The problem is... some people take offense to what you nonchalantly coin as "calling a spade a spade", and some don't. There's no way to know who will be offended, or who won't... so I think some folks (myself included) will opt for finding terminology that isn't found offensive. I disagree with your assertion that this is done to make *me* feel better. I do it out of a desire to respect the other person, and treat them as I would like to be treated (ie., with respect).
I think it unfair to bash people who are only trying to be inoffensive. While it's true that the things that people say only have as much power to hurt us as we let them... the fact is, words DO have power - whether it's the power to inspire, to comfort, to incite, to denigrate, etc. When given the option, I choose not to offend. LOL, I'm sorry if you find that offensive. 
