When I was growing up I had apsolutely NO selfworth whatsoever. I think the self harming I did was probably an effort to control pain rather then because I enjoyed pain although I did find the physical pain better then the mental pain I was feeling.
As an adult I've stayed in a situation where I was suffering from Domestic violence. When I DID eventually leave it wasn't because of what was happening to me. I just didn't like the effect their behavior was having on Jilli and my other animal friends. Like when I got hit Jilli was shaking like a leaf.
Of course I wouldn't put up with anything like that now.
