Parenting Classes needed for deaf father of two hearingabled teenage acting out boys

[Socialworker]

I am a social worker in Southern California and am struggling to find a parenting class for a deaf father who has two teenage children that are contstantly acting out. Does anyone know of a resource that I might be able to tap in to for this father?

 

[Kaitin]

Maybe CODA, **********ing, ***********s, Gallly page?

Preview is weird and I can't fix. The links don't work also. Google search for deaf parents and deaf parenting to find Yahoo groups will probably list these. Sorry.

 

[jillio]

I am a social worker in Southern California and am struggling to find a parenting class for a deaf father who has two teenage children that are contstantly acting out. Does anyone know of a resource that I might be able to tap in to for this father?

He can attend any parenting class that your hearing clients would attend. He simply needs a terp for the classes. And it might not hurt to look for resources for counseling for the hearing kids that are acting out. They have their own issues to deal with.

 

[R2D2]

He can attend any parenting class that your hearing clients would attend. He simply needs a terp for the classes. And it might not hurt to look for resources for counseling for the hearing kids that are acting out. They have their own issues to deal with.

Agree with Jillio. He probably can attend the same courses as your other clients but with the support of an interpreter if he signs or a notetaker/CART if he doesn't.

A good course for parenting teenagers might be PET - parental effectiveness training. It teaches parents how to open up the lines of communication particularly with those who are at the acting out stage.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Like what Jillo says is correct.

Provide the interpeter for deaf parents to any parental conference, meeting, evening, classes, etc.

 

[lovingmikayla]

I do not agree that the deaf parent should be able to take classes with hearing parents, even if he has an interpreter. It puts the deaf parent on the spot when he or she does not understand something, simply due to the interpreter maybe not interpreting a concept adequately or the concept being foreign to the deaf parent. I wholeheartedly support separate classes for deaf parents with deaf instructors or very skilled interpreters in an environment where the deaf parents fill comfortable interrupting the class or where the class can proceed at a pace suitable for appropriate communications to the benefit of the deaf parents. We are in the process of forming an organization that specifically recognizes this need which will offer the same. Having raised a deaf daughter who has two children (ages 4 and 9) and who has deaf friends who are also parents, I know too well the negatives of combining these deaf parents with hearing parents. Our main goal will be to build up the self-esteem in these parents so that they have the knowledge and confidence to not only raise happy children (deaf or hearing), but also be able to advocate for their own children also. Depending on a hearing friend or family member, to me based on my experience, is not always the right answer. Just my opinion. And of course if there is nothing else available, I am sure the deaf father would benefit something from being integrated with hearing parents. Something is better than nothing.

 

[jillio]

I do not agree that the deaf parent should be able to take classes with hearing parents, even if he has an interpreter. It puts the deaf parent on the spot when he or she does not understand something, simply due to the interpreter maybe not interpreting a concept adequately or the concept being foreign to the deaf parent. I wholeheartedly support separate classes for deaf parents with deaf instructors or very skilled interpreters in an environment where the deaf parents fill comfortable interrupting the class or where the class can proceed at a pace suitable for appropriate communications to the benefit of the deaf parents. We are in the process of forming an organization that specifically recognizes this need which will offer the same. Having raised a deaf daughter who has two children (ages 4 and 9) and who has deaf friends who are also parents, I know too well the negatives of combining these deaf parents with hearing parents. Our main goal will be to build up the self-esteem in these parents so that they have the knowledge and confidence to not only raise happy children (deaf or hearing), but also be able to advocate for their own children also. Depending on a hearing friend or family member, to me based on my experience, is not always the right answer. Just my opinion. And of course if there is nothing else available, I am sure the deaf father would benefit something from being integrated with hearing parents. Something is better than nothing.

As a counselor, I respectfully disagree. Parenting issues are parenting issues. The parenting skills needed by hearing parents are the same skills needed by deaf/Deaf parents. And using a professional terp means that communication would be facilitated. This is far different than depending on a friend or family member to terp. An integrated setting also allows for the deaf individual to see and understand that hearing parents deal with the same issues, and allows the hearing parents to see that the deaf are people much like themselves except for hearing ability. This, in and of itself increases self esteem.

