It's okay man, no offense taken at all.
Gregory House and the Heath Leder joker are my lead role models, I would be lying thru my teeth if I said I didn't try to imitate them from time to time, and I strive to work my own way of their brilliance. Hopefully some of the rest of the stuff on around the forum will get you back on track.
I've heard and can supplement to what you say, shampoo and soap contain stuff that may damage your hair over prolonged use, varying from person to person. But H2O is too basic of a solution to rid of the excess natural oils, so you need like a medium middleman compound. Basically anything that is acidic in chemistry, will "offset" natural oils so that it becomes more of a heterogeneous solution - you'll see the fat/oils "on top" of acid solutions, like Italian salad dressing. So generally, something of an acid base would be more likely to be accepted as a solution. However, not TOO acidic to the point it damages your scalp or hair follicle.
I would wonder, how stuff like White Zinfandel would fare as a hair wash?
