Yea, I have thought about jealousy bit but not about "sucking up" to the hearing world (it never occurred for me to act that way). I always had the idea "if a shoe fits, put it on" if you know what I mean. It took me a long time to understand how difficult that is for most deaf HOH types to even function as a hearing type (and accepted as such) let alone the Deaf to do that. I paid my dues to join hearing society on their terms (not easy mind you). I count my blessings everyday...
We're cool gnu and thanks.
BTW - I can understand your need to sign and more power to you...each to their own.