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Yeah Merrilee.. I did think about some stuff a few months after mom was disagonised with the cancer and I knew I might have to sell the farm and move and stuff... I have kept that in my mind for months and etc and also after my dad passed away last week I knew my time on the farm will be over before the end of this year anyways as I dont know if I could stay here on the farm for much longer and I want to move to the city to get a job and settle down and move on with the next chapter of my life, but one problem remain for me, that is my mom in the town hospital.. as long as mom is alive, I wont go anywhere or sell the farm till it is final...all I care is my mom and how she is doing healthwise and I want her to find peace finally and join my dad together... so all I can do is wait and be patient and understanding and more.... *sigh*