People's Flaws

I

IceCream

Guest
Let's not be rude in this thread. I just want everyone's honest opinion.

There was this guy at my previous work that flirted with me. He is older than I, and he looks nice. The problem is that he has bad teeth. I am not talking about white and croocked teeth or protruded teeth. I am talking about someone who likely needs to replace his teeth. He was embarrassed by it. Since I am deaf, I noticed he'd talk quick and not really open his mouth much. He was cute, but the idea of bad teeth (TO BE REAL HONEST) grosses me out. It's real sad, but my feelings about it is just as real. Some women will be like, "why are you so mean? you consceited (spelling?) girl. you're not all that yourself!! it's about the inside not the outside!!" blah blah blah. I know they are real people just like me and everyone, but but but.....?

I am just being real honest, and I know a lot of people are this way. I think of my grandparents who lost a lot of their teeth younger also, but they are people who did something about their problem. I know it's expensive to fix teeth, but my grandparents weren't exactly rich themselves either--it's hard for me to understand why they would worry about money and put it off. To me teeth health is supposed to be cared for just like your own body. If you need an operation, you wouldn't put it off because you have no money, right? So it's real weird.

I didn't care to flirt with him sometimes. I am not a total flirt. I am a mild flirt, but I am careful not to so much, so that they do not get the message that I want them when I clearly don't.

I guess what I am asking is how can someone tell me I am selfish and stuck-up for not liking someone because of bad teeth? How am I stuck up? It's just so weird. I can't even think of kissing someone with bad teeth. I know couples from like Extreme Makeover that the wives had bad teeth, and still had their husbands. I am sure they got used to each other, but I just don't really get it...I really don't. I don't think the Extreme Makeover was bad like the other guy I am talking about.

Opinions? Tell me of a similar story you've come across like this with someone of a different flaw or same one. I really don't mean to offend anyone with bad teeth who may be reading this. When you look at him phisically you cannot tell that he has bad teeth. My family would kill me if they saw me with him. They'd be talking about it and grilling me. Anyway, I agree it's real sad when they get rejected because of people like me, but it's a real issue!
 
well, you are not being selfish. Some of us are senstive with certain things. Same with me before I met my husband. I was very picky about men. I dont like many certains things about men. if somebody have this flaw. i would be turn off so fast even if this person is very very nice!!! i dont know why either.. you are not the only one. I guess its because sometime people have senstive thing that bothers them... ???

well when i met my husband. there were some flaws.. come to a surprise i fell HARD for him. I overlook his flaws. maybe he is the not the one u really fell hard for? its all about the feeling attracts you felt strongly with a certain person.. you will overlook the flaw eventually.
 
Yeah, as I get older I become more relaxed about men's physical. I think I got it from my mother who expect perfect men for me, and I told that when she likes someone for me, it doesn't mean I like them at all. They may be hot or nice, but I have no feelings for them whatsoever. Moms think they know a good man for their daughter or son. They don't know that our feelings is what really counts. I really get what you mean. I think you must like them to get beyond their flaws.
 
Yea I did overlook with my date the other day but I didnt care about it. I had a great time with him and will continue to see him again no matter what his flaw is/are. :P

I just enjoy being with him that all that matter to me. :D
 
Ice Cream,

If you don't mind, are you wealthy enough ?

I recalled Demi Moore used to have a terrible teeth
before she became a movie star she got her teeth
fixed they are so beautiful bright white perfect teeth
I saw before and after pictures.

Can you afford to take this guy to the dentist and
get his whole teeth renovated completely with
a touch of whitening bleach ??
Then, you would want to be with him and his
new white teeth !!

PROBLEM: There will be more women going after him
with his new white teeth. You will have
another different kind of battles fighting off
these women going after him Grrrrrr

I can NOT tolerate that kind of battle/competition. Eeek.

Of course, I do have some flaws, but if the guy
accept the way I am... no matter what.. then
that's Wonderful...

There was a Deaf guy from Austin Texas
(he is my deaf brother's Good friend)
whom I always LOVE his conversational style
We both chatted, laughed joked for many hours blah blah
for many years ...

This deaf Austin guy seem little Short only
about 5' 4" height and
then after dinner he pulled off his T-shirt
he showed me how much he had little beer belly
sticked out almost like pregnant

He wanted to know if it bothered me
but I told him NO NO NO !
I actually like his little beer belly
which seem like the cutest flaw !!!

Then he warned me that he will have
a bald hair soon in a few years
I told him
"So What !! I always love him and
his humorous conversational style"
no matter if he will get bald or not...

Unfortunately, he does still have 2 GF
going after him clawing/holding onto him tightly.....
These 2 GF still competing against
each other and they're still fighting
over him for years !!!! Eeeek

I am NOT the kind of person going
after him ONLY because I can NOT stand
any fighting competition with these 2 GF
Grrrrrrrrr Eeeek

P.S. If he happen to see/read this, then
he will find out who I am and he will know
it's about him haha LOL
 
I honestly don't think you were being selfish or totally stuck-up just cause you dislike something about the person, as far for a bad teeth, most of us deafness usually read the person's lips in order to understand what they're saying, so if you were to live like this by going out or dating him, then it will get to the point where you feel a bit gross in the inside, when you don't want to feel that way but you can't help it....


I know some people feel a bit gross for those who are overweight, but to me, it never bother me is because I don't look at them from the outside, normally I look at them from the inside but comparing to someone's teeth being that gross enough to look at it every time when a person speaks, that's gonna to be hard, but then again part of me would feel bad for that person because maybe they don't have enough money to get their teeth done, and for that I would understand and at least only go within the heart then worry about someone's teeth...That's just me :dunno:


There are many many people who are stuggle or may dislike the way they look and it does bring saddness in them because they feel there's no hope to be someone who is soo beautiful and there are times when I walk by and seeing others staring at someone because of their looks or for them being overweight , and they make dirty looks on their faces or mock at them, and that's pissed me off, cause why does it matter what people look on the outside etc, some people can be so cruel and don't think for a second how it is hurting that person's feelings...
 
IC - It sounds like you're being taught by your family to be more superficial than necessary. You rely too much on them for their approval of your dates. That's bad, IMO. THOUGH.. There's nothing wrong about being honest about what you are attracted to.. just imagine if you can live with the same guy with the same flaw forever.

My husband has terrible teeth, but it doesnt bother me. He has a lot of bad fillings that he has to get replaced along with some teeth needing root canal. Now it's just a few habits I personally think are very unattractive for him to have... like picking his nose in front of his family. I never let him touch me afterwards, though. Tissue... HELLO? :lol:
 
Y-no, I am not rich, which is why I don't get it!! I really do think some people just don't know how important it is to care for your teeth like your body. It's like getting a Pap Smear. I know some people are terrified of the dentist. It's just weird to me. I never associated keeping teeth in good condition with money. I also understand that if I were to talk him to the dentist, then maybe other women might want him. It sounds selfish to want a man with a certain flaw to keep other women away.

Liza-I understand what you're saying. I am battling to break off my family's approval for things in life. I have gotten better, but I am working on it. I did ask if I was like that because of my family, but I am honestly turned off by his bad teeth. However, if I really liked someone plus he and I like each other, then I will stay no matter what regardless of my family's approval (if there is any disapproval).

Thanks for everyone's response.
 
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