Serval Minnesota Jokes :P

[DeafSCUBA98]

You know you're from Minnesota when.....

1. Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor.

2. "Vacation" means going to Brainerd for the weekend.

3. You measure distance in hours.

4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once.

5. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.

6. You use a down comforter in the summer.

7. Your grandparents drive 65 mph through 13 feet of snow during a blizzard, without flinching.

8. You see people wearing hunting clothes to social events.

9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both doors unlocked.

10. You think of the major food groups as venison, walleye, and Leinenkugels.

11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.

12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at the grocery store at any given time.

13. You design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

15. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel p.j.'s.

16. You know all four seasons; almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.

17. It takes u 3 hours 2 go 2 the store for 1 item even when u'r in a rush because u have to stop to talk to every1 in town.

 

[AquaMaiden]

2. "Vacation" means going to Brainerd for the weekend.

Brainerd, MN is like my second home - everytime I'm back in Minnesota, I always go up to Brainerd. It's a cool quiet place with many towns nearby. Shibby hails from this town Love ya Shibby!

 

[DeafSCUBA98]

2. "Vacation" means going to Brainerd for the weekend.

Brainerd, MN is like my second home - everytime I'm back in Minnesota, I always go up to Brainerd. It's a cool quiet place with many towns nearby. Shibby hails from this town Love ya Shibby!

have shibby shown you the ironton school? i hope it's still there pretty creepy inside druing night..

Myself druing summer season.. i always go to ironton lake.. where the minepits are for scuba diving.. and skinny dippin swimming :P

 

[tekkmortal]

Here we have a redneck joke:

You Must Be A Redneck If
* You recycle your own toilet paper

* Your mom has to shave more times a month than your dad

* You see a bill board that says "Don't do crack" and it reminds you to pull up your pants.

* You stare at a carton of orange juice because it says "concentrate."

* Your bumper sticker reads: "One more Whore and We Get Gore."

* The nativity scene you set up in your yard at Christmas includes two pink flamingos and baby Jesus lying in a painted tire.

* Most of your teeth are on a chain around your neck.

* You hunt from your bedroom window.

* Your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade.

* You refrigerate your food stamps.

* You use a 10 penny nail to pick your teeth after a night of road kill.

* You have ever dressed your child as a "Snot-rag" for Halloween.

* Your idea of a loaded dishwasher is getting your wife drunk.

* You and your spouse get divorced and you are still relatives.

* You go to your local ice cream store and order Copenhagen "sprinkles" on your cone.

* You know instinctively that red wine goes with opossum.

* You're always looking to find your Mother-in-Law's picture on the back of a milk carton!

* The officer that just pulled you over asks if "you have any I.D."..and you respond "About whut?"

* You take a beer to a job interview.

* You are caught roll'n your trailer down the street to jump start the heater.

* When you finish eatin' your bologna you use the rind for dental floss.

* You go to Goodwill to meet women.

* You and your friends are putting an engine in a pickup, drinking beer, and the conversation is: Which county jail has the best food!

 

[AquaMaiden]

have shibby shown you the ironton school? i hope it's still there pretty creepy inside druing night..

Myself druing summer season.. i always go to ironton lake.. where the minepits are for scuba diving.. and skinny dippin swimming :P

You mean Riverton High School??

 

[sweetgal154]

nj jokes (at least i think its funny)

69 Ways to Tell You Are from New Jersey

69) You went to Seaside after your Senior Prom.

68) You watched "Mallrats" and said, "I've been to that mall!"

67) At least half of the people you went to high school with went to Rutgers .

66) You know where Jimmy Hoffa is buried.

65) You know where every "clip" shown in the Sopranos opening credits is.

64) You know that the state isn't one big oil refinery.

63) You know that the only people who call it "Joisey" are from New York (usually The Bronx ) or Texas .

62) You've planned a local trip around passing at least one Dunkin Donuts.

61) You do not think of citrus when people mention the " Oranges ."

60) You know that it's called "Great Adventure", not "Six Flags."
59) You actually know bakeries that are not part of a supermarket, but are individual stores.

58) You've ordered a "hard roll with butter" for breakfast.

57) You've eaten at that diner at 3 am at least a dozen times.

