Parent's role

Do you beleive

  • the kids copy their parent's bad or good role

    Votes: 9 60.0%
  • Depend on the kid's decision

    Votes: 6 40.0%

  • Total voters
    15

Liebling:-)))

Sussi *7.7.86 - 18.6.09*
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Do you beleive the kids copy their parent's bad or good role or depend on kids's decision?


Come to share your discussion with us...
 
I vote: Depend on kids's decision.


I have never tried drugs in my life....
I only drink during special occassion... My sons do watch us drink glass of wine on & off during evening when we watch good movies on the TV. Of course, my hubby do drink beer sometimes in our house. We alway brought our sons to travel with us etc....

I have a good job, house & garden.

I don´t beleive to be "prefect parents" but I know for the sure that I´m good mother to my sons. I raise my sons into right way. I want all is to give my sons my love & respect & want to see them happy & satafisy.

I spent most of time is chat with my sons.... respond their questions....
discussion.... share the opinions.... Take care of their future education... share our holiday plan etc.

My mother is an alcoholic & My father is a gambler... I did looked up to them but I don´t want to learn to be like them.

I did look my friends´s parents to see how good they are etc & want to be like them, not my parents. I also watch on TV to see how lovely family is etc. I alway said when I was a little girl that "I will be good mother to my children & want to have a loving family... Now I am...

That´s how I learn from them because I had the feeling that my friends´s parents are the better one.

The children had the feeling when they look their parents or their friends´s parents & can decide themselves what they like.

Just depend how they feel. My 2 siblings & I didn´t learn from our parents but only my one year younger sister.
 
My daughter is very independent, she does her own things such as whatever comes to her mind, she'll do it. She doesn't think twice before doing anything. That's nothing compared to the way I am. She loves sports just like I do. I believe being involved in sports helps discipline her in reality. As for me at home.. she does really well.. I have my days when I struggle with her. She's sooo stubborn like her mommy. I think she's a better kid than most kids (her friends).

Yesterday, my daughter asked me where her pink purse was and I told her I haven't seen in for awhile now. She said her friend, Reanna, took her purse. So I asked Reanna if she took my daughter's purse, she said no. My daughter said it looked exactly like hers. So, I asked Reanna where she got her purse. She said she got it from her cousin. I decided to go over to her mom's house and ask her mom where she got the purse. Reanna freaked out and said it was my daughter's. I was like.. WTF ( I didn't say that to her, Just in my mind) I asked her why do you steal??? She said my daughter always have the best of everything. I told her that wasn't true and its sooo wrong to steal! I told her if you want to borrow, at least ask! Don't steal things from my daughter. She said she was sorry. I told her that wasn't the first time it happened. My daughter told her that God is watching and He doesn't like bad things. She was like... I'm sorry I'm sorry..

My point in this is that my kid does a good job knowing what's right and wrong. She's not perfect.. she's done small bad things but compare to what her friends are doing. Her friends are hitting their parents, yelling at them, giving attitudes.. etc..

I was amazed how the parents just let them do that. My daughter WILL NOT DO THOSE THINGS TO ME!!! She's given me attitudes several times, I would have a talk with her.

So, I know I'm a good mother. My fiance is a good father too. He discipline differently than I do. He grounds her when she makes bad grades or give him the shoulder or not listening.. he would ground her for 3 days.. I think its good for him to do it that way cuz I think I hurt too much when I do it. So he does the job. It helps!
 
I didn't vote, because, I think it can be both ways. For instance, my parents had two children. Myself, and my sister who's three and a half years younger than me. My parents smoked when we were young, but quit when I was 13, and my sis 10. My sister and I were both raised with the same values my parents had. As we grew up, though, we took different paths. I was the more compliant one. I pretty much did what I was told to do. On the other hand, my sister was more rebellious. She did as she pleased regardless of the consequences. Now, sis and I are in our thirties, and guess what? She smokes and I don't.

