Need help and some advices.

W

WhisperHorse

New Member
Joined
Dec 23, 2004
Messages
7,697
Reaction score
1
Since all of you guys know that I'm a single mother of my daughter, Alexanderia who is 10 months old today. I just feel bad when I look at her since she raised since she born without having a father in her life. I already decided to finally contact with her father somehow he won't respond me back even, I tried to talk with his best friend to having him to talk to me. They refused. I just felt like it's not fair for my daughter. It even pissed me off when I saw a picture of him and his son, I was like how dare you do that to your own daughter?! I know that he doubt in me that Alexaxnderia is his, why can't he just take dna test to prove me that he's not father? Or whatever like that. :roll: So... I felt like that Im a horrible mother for not having him in Alexanderia's life. Half of me don't want him to be because he walked out on me during I was only around 3 months pregnancy and made Sequoias to being there thru with me and for me whenever I need someone to. I thank Sequoias for that but, Ryan... He's jerk for doing that to me. Even his family don't know that they have another baby in their life. Im not sure what I should to do since I don't want to lose Alexanderia to him. :| Also other reason; I don't know if my mom would help me with that things because we might can't afford the lawyer and everything like that. Also my mom knows that I can make it without any men or Ryan. I understand that I don't need Ryan but Alexanderia might need her father, you know. Hmm, not sure what to do at all.

So, please help and give any advices. Thank you.
 
Go to the Child Support enforcement office. He will have to pay child support. It may make him consider a DNA and prove he is the father. If he is the father then he will have to pay for the Court Cost, DNA testing, and child support.

You do not have to have a lawyer, because the Child support enforcement will represent you.
 
First off:

I felt like that Im a horrible mother for not having him in Alexanderia's life.
Click to expand...

Don't think you are a bad mother because you are a GOOD mother!!!!! He is the one who decided to give up on you and his daughter... don't ever think that you are the *problem*, because that is not true!

You are right, if he doubts his fatherhood why not do a DNA test? Because he is a chicken and afraid to take over responsibility! *sad*!!!!

Everybody also has different point of views when it comes to allowance the father actually owes you and your daughter. I once had a friend in the same situation and she decided not to go after it. It's not like she had plenty of money but still enough to support herself and her son. But that is still up to you what you want to persue and if you have the strenght to fight for it, because it won't be easy!

Just don't blame yourself and don't talk negatively over Alexis' father no matter what to her. I know it's difficult to go through (after what you have gone through) but none of this is Alexis' fault. One day she will figure it out or not...

big :hug: Jamie
 
Unwilling father is pointless, but do go legal route to make sure Alexis well supported for her childhood (payments of some sort) if that what you wish. When Alexis is old enough to understand the suitation don't speak badly of her father (i am sure you know that)

Don't think you are bad mom... look at her.. she is so happy, looks like a very contented child, credit to you for single hand raised her.

Do you have a brother or close male friend/cousins who plays with/love Alexis... talk to them about involvement of her upbringing... a father figure can be good...
 
Babyblue said:
Go to the Child Support enforcement office. He will have to pay child support. It may make him consider a DNA and prove he is the father. If he is the father then he will have to pay for the Court Cost, DNA testing, and child support.

You do not have to have a lawyer, because the Child support enforcement will represent you.
Click to expand...


I was going to say the same thing ...good advice!
 
Whisperhorse, the others here on this thread are right on the spot. I have known so many people who were raised by single parents and turned out to be happy and content people. As long as you are there for your daughter and dont talk negative about her father, she should be fine.
 
Back
Top