stupid high school crushes. i feel like living in a nightmare

coolgirlspyer90

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SO, i had a crush on my section leader who is a senior. and throughout the fall season he has been helping me know my music and help me realize my mistakes when i played the wrong note or key. And i thought we would be good friends and he also has been fingerspelling to me where we are in the show. But throughout the season, we argued on the stupidest things in band i thought we would just move on with our lives and just forget about it. But he was stubborn enough to make me say it to him when i don't want to. We basically aruged alot. so up to this point this week [monday nov 23rd] he took me off of his friend list on facebook and my heart broke desperately. because it felt like he gave up on me and basically told me that hes not my friend anymore. and today was the first day of winter drumline practice and already, i did not want to go to practice and see my crush. I basically cried my eyes out because that hurt really bad. My mom told me that he was suppose to be section leader and show teamwork and unity of the front ensemble, and by doing that he's not being a very responsible section leader. But still it hurt. And i'm probably not going to be talking to him as much. But when winter season is done i'm probably going to be deleting his phone number when its not worth texting him anymore.

I don't know what to do. I thought i had everything worked out between us. Apparently not. And i feel like living under a dark cloud right now or living in an endless nightmare that isn't going to go away. I don't know if i should be glad that he's graduating this year or be upset or be mad or just something. I sended him another friend request. he declined it. which makes me feel super bad. and i just want to stay at home tomorrow and just cuddle in my bed and hold my stuffed animals and never leave my room.

Because in school in first period, i'm a facility assistant to the ASL teacher and my crush is in that first period class. And i don't know, but they're going to a computer lab to work on a project and i want to see if i can go to the band room and practice instead of being at the computer lab seeing my crush. because if i see him, i'm going to feel like i need to cry again. I had to make up a lie today because one of my friends in the hornline said that i looked like i was crying, but i told them that it was weather allergies and that my eyes were watering and itchy. but the truth was i was crying. i'm glad i have the week off. some of my friends cheered me up a little. but i'm still upset. Nothing is going right in my life right now.
 
You are in high school, this fella needs to take team work leadership like your mom said. The band must go on aside those issues.

Keep your chin up!
 
Aw girl! Don't be sad! Seriously, this guy needs to wake up! Don't EVER let a guy make you feel down. You go to your practice and show him you're a strong person. When he sees that confidence in you, it'll make him realize he was being stupid. Keep your chin up, focus on your work, and be proud :)

:hug:
 
I survived the first practice today in drumline. But i didn't talk to him at all. He asked me to do a few things i just nodded my head and didn't say anything to him and just did what he asked me to do so i don't make him anymore mad than he already is with me. He isn't replying to any of my texts. i just feel like my hope is lost. And my band director of the CJB asked me to do an article with Bands Of america and their program on Music for All [which idk if you have heard about that] about people with disabilities in marching bands. And he wanted me to do it. And they asked me a question that asks: "Who has has been important in helping you succeed, and what have they done for you?" the first thing that came on my mind was my crush and my pit technican because they were helping me the most. But now when i see that question again, I don't know about my crush anymore. I'm just really nervous and scared about going to first period tomorrow. But i'm hoping that i would avoid my crush so i don't have to feel bad. Right now i feel like escaping and just wanting to be free but with this dark cloud under my head, idk. It's going to be a really long healing process for me to get over it. Because i never really liked a guy this much before. especially one who is a senior. I need my life back. I need to go back to the girl that i was; who didn't care about love, didn't care about people who teased her and just do the things she love to do. But right now, I need to find myself again. Tomorrow i might ask the ASL teacher if i can go to the band room and practice on my marimba since i'm a Facility assistant in that class and just avoid my crush because if i see him, i'm going to cry and just embarrass myself. I tried to be strong today, I may look strong on the outside but inside i feel weak with a broken heart thats been shattered to the ground.
 
my name: Emily Collins
is deaf in from utah my utah school for the deaf and the blind my class breann and and go work maceys money save more will soon my boyfriend name:jason turner deaf wedding on may 7, 2010 start my ring soon...:)
 
well the way i see it you walready tried to patch things up, so the balls in his court... makes it easy, either he calls you back and everything is good. OR if he dosent he wasent worth it anyway. becasue if he will turn away from you for little things like that .. then thats not someone worth having by your side anyways. i graduated highchool 2 years ago and found that things dont usualy work out past highschool if your in different grades because one is introduced to different things and different people while your still in highschool with the same ole people.. my advice.. guys are like bus's if u miss one, there will always be a nother.. you just might have to wait out in the rain to catch it!, so cheer up and go on about life as if before this all happened :)
 
If he has ignored you, you should wait for a while so you can regain your relationship again. Just give him his space. One of my current friends used to ignore me two years ago, my sophmore year, for a while after I had declared my love to her. But then after a month or two we became friends again. That's right that high school loves usually don't last long. But maybe your love can last long. Besides, you are living in this world to do God like things, not to waste your time by these stuff - being depressed, sad and blah blah- which make the situation worse instead of making it better. :)
 
give him credit where credit is due. I know he hurt you, but if he was the reason for your music success, tell them your leader (and other people who helped as well) plus your own determination and leave it to that.


I hope you will feel better :(
 
Yea, that's a tough situation. I know that people probably tell you that high school crushes or relationships dont last forever but the pain is no fun, that's for sure. Only time can heal the pain and it will make you stronger. Pls dont let it affect the one thing you love; band.

Hang in there!
 
my name: Emily Collins
is deaf in from utah my utah school for the deaf and the blind my class breann and and go work maceys money save more will soon my boyfriend name:jason turner deaf wedding on may 7, 2010 start my ring soon...:)

:topic: But congratulation and good luck!
I am deaf and use to live in Utah for three years.
Nice to meet you. :wave:
 
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