Shy with hearing people?

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deafdyke

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Who here is shy with hearing people? I tend to be kinda introverted initally b/c of my voice....I got teased a hell of a lot about my voice when I was a kid, and I know that not everyone can understand my speech. Also quite a few hearing people are incredibily prejudicated about dhh people...what about you?
 
I'm not too shy if i the person speaks clearly and is easy to understand.But i think that i may be a bit shy in the way that i don't talk with people much and as a result i am pretty hopless at having a conversation with someone i don't know,like i don't know what to say !!! :dunno: People who i know well-no shyness at all .
 
Mc Gusto said:
But i think that i may be a bit shy in the way that i don't talk with people much and as a result i am pretty hopless at having a conversation with someone i don't know,like i don't know what to say !!! :dunno: People who i know well-no shyness at all .
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You're not the only one. I'm hearing, mid-forties and still won't walk up to someone I don't know and start chatting. Going back to school helped but didn't cure me. May never happen.
 
I am not shy to approve a hearing person nor a hearing person comes up to me, But it bugs me that some hearing people thinks that when they are talking to me while my back head is facing their front, They likely to think I am ignoring them. If someone was ignoring you, Would you think maybe this person is deaf or not? It would be more polite if they would tagged me and asked me instead of amusing that I'm ignoring them. There are times, I would have a hard time reading their lips, But the most part I dislike about them is when they recovered that you are deaf, they would say never mind. It's like don't you wanna try to communicate? :Ohno:
 
I've always been a shy one here when it comes to meeting people but not only to the hearing ones but anyone in general....

But I do get nervous when I talk to a hearing person cause I'm not sure if I'm speaking loud or too soft for them to hear me and when they don't understand me, that when my face starts to blush heh...
 
I am sometimes very embarrased by the fact that I am HOH and not because I think it's shameful not be able to hear.
but it pains me when people are looking at me "what's wrong this person" why is replying nonsense?"

It is unreasonable I know but this feeling of embarrassement is deeply rooted from growing up and seeying negative reaction to my hearing loss and even if now I can stand up and say- "scuze me I can't hear well" I am like -OMG what an embarrassing moment- inside..

I am not shy at all I will approach people if I need something but it's different when I am for example at a party and there are people I've never meet before.
Then I am dying from fear they'll talk to me and I won't know itand I'll look stupid and everybody will look at me...


It's awful.

Fuzzy
 
I'm very similar to Deafdyke, Cheri and Angel.

I can talk well with the people I know real well.. but to strangers, I get nervous. That goes for hearing AND deaf. To hearing, I hate the fact that I use my voice and being afraid of what they thought of it. Also.. as for deaf, I'm afraid they don't or won't understand my signs.
 
I am not shy with hearing people, because I am living in hearing world.
 
I am not shy to approach or talk to a hearing person. I only become shy when I am in a large group of hearing people cuz everyone is already chattering away and I hate having to distract anyone for a min to tell me what everyone is saying. I usually get a tight and nasueous feeling in my stomach in those situations.

One on one with hearing people is fine with me.
 
Why would I be shy to approch a hearing person? I'm not afraid to approch a hearing person or any other human being. I have a lot of self confeident in myself. I like chatting with hearing people, as matter of fact all of my friends are hearing... No problem with it at all! Once we're adults, you can't be depending on your parents or any other person that you wish for them to take care of things for you. This world is a huge ugly world full of cruel people out there. Learn how to deal with it, if they make fun of your language, then remember "what goes around will come around". I learn how to deal with it almost everyday, I learned that adults world is a lot different than teenager "world".. Most adults understand and don't judge as much as teens do. If the person doesn't understand what in the world your saying, then write it on paper, simple!! Some may copy a attitude towards you, some may not. Most people I've chatted have no problem with me at all.. May be a little different at first since they don't know or never been around a deaf/hard of hearing person. Give it time and before they know it they don't realize I'm deaf. Most of the time they forget we contuine to chat without a problem and still friends. Its all on you, one thing self confident!! Don't hide your language, use your voice, the more you use it, the better you will be. It's a hard process but I'm proudly and glad to use my voice instead of signing. I perfer to use my voice and I thank my mother for putting me thru this school that taught me how! If I personally was signing, I think I wouldn't be happy with it.. Yes I'm into hearing world than deaf culture. Hearing world there is more to learn from everyday! I know some of you guys aren't going to argee with me, well I honestly don't care if you do or not. Have a litte self respect then you might be suprise what you can do. But If your shy to approch a hearing person then it proves that you have low self-esteem and running from the problems.
 
