Script help needed

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Southern

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Hello everyone. Could you read the below script and let me know if it is correct ASL grammar? It is my first attempt at ASL grammar so I am sure there are some mistakes. This is a short script. THANKS!!!!! :ty: :ty:

M: Me know you how?

J: Don't know. Your name what?

M: Me name (spell name). College you go where?

J: FCCJ.... ASL class maybe.

L: Yes me know you sign name (Feast) Right?

J: Yes

L: Me met you in lab before.

J: Right, but your name me forgot.

L: Me name (spell name)

M: We meet before? (to L)

L: Maybe. Teacher "R M" ASL class you take?

M: Yes.

J: OIC We take class same teacher.

L: "Feast" you Deaf right?

J: Yes late Deaf.

M: ASL class you take why?

J: Late Deaf go FSDB not.

M: Become interpreter me want! ASL 2 Both take? (to j and L)

J: Yes learn more me need.

L: Time none. Work must continue.

J: Sorry. Change schedule can't?

L: Can't.

M: Almost forgot gift card me need!

L: Birthday soon?

M: Yes my sister.... Working here you start when?

L: Month J-U-L-Y

M: You like you?

L: No. Me hate.

J: Sorry. Prefer Do-do?

L: School full time {i think something else should be here}

M: But school pay bills not!

L: Me can dream!!

M &
J: True!

M: Major what?

L: Nurse

J: Help people you like?

L: Yes if pay same great!

M: Money you like!!!

J: Added benifit {sentence i am unsure about}

M: Maybe return school 1 day?

L: After my wife finish school.

J: Support your wife mean you good man.

M: "Feast" you graduate when?

J: Few years.... "L" your wife graduate when?

L: Next year.

M: ME SAME!!! EXCITED!!!

J: Good for you!

L: Okay gift card here, again see you good!

J: We maybe stop line. (to M)

M: Okay, again see you (both) good.

L &
J: Same!!
 
im no way an expert on ASL grammar, if you would like my opinion on how i would sign that conversation, here it is...if not...ignore this post :o)

M: Me know you how?

J: Don't know. Your name what?
instead of signing "what" here, i would simply ask their name with a puzzled expression.

M: Me name (spell name). College you go where?
i dont know why, but "college you go where" bothers me, seems like i would ask specific rather than general. Such as saying, "me name ,me go FCCJ"

J: FCCJ.... ASL class maybe.

L: Yes me know you sign name (Feast) Right?
too much "me", i would sign "ahh(Y bouncing) sign name (feast) right, with brows raised."

J: Yes

L: Me met you in lab before.
again, dont see the need for "me" here. i would say "before meet lab?" though this could be way off

J: Right, but your name me forgot.
i dont think you need to say you forgot here, just simply ask their name. "right, your name?"

L: Me name (spell name)
dont think you would need to repeat above, already established that they asked your name, tho many people do this. one thing you can do, is seperate your first and last name, "(fingerspell first name)sign "last name"(figerspell last name) I think often because they tend to say "my name" when they introduce themselves, if they jump straight to their name they get thrown off and have to think for a second.

M: We meet before? (to L)
instead of signing "we" you could sign "before (me and you) finished meet" written down here it seems backasswards, but in asl it makes sense, time, person, place.

L: Maybe. Teacher "R M" ASL class you take?
i would eliminate "you take"

M: Yes.

J: OIC We take class same teacher.
ive never seen anyone sign OIC, but if its a local thing go with it. i would also say simply "ahh, same class right.

L: "Feast" you Deaf right?
no need for a sign name here, simply point

J: Yes late Deaf.

M: ASL class you take why?
again, i would eliminate "you take"

J: Late Deaf go FSDB not.
i would simply put here that you grew up hearing. Really i don't know why this is here anyway, you already explained you were late deafened, they should figure out you grew up hearing. However, if this did happen, just say "grow up hearing" ("you" being the speaker of this sentence, not you southern)

M: Become interpreter me want! ASL 2 Both take? (to j and L)
perhaps im lazy, but i would just say "me want interpret. (you two) both asl 2?

J: Yes learn more me need.