 

[lovingmikayla]

No disrespect to your title, but I don't agree with you based on my experience with my daughter and her other deaf friends who are parents. I can see intergrating only after the deaf parents have a basic foundation in parenting skills which integration would be a positive way for deaf parents and hearing parents to learn from each other. I don't care how professional the interpreter is, there is a lot more involved than just having a professional interpreter. There are different cultures and languages even amongst different communities of deaf people and there are even different needs based on whether or not the deaf parent has a deaf child or a hearing child. I am sorry, deaf parents and hearing parents are not the same and do not interact with their children (especially hearing children) the same primarily because of the need to communicate in a different language (not the inability to hear) so their hearing children have two worlds to deal with -- the parent's deaf world and the outside hearing world. While I am not a professional interpreter, I did interpret for 13 years in a religious environment and the multitude of deaf people who came through our organization varied extremely, even in communication styles -- they did not all use ASL, the language that most professional interpreters train in. Having a professional interpreter does not mean the EFFECTIVE communication will be facilitated. And it is not fair to the hearing parents nor the deaf parents integrated in a class to have the conflict of having to pace the class according to the special communications needs of the deaf parents. Every deaf person does not lipread and every deaf person does not use ASL -- there are deaf parents who may not do either. So I guess my summary of all of this is that more has to be taken into consideration before a decision is made whether or not to put deaf parents in an integrated class with hearing parents in the beginning of a program that teaches parenting skills. Again, I can see a part of the program having sessions where both are integrated, as you said, so all the parents can see the similarities they share as parents and the differences. Finally, not all children are alike and there are different parenting issues to handle different children.

 

[jillio]

No disrespect to your title, but I don't agree with you based on my experience with my daughter and her other deaf friends who are parents. I can see intergrating only after the deaf parents have a basic foundation in parenting skills which integration would be a positive way for deaf parents and hearing parents to learn from each other. I don't care how professional the interpreter is, there is a lot more involved than just having a professional interpreter. There are different cultures and languages even amongst different communities of deaf people and there are even different needs based on whether or not the deaf parent has a deaf child or a hearing child. I am sorry, deaf parents and hearing parents are not the same and do not interact with their children (especially hearing children) the same primarily because of the need to communicate in a different language (not the inability to hear) so their hearing children have two worlds to deal with -- the parent's deaf world and the outside hearing world. While I am not a professional interpreter, I did interpret for 13 years in a religious environment and the multitude of deaf people who came through our organization varied extremely, even in communication styles -- they did not all use ASL, the language that most professional interpreters train in.

Professional terps adjust their interpreting style to match the need of the client. If a client uses ASL, then the terp will interpret using ASL. If a deaf person uses PSE, then the terp will utilize PSE. And a professional terp is well aware of the implication of cultural differences, which is why they interpret using concept. Problem solved.

I am alaso the mother of a deaf son, and parenting my son was not so different than parenting a hearing child, communication issues aside. The child's emotional, psychological, and disciplinary needs are consistent irregardless of hearing status, and the parents need to effectively address those needs are consistent irregardless of hearing status. Those needs can be addressed in sign or speech. We are not discussing the communication modality, but the need of a parent to develop basic parenting skills that will adress specific behavioral difficulties. The techniques for doing so are consistent. Those techniques can be effectiively taught in an integrated setting. To separate the deaf parent from the hearing parent based on hearing status is discriminatory, and delivers the message that the deaf parent is less cvapable of raising their child than is the hearing parent. This is a destructive and negative message to deliver to the parent and to the child.

 

[lovingmikayla]

I hope we can politely agree that we have the right to disagree. It is obvious that no one arrangement fits every parenting need in the deaf community. The bottom line, to me, is whatever fits for whatever individual is the road that should be taken...no concrete or inflexible plan should be adopted. As you have a deaf son, I raised a deaf daughter who is now 30 years old and has two children ... the oldest being 9 (both hearing). She is and her friends PREFER having separate classes under the program we have started. She sits on the board of this organization. But I am glad I was able to read your comments because you made a very valid point about both hearing and deaf parents being integrated for the purpose of learning from each other. We will adopt this aspect somewhere in our program, probably under a social umbrellas, but the basic parenting skills training will be for deaf only, specifically those deaf parents who desire to have deaf only classes. I am really enjoying your comments as I do most posting opportunities...it helps us come out of our boxes and adopt ideas that we never had before.

 

[Reba]

I do not agree that the deaf parent should be able to take classes with hearing parents, even if he has an interpreter. It puts the deaf parent on the spot when he or she does not understand something, simply due to the interpreter maybe not interpreting a concept adequately or the concept being foreign to the deaf parent.

There are professional interpreters who specialize in mental health settings. They will interpret the concepts correctly.

If the concept is foreign to the parent, the parent can request clarification. I'm sure that there are counseling concepts that are "foreign" to hearing parents also.

I wholeheartedly support separate classes for deaf parents with deaf instructors or very skilled interpreters in an environment where the deaf parents fill comfortable interrupting the class or where the class can proceed at a pace suitable for appropriate communications to the benefit of the deaf parents. We are in the process of forming an organization that specifically recognizes this need which will offer the same.