RoyalMajesty said:
Why would I be shy to approch a hearing person? I'm not afraid to approch a hearing person or any other human being. I have a lot of self confeident in myself. I like chatting with hearing people, as matter of fact all of my friends are hearing... No problem with it at all! Once we're adults, you can't be depending on your parents or any other person that you wish for them to take care of things for you. This world is a huge ugly world full of cruel people out there. Learn how to deal with it, if they make fun of your language, then remember "what goes around will come around". I learn how to deal with it almost everyday, I learned that adults world is a lot different than teenager "world".. Most adults understand and don't judge as much as teens do. If the person doesn't understand what in the world your saying, then write it on paper, simple!! Some may copy a attitude towards you, some may not. Most people I've chatted have no problem with me at all.. May be a little different at first since they don't know or never been around a deaf/hard of hearing person. Give it time and before they know it they don't realize I'm deaf. Most of the time they forget we contuine to chat without a problem and still friends. Its all on you, one thing self confident!! Don't hide your language, use your voice, the more you use it, the better you will be. It's a hard process but I'm proudly and glad to use my voice instead of signing. I perfer to use my voice and I thank my mother for putting me thru this school that taught me how! If I personally was signing, I think I wouldn't be happy with it.. Yes I'm into hearing world than deaf culture. Hearing world there is more to learn from everyday! I know some of you guys aren't going to argee with me, well I honestly don't care if you do or not. Have a litte self respect then you might be suprise what you can do. But If your shy to approch a hearing person then it proves that you have low self-esteem and running from the problems.
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Sometimes people are shy in nature. It depends on personality more than self-esteem.
 
RoyalMajesty said:
Then they need to built their self esteem and have more confidence in themself!
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It is not as easy as it sounds and if some people are fine with being shy, then there is nothing wrong with that. I am a naturally shy person but I still go up to hearing people to ask for directions, help, or whatever. Just large groups that I become uncomfortable. It is not an issue of self-esteem with me. I am even like that in a large group of strange deaf people but less so than with hearing people.
 
shel90 said:
It is not as easy as it sounds and if some people are fine with being shy, then there is nothing wrong with that. I am a naturally shy person but I still go up to hearing people to ask for directions, help, or whatever. Just large groups that I become uncomfortable. It is not an issue of self-esteem with me. I am even like that in a large group of strange deaf people but less so than with hearing people.
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Well, like I said~ I know that some of you guys isn't going to agree but thats alright.. It's all good and you have your own point of veiw!! Everybody is different with answers!
 
I am shy with new people period and I am hearing. I am very out going with people I know which makes them not believe me when I say I am shy. I cannot start a conversation with some one I don’t know. If they are not good at conversation and I don’t know them the conversation goes no where. I feel very self conscious with people I don’t know. The problem with this is my best friend who is deaf is not shy to talk to any one at all, Deaf, HOH, hearing doesn’t matter. He will just walk up to some one and start talking. If they are hearing and don’t know sign, then I get dragged along for the ride! LOL I am very nervous to talk to new Deaf people, which I am meeting all the time with my Deaf friends. I don’t want to embarrass my friends, I don’t want the Deaf people who don’t know me to judge me, and my Deaf friends because of me. I know there is a lot I don’t know. I cannot understand some people’s sign because it is different. And I sign things wrong sometimes. What is funny is if they use their voice I can understand them well. When I met my BF for the first time and he spoke with me I understood him with no problem. He was like WOW this never happens some one understands me and has not needed to get used to how I talk. Other Deafie have done the same and are like, HEY HE UNDERSTOOD WHAT I SAID. I am very good with accents as it is, it is the same for me as some one with a Spanish accent. Or Russian, or German. I still understand them. My BF asked if a certain person uses their voice when signing to me. I said yeah why? He said wow she is really comfortable with you then. She rarely lets hearing people hear her voice. I think that is a shame really. It is too bad people would feel shy about their voice.
 
Also the D/HOH people that I have met who speak well, (their term), once they learn that I am hearing, they stop signing to me and only voice. Even though they know I sign. I sign my responses to them and they voice. And we may be at a party with only Deaf people which I thought was considered rude to voice and not sign. I don’t quite understand why they would do this but multiple people have done this and it happens quite often. Then if I see them again they don’t sign from the beginning and only voice. Again I don’t quite understand why they would do that other than they just like to voice or prefer it to signing. When I am with my Deaf friends and am at a party of all Deaf I would rather sign. And I would rather if other hearing people are there that they not know I am hearing. They latch on to me and follow me around for the entire party. I don’t get a chance to talk with my friends and mingle like I want to because I feel like I am baby sitting this hearing person. And I voice all day everyday. I don’t sign all day everyday so when I do I love it. I know the hearing person either doesn’t know sign or knows very little and feels left out but still. Maybe that is mean of me. I hate it when I walk in to a party and I hear, “can anyone who just walked in hear me”? there have been a few times when I almost didn’t answer.
 
Southern,

When I learned sign, I was told that it was impolite to use voice only when a Deaf person was in the room. I would think that it would be just as impolite for a Deaf person in a room full of Deaf people to only use voice and not sign as it would be for a hearing person to voice and not sign, but I could be completely wrong about that.

When I'm in a room with even *one* Deaf person, I always use voice and sign simultaneously.

Sometimes I do not know a Deaf person is in the room, but that would be the only circumstance where I wouldn't sign. However, if I suspect that a Deaf person may be in attendance (such as an informational seminar for people with disabilities), I will ask the person I'm with if there are any Deaf people in the room and use sign accordingly. I do that out of respect and courtesy because I know that if I were Deaf, I would appreciate others doing the same for me. :)
 
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