L: Time none. Work must continue.
i would simply say "time none. Work. (shrug shoulders)

J: Sorry. Change schedule can't?

L: Can't.

M: Almost forgot gift card me need!
heh, here i would sign "shit(not poop, the "ahh shit" sign) forgot gift certificate for my sister, birthday soon("certificate" looks better than "card" imo.)

L: Birthday soon?
eliminate

M: Yes my sister.... Working here you start when?
see above

L: Month J-U-L-Y
dunno why you sign "month" never seen that, simply fingerspell it.

M: You like you?
heh, ive seen this a bunch in text books, but never seen anyone actually use it, i think its a myth or something. Simply sign "like" with a puzzled expression.

L: No. Me hate.
i would eliminate "me" "hate" changes to "awful" same sign.

J: Sorry. Prefer Do-do?
you could do this, i would say "prefer what" shaking hands, not the finger down the opposite hand.

L: School full time {i think something else should be here}
this personally looks fine, you could drop "full time" if you want

M: But school pay bills not!
ive never been a fan of "not" at the end, feels like a bad joke. wether its grammatically correct or not i dunno, i dont see it tho.

L: Me can dream!!
would drop the "me"

M &
J: True!

M: Major what?

L: Nurse

J: Help people you like?

L: Yes if pay same great!
im assuming this is ASL great, not english great....same as wonderful...please dont sign english great. heh

M: Money you like!!!

J: Added benifit {sentence i am unsure about}
i would say "money good same(too)"

M: Maybe return school 1 day?
ive never seen a sign for "return", i would use "back", maybe back school later?

L: After my wife finish school.

J: Support your wife mean you good man.

M: "Feast" you graduate when?
again, point here.

J: Few years.... "L" your wife graduate when?
if you personally know his wife, then i would do her sign name, drop "your wife", he knows who she is heh, if you dont know her, and he told you, i would simply say "your wife" thats me tho.

L: Next year.

M: ME SAME!!! EXCITED!!!

J: Good for you!
clap

L: Okay gift card here, again see you good!
if they are with you, they saw card arrive, would say "ok need go, good see you two"

J: We maybe stop line. (to M)
no clue what this sentence means....

M: Okay, again see you (both) good.
i would say "again good see you, take care"


now realize, i learned SEE first, then picked up ASL from the Deaf community, so this may not all be gramatically correct, but i think it flows better as a conversation, and will seem less "start and stop, jerky". if any of this is wrong, by all means correct me, i was extremely bored at work and had nothing better to do :o)
 
Thanks!
I sign PSE and a lot of the things I do I picked up from the Deaf community too. I wouldn’t sign, “you name what?” I would just sign, “name” with a questioning look. That is how I have always seen it done. Some of how I wrote these sentences is how the Professor and the book do it. I think a lot of it is unnecessary. I am in ASL 1 right now though and they probably don’t want to confuse the students with some things. The amount of signs I know puts me at ASL 4, but there is still so much I don’t know. OIC is Oh I see, same as aahhh as you have said before. This is a script for class that has to last 3 to 5 minutes so I agree some of the sentences can be dropped but for time’s sake, (meaning I am trying to eat it up) I have to keep them. “Not” at the end does seem strange to me as well but that is “proper” ASL grammar. I have not seen it used that way but I think that all my friends sign PSE for my benefit so that it is easier for me to understand. If I was signing this in real life and not a script I would drop quite a bit. But I am there to learn so I will do it how it is taught, (my teacher is Deaf btw). I heard she had a student a while back that was constantly saying, “oh that is not how it is done, I have never seen it like that, that’s wrong!” I am not going to be that kind of student.
 
My version! I did my best to stay within ASL and signed through the WHOLE thing (including bodyshift for different ppl):

M: Wave(attention catching)Hey! Know you how?

J: Don't know. You name what?

M: (spell name). You college where?

J: FCCJ.... ASL class maybe.

L: Yes (pah!) know you! Sign name (Feast) Right?

J: Yes

L: Yeah! Meet in Sign lab before.

J: Right, name forgot. (question hands/expression here)

L: (spell name)

M: We meet before? (to L)

L: Maybe. Teacher "R M" ASL class you finish?