So how long should the deaf parents wait until such an organization can be up and running? What if there are never enough deaf parents who have that need at the same time? Will those who need help be told to be patient until they have enough deaf clients to make it worthwhile?

... Depending on a hearing friend or family member, to me based on my experience, is not always the right answer.

That's why professional interpreters should be used.

Just my opinion. And of course if there is nothing else available, I am sure the deaf father would benefit something from being integrated with hearing parents. Something is better than nothing.

Maybe it would be good for the father to see that hearing parents aren't perfect either.

 

[Reba]

... I don't care how professional the interpreter is, there is a lot more involved than just having a professional interpreter. There are different cultures and languages even amongst different communities of deaf people and there are even different needs based on whether or not the deaf parent has a deaf child or a hearing child.

A professional interpreter is not just a language broker; a professional interpreter understands and is sensitive to Deaf culture and communities in addition to being flexible on the language continuum.

... While I am not a professional interpreter, I did interpret for 13 years in a religious environment and the multitude of deaf people who came through our organization varied extremely, even in communication styles -- they did not all use ASL, the language that most professional interpreters train in. Having a professional interpreter does not mean the EFFECTIVE communication will be facilitated.

I don't want to get personal or be offensive but I've worn both hats--professional interpreter, and church interpreter--and I love doing both. However, I've know some church interpreters who've been in that position every week for 20 years or more, and are nowhere close to being professional. It may surprise you to know that most ITPs include signed English system training in their programs. As a professional interpreter, there are assignments I've done where I've swung back and forth on the signing continuum with the greatest of ease.

If "Having a professional interpreter does not mean the EFFECTIVE communication will be facilitated" then the whole definition of professional interpreter is out the window. That is exactly what a qualified professional interpreter is supposed to do.

And it is not fair to the hearing parents nor the deaf parents integrated in a class to have the conflict of having to pace the class according to the special communications needs of the deaf parents. Every deaf person does not lipread and every deaf person does not use ASL -- there are deaf parents who may not do either.

Have you asked any of the parents involved for their feelings about this?

 

[jillio]

There are professional interpreters who specialize in mental health settings. They will interpret the concepts correctly.

If the concept is foreign to the parent, the parent can request clarification. I'm sure that there are counseling concepts that are "foreign" to hearing parents also.



So how long should the deaf parents wait until such an organization can be up and running? What if there are never enough deaf parents who have that need at the same time? Will those who need help be told to be patient until they have enough deaf clients to make it worthwhile?



That's why professional interpreters should be used.



Maybe it would be good for the father to see that hearing parents aren't perfect either.

Thank you, Reba. Exactly the points I was making.

 

[jillio]

I hope we can politely agree that we have the right to disagree. It is obvious that no one arrangement fits every parenting need in the deaf community. The bottom line, to me, is whatever fits for whatever individual is the road that should be taken...no concrete or inflexible plan should be adopted. As you have a deaf son, I raised a deaf daughter who is now 30 years old and has two children ... the oldest being 9 (both hearing). She is and her friends PREFER having separate classes under the program we have started. She sits on the board of this organization. But I am glad I was able to read your comments because you made a very valid point about both hearing and deaf parents being integrated for the purpose of learning from each other. We will adopt this aspect somewhere in our program, probably under a social umbrellas, but the basic parenting skills training will be for deaf only, specifically those deaf parents who desire to have deaf only classes. I am really enjoying your comments as I do most posting opportunities...it helps us come out of our boxes and adopt ideas that we never had before.

Another valid reason for integrated settings is that for the deaf parent raising a hearing child, there is no better person to consult than a hearing person who has been a hearing child. For the hearing parent raising a deaf child, the same would hold true: thier greatest resource is a deaf adult who has grown up as a deaf child. Those perspectives are the one that need to be shared, and this sharing can only take place in an fully integrated setting.

 

[shel90]

There are professional interpreters who specialize in mental health settings. They will interpret the concepts correctly.

If the concept is foreign to the parent, the parent can request clarification. I'm sure that there are counseling concepts that are "foreign" to hearing parents also.



So how long should the deaf parents wait until such an organization can be up and running? What if there are never enough deaf parents who have that need at the same time? Will those who need help be told to be patient until they have enough deaf clients to make it worthwhile?



That's why professional interpreters should be used.



Maybe it would be good for the father to see that hearing parents aren't perfect either.

I thought the same thing, Reba. It wouldnt be fair to us, deaf people, to have more limited times to choose from due to the small number of deaf people or having to drive far away for a class because there is not enough deaf participates at a nearby center. No thanks..I am not paying more gas just because I am deaf.

If there is already a class with deaf people only nearby or at convienent times, then maybe I would choose that class over a class full of hearing parents. However, if there is none available, oh I will want to go to a class with mainly hearing parents.