 
jlk1528 said:
I am a hearing woman currently in a relationship with a hard of hearing man. He does not know ASL, has about 60% hearing loss, but can hear very well with hearing aids. He wasn't diagnosed until age 4 with hearing loss.
During our relationship I have noticed that he will clearly hear what I am saying, agree to what I am saying, even repeat the concept or point I was trying to get across but then days later repeat the same activity I was asking him to stop.
I am wondering if this is something that is common in the deaf world? Are there documented issues with retaining information when spoken verbally, not for lack of actually hearing, but due to the fact that the sense from lack of use may not tie back to the brain the same way as hearing people?
I am in not saying being deaf is less than but just am not sure if it is him as a person or a symptom of having hearing deficiencies.
Thanks for your support and help as I start to dive into this deaf world with him.
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Your issue has nothing to do with being deaf, but with your desire to control the behavior of someone else.

That isn't ever going to work. You need to find someone who doesn't have behavior that clashes with your ideals.
 
I'm pretty sure this is normal. After all cats that I interact with have hard time retaining informations that I give them. You are not alone. You will be fine.
 
There are many examples but will give you all a simple one.

For example I have a food allergy. I have told him I am allergic to garlic, he has said back to me "Wow, garlic is in everything. Must be a tough allergy" But then on multiple occasions has cooked me food with garlic in it. Even after telling him again that I can't eat the food because it has garlic, he continue to cook with garlic and try to feed it to me.

I have no problem repeating something when he doesn't hear me properly and am always patient. I just wasn't sure if this behavior is not dialing properly back into his memory due to the fact that he might be hard of hearing.

Just wanted to gauge the replies on this thread to see if it was a common deaf behavior or just something that is specific to him as an individual.
 
Sounds like my boys at times....:giggle:...tell them something once...twice...3 times....and they are not HOH or deaf...

Dunno what to say...maybe post a sign over the Stove...."No Garlic in My Food"....and I've had to post a few signs in my home also....some people are just absent-minded I'm guessing....or they don't take what you say seriously....some just don't care....Aggravating I know. But when it comes down to food allergies....:hmm:...that's quite serious.
 
It sounds like he is simply unaware of what a food allergy is, and he is considering it as being a kind of picky eating, much like how sometimes children do not want to eat mushrooms or peas.

Perhaps you can try to tell him what will happen if you eat garlic, or you could offer to cook yourself, or refuse to eat his food / bring an alternative. My vegetarian friends often do this -- they will either offer to cook or bring a side dish that is safe for them in case dinner is going to be something they can't eat.
 
I have often seen where someone has some kind of passive aggressive thing going on. That kind of thing is the path to madness and the perp has a way of acting innocent like somehow it is you who is all messed up. They know they do this they are not innocent really they are a screaming pain in the behind. It is all about staying one up on you. I recommend that you piss in his shoes and not say a word about it. Most likely he will figure it out...
 
That's not a "deaf" thing. I have friends who have certain food allergies and I'm aware of it.

For him to keep trying to feed you garlic no matter how many times you've told him not to, it sounds like he has no regard for your health and isn't someone you should be with in the first place. What he's doing isn't because of his deafness, it's because of his ignorance.
 
I say it's a man thing. :giggle:

My soon to be exhusband is hearing and I can have conversations with him and he claim later I didn't tell him such and such, it's just that they're not really listening, in one ear and out the other.

No this isn't a really a man thing, I"m just convinced that some people have no regard for other people and don't bother to pay attention to what someone else is saying unless it has some interest to them. Apparently one of the things your boyfriend doesn't give two craps about is you have a food allergy. He just doesn't care so he doesn't remember.
 
:laugh2: yep its a man thing :laugh2: Figured somebody would say it..... so is genetics an excuse I can use from now on?

jlk I do agree with the other part of ambrosia's statement you should be upfront and ask if he cares or not. I was seeing a girl who knew I am allergic to some types of pet hair but would still bring her dog to bed. I like all dogs and can hang out with them just not for more then a couple hours. Anyway by the middle of the night I would be all stuffed up in my nose and itches on different places. She would get mad at me for keeping her awake. That and a few other things made realize she didn't care. And I quickly moved on. Not sure if these are the same but I figured I would let you have my experience then you can make your own decision.
 
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