M: Yes.

J: OIC Same class same teacher.

L: "Feast" you Deaf yes?

J: Yes late Deaf.

M: ASL class you take why?

J: Late Deaf go FSDB not.

M: Myself Become interpreter want! ASL 2 you-two will? (to j and L)

J: Yes learn more need.

L: Time none. Work continue must.

J: Sorry. Change schedule can't?

L: Can't.

M: Forgot! Card need me!

L: (For) Birthday?

M: Yes sister mine.... Working here start when?

L: J-U-L-Y

M: Like here?

L: No. Hate-awful.

J: Sorry (or pity). Prefer Do-do?

L: School full time prefer.

M: School no money gives!

L: Dream can!!

M &
J: True!

M: Major/study what?

L: Nurse

J: Help people like you?

L: Yes if pay great!

M: Like Money!!! (smirky knowing face)

J: Pocket-money yes like

M: Maybe school again future?

L: Wife finish school first yes.

J: Support your wife. Nice you.

M: "Feast" - graduate when?

J: Few years.... "L" wife graduate when?

L: Next year.

M: SAME ME!!! EXCITED!!!

J: Good for you!

L: Okay find card, good see-you good!

J: We maybe stop line. (to M)

M: Okay, enjoy see you (both).

L &
J: Same!!
 
This is something I'm not good at. I've never liked the grammar structure of ASL because it's what causes a lot of deaf students to get behind in school. :(
 
Ariakkas said:
iL: Month J-U-L-Y
dunno why you sign "month" never seen that, simply fingerspell it.
Click to expand...

This is something they teach in ITPs (at least in mine and I've seen other interpreters do it), but I think it's for more formal circumstances. The idea is that in simultaneous interpreting, it's easier for the deaf client to follow the lecture if, when the speaker says "In July I started dancing..." (or whatever) if you sign "MONTH J-U-L-Y" to give context to the upcoming fingerspelled word. Similarly, when someone says "In 1862, Abraham Lincoln..." we are taught to sign "YEAR 18-62."

Just thought I'd mention it. In casual conversation, though, I don't do this and I don't usually see deaf people do it, so probably for this script you're right and it's better to leave out "MONTH." I've seen it more frequently with "YEAR" overall anyway.
 
Yay well i am not too far off for my first time ever with ASL grammar.

I have seen my friends sign "month" before they spell the month name. That is where i saw it first. I don't remmy if it was in class or not. I have always done it. (LOL "always" i just started learning ASL the last week of July i said that like i have been signing for years! LOL)
 
Ariakkas said:
im no way an expert on ASL grammar, if you would like my opinion on how i would sign that conversation, here it is...if not...ignore this post :o)

M: Me know you how?

J: Don't know. Your name what?
instead of signing "what" here, i would simply ask their name with a puzzled expression.

M: Me name (spell name). College you go where?
i dont know why, but "college you go where" bothers me, seems like i would ask specific rather than general. Such as saying, "me name ,me go FCCJ"

J: FCCJ.... ASL class maybe.

L: Yes me know you sign name (Feast) Right?
too much "me", i would sign "ahh(Y bouncing) sign name (feast) right, with brows raised."

J: Yes

L: Me met you in lab before.
again, dont see the need for "me" here. i would say "before meet lab?" though this could be way off

J: Right, but your name me forgot.
i dont think you need to say you forgot here, just simply ask their name. "right, your name?"

L: Me name (spell name)
dont think you would need to repeat above, already established that they asked your name, tho many people do this. one thing you can do, is seperate your first and last name, "(fingerspell first name)sign "last name"(figerspell last name) I think often because they tend to say "my name" when they introduce themselves, if they jump straight to their name they get thrown off and have to think for a second.

M: We meet before? (to L)
instead of signing "we" you could sign "before (me and you) finished meet" written down here it seems backasswards, but in asl it makes sense, time, person, place.

L: Maybe. Teacher "R M" ASL class you take?
i would eliminate "you take"

M: Yes.

J: OIC We take class same teacher.
ive never seen anyone sign OIC, but if its a local thing go with it. i would also say simply "ahh, same class right.