56) At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen, and you know what town Jon Bon Jovi is from.

55) You know that people from 609 area code are "a little different."

54) You always use at least 10 variation of "damn" while driving.

53) You don't have to go to Red Lobster to get fresh seafood.

52) You once said "It smells like New York in here."

51) You can go bowling at 1:30 am (w/ automatic scoring).

50) In high school, you knew someone who worked at a Friendly's or Stewart's.

49) The Garden State Parkway does not freak you out at night.

48) You know what a "jug handle" is.

47) You have mandatory recycling - enforced by law.

46) You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers.

45) You go to the boardwalk at least once a year.

44) You've pondered..."Maybe basketball would be more popular in NJ if the Nets weren't here."

43) You say the words "water", "coffee", "dog" and "whatever", like this "wadder", "cawfee", "dowg" and "wadever" (if you live down south NJ).

42) Even your high school cafeteria made good subs.

41) You've lived through hurricanes, nor'easters and brushfires, but you have never seen a tornado, earthquake, tsunami or volcano.

40) You can't believe that MTV went to Seaside Heights .

39) You know that ACME is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros. creation.

38) You only go to NYC for day trips and you call it “the city”.

37) You've run out of money on the Parkway, but now love using EZ-Pass.

36) You're Italian.

35) You know where to get a great bagel.

34) You think Perkins is terrible and should have never opened any restaurants here.

33) You have had sex on the beach (not the drink).

32) You have a favorite Atlantic City casino.

31) The Jet/Giants game has started fights at your local bar.

30) Your car is covered with yellow-green dust in April and May.

29) You can't understand why there aren't any 24 hour diners in the rest of the country.

28) You live within 25 minutes of at least 3 different malls.

27) You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton - that's for out-of-staters.

26) You can see the NYC skyline from some part of your town.

25) You don't think the "What exit" (do you live near?) joke is very funny.

24) You've seen or been in a fight over the Rangers and Devils.

23) You have, or know someone who has, Mafia connections.

22) You're related to someone who think the NY Jets and NY Giants should be the New Jersey Jets and the New Jersey Giants. Plus you can't stand when people say the Meadowland are in New York. (DMB t-shirts!)

21) You have at least one friend who drives a truck.

20) You've been camping.

19) You've been in a city or town where Spanish is spoken more than English.

18) You can't remember when Clifton didn't win a softball championship.

17) You know where to gets drugs in Trenton , Paterson , Newark or New York .

16) You've been to a party in the woods.

15) You've purchased fireworks in Chinatown .

14) You know that this is the only "New..." state that doesn't require "New" to identify it (like, try ...Mexico, ...York, ...Hampshire (doesn't work, does it?).

13) You liked the Jets, even before Bill Parcells.

12) You know where to get a fresh Taylor ham, egg and cheese at 2 am .

11) You don't take no crap from no one.

10) You remember Action Park and may have been seriously injured there.

9) At sometime you got on the wrong highway while trying to leave Willowbrook Mall.

8) You know that there are no "beaches" in new Jersey - there's "The Shore," and you know that the road to the shore is "The Parkway" not "The Garden State Highway."

7) Anything less than 3 inches of snow isn't worth your time.

6) Someone on the road cut you off and you used at least four swear words to tell them what you thought.

5) You think people from South Jersey talk funny.

4) You know that a WaWa is a convenience store.

3) You know that you are paying hell of a lot in car insurance!

2) You know that the real first "strip shopping center" in the country is Route 22.

1.75) If you live in Bergen County, you are totally surprised when you see stores (other that gas and supermarkets) open on Sundays!

1.5) You know that the Statue of Liberty IS IN New Jersey and not New York!

1.25) You know out-of-staters call NJ the "arm pit" of America and you make an even better joke about their state!

1) You've never pumped your own gas.

 

[DeafSCUBA98]

You mean Riverton High School??

couldn't remember the name of the school... but that school is long gone... closed.. and inside the buliding is damaged stuffs. have some giraffis painted on walls, gym titles all around broken parts, broken water fountain.. broken walls, stairs.. etc..

some of my brainerd friends say.. they have seen ghost in that school... so i went in took a look druing day.. some bats... bleh... creppy if u look around druing night.. perfect place for haunted house