I asked my sister one day why she smoked, and she said to me..."I saw Mom and Dad do it when we were young." This made me think. "Do our parents really influence us?" Some times, I think they do, but than, sometimes I don't think so, either. I think it really depends on the person.
 
i have a god daughter, she is 7 yrs old now... she was 3 and half yrs old, she learned from her own mom, wrong things so i started god mother to her, i teach her how right thing... not wrong thing... so she learned better from me, she dont learn from her mom alike cuss, or wrong things... she stopped, better now.. whew.. i havent see her cuss since while, i told her that cuss are not good idea to say that... now she is angel girl... smile..
 
Yes you are a very good mother RebelGirl :hug:

It's depends on how it may influences your children, for example, if there's was an agrument going on in front of them, and hearing both parents screaming at one another, it can cause the child to more likely respond in a way their parents are responding to each others...Some children intend to follow their parents in a way they think it's the right way to do it.....

Like for myself, I was in a marriage where an abused was happening in the householder, when my oldest son always has to be the one getting in the middle of it, and it effect each of the children in the household, it's a possible that it can influence a child to become one when they grow up, cause of the things they see or hear.... I worry about my children alot, and sometimes I see my oldest son throw a temper once in a while, it does scare me but instead of thinking he may become one, I start to step in, and had a long talk with him, I told him when hes feeling angry about something, always walk away and let yourself cool down because once you let your anger control you, you might do something by hurting yourself or the person around you, I also told him sometimes I get angry at things, I take a deep breath and start over again by handle the situation in more calmer way....It happens sometimes, but sometimes you got to step in as a parents to make sure your children doesn't follow your footsteps by going into the wrong direction....

Sometimes parents makes mistakes and they dont think twice if it may influences their own children, I must admit I do make tons of mistakes, and I look back at them which I could have done better by handling the situations whatever it may be....
 
I do not allow let my children decision.. will over you power.. forget it..
I'd rather displince my children and make sure flexible with children help feedback w/parent what the best rules and blah blah.. To Remind them right or wrong thing.. etc etc

Yes.. Our children did looked up us.. sometimes agrue.. (wish shouldn't show front of kids) wait til kids gone out or bedroom.. So we can talk discuss debate.. doesn't want show our kids.. but likely wow..
My older son didn't raise like his real Dad wow.. strong bloodroots as real Dad's behavouir.. Damn him.. but we are patience displince him as well but my son went too far.. (long story)

My daughter extactly alike me.. *Talk back* whoa.. remind me when I was teenager and used to be rebel.. (sigh)... I have to careful w/her and try help her flexible.. understanding.. she is short fuse temper.. that normal.. simlair alike O.D.D. *groan*

Last son.. Easy ongoing but sometime verbal talk.. I told him Don't do that I dislike your word which wrong! He said ohh.. My older brother told me is okay! *rolls* Thanks to my older son.. *mumbling*
btw He is simlair my hubby's repluation and attudies.. wow only obession GAME and play his friends.. extactly likely him.. Really quite gave me easy way to go...
 
I don't wanna be like my mom or dad.

My dad was a high school dropout and a drunk and smoke.

And my mom is so self centered.
 
Miss*Pinocchio said:
I don't wanna be like my mom or dad.

My dad was a high school dropout and a drunk and smoke.

And my mom is so self centered.

kid's decision :cool:
 
wow, interesting... thank you for post on my thread... but one thing, I would like to make bit clear - I guess I didn't make clear in my previous post...

Do you copy your parent's role?

What you had an experience for look up at your own parents's role?

That's what I mean in my previous post... Yes, I guess I didn't make clear in first place. I mentioned about my parents how/why I didn't copy them but decide myself.

I don't know either my children copy their parents or not... Wait and see... example like what OB mentioned in her post.

^Angel^, I can understand where you come from but I beleive that your children know that abuse in household is not acceptance since you DIVORCE their father. It would be bad if you stay married to abusive husband then your kids might follow him because they thought abuse is okay to you. They know now it's not okay to women who have abusive husbands in household.
 
Liebling said:
^Angel^, I can understand where you come from but I beleive that your children know that abuse in household is not acceptance since you DIVORCE their father. It would be bad if you stay married to abusive husband then your kids might follow him because they thought abuse is okay to you. They know now it's not okay to women who have abusive husbands in household.


Thank you! :aw:
 
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