L: "Feast" you Deaf right?
no need for a sign name here, simply point

J: Yes late Deaf.

M: ASL class you take why?
again, i would eliminate "you take"

J: Late Deaf go FSDB not.
i would simply put here that you grew up hearing. Really i don't know why this is here anyway, you already explained you were late deafened, they should figure out you grew up hearing. However, if this did happen, just say "grow up hearing" ("you" being the speaker of this sentence, not you southern)

M: Become interpreter me want! ASL 2 Both take? (to j and L)
perhaps im lazy, but i would just say "me want interpret. (you two) both asl 2?

J: Yes learn more me need.

L: Time none. Work must continue.
i would simply say "time none. Work. (shrug shoulders)

J: Sorry. Change schedule can't?

L: Can't.

M: Almost forgot gift card me need!
heh, here i would sign "shit(not poop, the "ahh shit" sign) forgot gift certificate for my sister, birthday soon("certificate" looks better than "card" imo.)

L: Birthday soon?
eliminate

M: Yes my sister.... Working here you start when?
see above

L: Month J-U-L-Y
dunno why you sign "month" never seen that, simply fingerspell it.

M: You like you?
heh, ive seen this a bunch in text books, but never seen anyone actually use it, i think its a myth or something. Simply sign "like" with a puzzled expression.

L: No. Me hate.
i would eliminate "me" "hate" changes to "awful" same sign.

J: Sorry. Prefer Do-do?
you could do this, i would say "prefer what" shaking hands, not the finger down the opposite hand.

L: School full time {i think something else should be here}
this personally looks fine, you could drop "full time" if you want

M: But school pay bills not!
ive never been a fan of "not" at the end, feels like a bad joke. wether its grammatically correct or not i dunno, i dont see it tho.

L: Me can dream!!
would drop the "me"

M &
J: True!

M: Major what?

L: Nurse

J: Help people you like?

L: Yes if pay same great!
im assuming this is ASL great, not english great....same as wonderful...please dont sign english great. heh

M: Money you like!!!

J: Added benifit {sentence i am unsure about}
i would say "money good same(too)"

M: Maybe return school 1 day?
ive never seen a sign for "return", i would use "back", maybe back school later?

L: After my wife finish school.

J: Support your wife mean you good man.

M: "Feast" you graduate when?
again, point here.

J: Few years.... "L" your wife graduate when?
if you personally know his wife, then i would do her sign name, drop "your wife", he knows who she is heh, if you dont know her, and he told you, i would simply say "your wife" thats me tho.

L: Next year.

M: ME SAME!!! EXCITED!!!

J: Good for you!
clap

L: Okay gift card here, again see you good!
if they are with you, they saw card arrive, would say "ok need go, good see you two"

J: We maybe stop line. (to M)
no clue what this sentence means....

M: Okay, again see you (both) good.
i would say "again good see you, take care"


now realize, i learned SEE first, then picked up ASL from the Deaf community, so this may not all be gramatically correct, but i think it flows better as a conversation, and will seem less "start and stop, jerky". if any of this is wrong, by all means correct me, i was extremely bored at work and had nothing better to do :o)
Click to expand...

Just my opinion, but that looks great (ASL wonderful!) to me. I personally learned ASL from the Deaf community first, then PSE when my son started school, because that is what the interpreter in the mainstream used. If you are using ASL grammar structure the way you learned it in the Deaf community, it is more likely to be correct than the ASL grammar used by hearing instructors.
 
Well we preformed the script last night. I'll find out next week how i did and let you all know.
Thanks everyone for your input!! =)
 
VamPyroX said:
This is something I'm not good at. I've never liked the grammar structure of ASL because it's what causes a lot of deaf students to get behind in school. :(
Click to expand...

UMMM...if that's the case then why so many deaf children of deaf parents excel in reading and writing?

It is the access to the language during the child's first 5 years that makes the difference not the structure of ASL.
 
shel90 said:
UMMM...if that's the case then why so many deaf children of deaf parents excel in reading and writing?

It is the access to the language during the child's first 5 years that makes the difference not the structure of ASL.
Click to expand...

Thank you, shel.:ty: That seems to be so hard for some people to understand.
 
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