Deafdyke, in any relationship, clear communication is most important. With all the other issues aside, the two of you need to sit down during a non-emotional, non-threatening time in a neutral (not romantic) setting, and have a heart-to-heart discussion. That's the only way you will know for sure. The two of you need to be fully honest with each, and clearly define your feelings.
No one here can second guess her feelings or motivations. Only you know your own feelings and motivations. The only way to know is to ask. Break it down and ask. Ask what she meant, and what she was feeling. Ask her to define your relationship.
It might be uncomfortable, and the answers might hurt. But at least you will know, and you can rid yourself of this confusion.
If she doesn't want to have such a discussion then that could be your answer, too. If two people can't discuss their feelings for each other, then there isn't a good relationship there.
I hope you get the opportunity to get your answers. 
