Spanking for Trivial Reasons :(

I remember parents illegal on spank not inappropate, because serious parents abused to children I am experience against to abused on parents not allow on inappopriate trust it
many people upset! spank children!
 
Disturbing. And a good indication that what many parents say they do, and what they actually do, are two very different things.
 
I yell when I shouldn't and I redirect too much for sure. I'm one of those smothering moms sometimes...not all the time, but I have my moods. But spanking? Wtf would I hit my kid for?
 
Well perhaps Casey Anthony would have been better off spanking little Caylee instead of murdering her!
 
Yelling and redirecting because a parent is "in a mood" can be just as destructive. Parents should be able to put their moods aside when disciplining their children.
 
I try to think of it this way...I don't discipline my children...I teach them what is appropriate.
 
We used the "Love and Logic" approach. If the kids got into a fight, we made them each count to 10, then apologize. If they could not be civil, they went to their rooms and then had to write a letter of apology to the other. After about 3 times, you can bet, we don't have any fights anymore and haven't since they were at least 7 & 8.

I know my brothers and I always had the razor strop when we were growing up. They didn't pull it out often, but spanking was quite regular in my house when I was growing up. My oldest brother used no discipline at all and now with his kids at 20 & 24, it shows. The other brother was a strict parent like my father, but had alcohol problems, so now, both his kids at 24 & 18 refuse to have anything to do with him. Whereas my kids are very close and very open with me. They will talk with me about anything bothering them. My son actually came to me for help in dealing with an addiction problem of his. We worked it out and he's been free of it now for 2 years. He's only 16, but I am thankful he felt comfortable enough with me to ask for help with this type of problem. Since he is a user here on AD, I will not say what the issue was for his sake and privacy. Just know, it was not drugs, smoking or alcohol.
 
Kristina, you've done a great job with your kids, obviously. I like the "Love and Logic" approach.

We got spanked, but very, very rarely. This was back in the '50's and spanking was pretty common. What my mom was really famous for was the "rag-bag approach." When one of us kids just got so fightin' mad we really couldn't stand it, we were sent out to the back room to tear up rags (from old sheets and towels and such). Excellent use of excess energy, and my mom had the best rag supply of any housewife on the block. :lol:
 
KristinaB said:
We used the "Love and Logic" approach. If the kids got into a fight, we made them each count to 10, then apologize. If they could not be civil, they went to their rooms and then had to write a letter of apology to the other. After about 3 times, you can bet, we don't have any fights anymore and haven't since they were at least 7 & 8.

I know my brothers and I always had the razor strop when we were growing up. They didn't pull it out often, but spanking was quite regular in my house when I was growing up. My oldest brother used no discipline at all and now with his kids at 20 & 24, it shows. The other brother was a strict parent like my father, but had alcohol problems, so now, both his kids at 24 & 18 refuse to have anything to do with him. Whereas my kids are very close and very open with me. They will talk with me about anything bothering them. My son actually came to me for help in dealing with an addiction problem of his. We worked it out and he's been free of it now for 2 years. He's only 16, but I am thankful he felt comfortable enough with me to ask for help with this type of problem. Since he is a user here on AD, I will not say what the issue was for his sake and privacy. Just know, it was not drugs, smoking or alcohol.
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Excellent example. The spirit in which the punishment or instruction is given is as important as the punishment or instruction itself.
 
I grew up in a very abusive atmosphere...there was no spanking...it was a beating..wooden broom handle, razor strap, pieces of fire wood, buckle of the belt...basically, whatever could be found to hurt the most.

I remmy it very well...and I never resorted to this abuse myself....I did "fanny spank" when necessary, tho'. I found out that taking away their priviledges worked best for all concerned when it came down to punishment. Now, my boys are way bigger than I am...a "fanny spank" ain't gonna work! Taking away their Ipod, computer, video games...is the ultimate punishment for them.
 
Yes, I think some parents do punish the kids for trivial stuff. I saw it with my own eyes. A baby (6 mos or so) was scowling and her mom smacked her in the face. I thought that was really extreme. Maybe it is because I see facial expressions as part of the language. Why do some people get upset by a scowling face???
 
rockin'robin said:
I grew up in a very abusive atmosphere...there was no spanking...it was a beating..wooden broom handle, razor strap, pieces of fire wood, buckle of the belt...basically, whatever could be found to hurt the most.

I remmy it very well...and I never resorted to this abuse myself....I did "fanny spank" when necessary, tho'. I found out that taking away their priviledges worked best for all concerned when it came down to punishment. Now, my boys are way bigger than I am...a "fanny spank" ain't gonna work! Taking away their Ipod, computer, video games...is the ultimate punishment for them.
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I'm sorry you had to endure that. My dad was the same way...he knew no boundaries and often overdid it. I wince when I think about "spanking" but I do spank from time to time but like you said, it's really more of a "fanny spank." My oldest daughter only has been spanked twice in her life..once for kept playing with the oven door and she stopped after the spanking. The second time she was very out of control (which was extremely rare and kind of shocked me) because she wanted to keep playing with her cousin but it was time to go...I tried everything but nothing worked so spanking is always the last resort. And if I do it, I try to make sure I explain the reason for it and why I did it instead of the usual "time out" routine.

My second daughter is the "strong willed" one and sometimes a pat on the bottom is what she needs to be redirected. Even then, I don't like it because it triggers some memories of my Dad, as you mentioned about yours. Nonetheless, I know I am not abusing her and I only do it as needed. I've read tons of research that suggests that ongoing corporal punishment is psychologically harmful to children, especially in the long run. Something to think about.

Of course this article talks about spanking just because the parent is not in the mood to be patient...that's just abuse, plain and simple. And it happens often. Parents are stressed, tired, overwhelmed. But still...no excuses.
 
Buffalo said:
Yes, I think some parents do punish the kids for trivial stuff. I saw it with my own eyes. A baby (6 mos or so) was scowling and her mom smacked her in the face. I thought that was really extreme. Maybe it is because I see facial expressions as part of the language. Why do some people get upset by a scowling face???
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That mother is STUPID. A baby is incapable of understanding behavior. I hope someone smack that mother across the face. On a serious note, I'm genuinely concern for this child. A mother who doesn't understand even this should not be allowed to parent until she has some child development and parenting class...ASAP.
 
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