Need Advise with Child that is HOH

C

chris' mom

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My youngest son is HOH and my other boys and myself are hearing. I find it very diffuclt to rise him. I'm so use to yelling dinner is ready or stop that instead of stopping what I'm doing and go to him. He's very strong willed and stubborn and refuses to do anything he doesn't want to do. How do I get a handle on him?

Any Ideas?
 
Whoa, slow down a second.
Let me get you started in a presentable format that will help every else of us analyze and provide a suggestion, properly.

How old is your youngest son? How much of a hearing impairment does he have? Mild/Moderate/Severe? Does he wear his HA often?

What is your son's typical schedule on a weekday M-F? Weekend?
How about his schooling, I take it that he is in a mainstream public school?

What other problems do you seem to have with him that you don't have with your other son?
 
naisho said:
Whoa, slow down a second.
Let me get you started in a presentable format that will help every else of us analyze and provide a suggestion, properly.

How old is your youngest son? How much of a hearing impairment does he have? Mild/Moderate/Severe? Does he wear his HA often?

What is your son's typical schedule on a weekday M-F? Weekend?
How about his schooling, I take it that he is in a mainstream public school?

What other problems do you seem to have with him that you don't have with your other son?
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My youngest son is 4 years old, his mild to moderate hearing loss and he wears his HA most of the day during the week but it's a challage to keep them in on the weekends.
On weekdays we get up at 6:30am to get ready for school. He is in School with hearing children, no deaf or HOH children till 3:30. Except on Therapy days when he has therapy from 2:30-4:00. We have dinner at 5, bath time at 7:30 and bedtime at 8:00. I'm not sure what midstream is exactly.

Problems examples: When it's time to pick up he refuses to do so, bed times are the worst. the other two go to bed just fine, Chris seems to think that's the play time and throwing toys at his other brothers. He doesn't do what he is told to do. I know all kids has these problems but his is extreme. I try to say and sign no don't do that, or pick up or time to eat or don't throw the dog down the stairs. but he just isn't getting it.
 
chris' mom said:
My youngest son is 4 years old, his mild to moderate hearing loss and he wears his HA most of the day during the week but it's a challage to keep them in on the weekends.
On weekdays we get up at 6:30am to get ready for school. He is in School with hearing children, no deaf or HOH children till 3:30. Except on Therapy days when he has therapy from 2:30-4:00. We have dinner at 5, bath time at 7:30 and bedtime at 8:00. I'm not sure what midstream is exactly.

Problems examples: When it's time to pick up he refuses to do so, bed times are the worst. the other two go to bed just fine, Chris seems to think that's the play time and throwing toys at his other brothers. He doesn't do what he is told to do. I know all kids has these problems but his is extreme. I try to say and sign no don't do that, or pick up or time to eat or don't throw the dog down the stairs. but he just isn't getting it.
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Are you giving him consequences for his bad behavior and following through on them?
 
He just needs to be disciplined for most of those problems. Don't be afraid to slap him.

Anyways, you're just going to have to adapt to some things and make sure he understands you. Not that I'm trying to stereotype anyone, but it sounds to me as if he could be taking "being hard of hearing" as not needing to follow spoken instructions. I have a moderate-severe loss, and I hear people yell "dinner" and when they say stop that. Not all losses are the same, but I believe he should be able to hear both of those with his hearing aids, unless of course they're malfunctioning.
 
I wouldn't necessarily recommend slapping him, but I do have some behavior mod techniques that can be easily implemented at home. If you are interested in trying any of these, please PM me and I will give you details. Or I can describe them here in this thread if you would prefer.
 
You can punish him and reward him for his actions.

If he does something wrong, punish him. If he does something right, reward him. :)
 
jillio said:
I wouldn't necessarily recommend slapping him, but I do have some behavior mod techniques that can be easily implemented at home. If you are interested in trying any of these, please PM me and I will give you details. Or I can describe them here in this thread if you would prefer.
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She cant PM you yet because of post counts. You will need to describe here.
 
Mockingbird said:
He just needs to be disciplined for most of those problems. Don't be afraid to slap him.

Anyways, you're just going to have to adapt to some things and make sure he understands you. Not that I'm trying to stereotype anyone, but it sounds to me as if he could be taking "being hard of hearing" as not needing to follow spoken instructions. I have a moderate-severe loss, and I hear people yell "dinner" and when they say stop that. Not all losses are the same, but I believe he should be able to hear both of those with his hearing aids, unless of course they're malfunctioning.
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Great advice, slap him.....brilliant. Why doesn't she tie his hands behind his back if he tries to learn ASL too.

Now for my actual, reasonable advice.
Sometimes HOH kids miss incidental listening, such as picking up on the clues that it is getting later, that there is "10 more minutes until playtime is over" or "You have until this show ends, then bedtime". So, I would make sure that you are giving him warnings. I would make sure he knows the plan for the day, "First we'll go to the bank, and then we can get ice cream" and it is absolutly critical that you face your son when you talk to him. Yes, it takes more time, and yes it is inconvient, but you son has a deficit. He can NOT hear like you and I do. Hearing aids do NOT make a person hearing, it doesn't work like glasses. You need to help him, and part of that is adapting the way your family interacts. Sorry.
 
As far as not wanting to wear his hearing aids on weekends,
I'd suggest ignoring him until he does wear them or if he asks for something, sign or visualize him that you'll do what he wants when he wears his aids.
My son, who is now 13, has this annoying habit of starting to talk to us or ask something without putting on his aids. If I don't notice, I'll start answering without him understanding anything so I have to say everything again when he wears his aids, so when he does that - we tell him (he's a great lip reader) - first wear your aids , then we'll talk, and he does.
 
When kids learn that they can control their hearing, they will take advantage of it.

When I was a kid, I would tease my mom that way.

If she asked me to do something, I would look at her... turn off my hearing aids... smile... then walk away. ;)
 
we get so pissed off when my son does that ! We tell him that its a sign of disrespect to us. Still, when he knows that he's about to get a "lecture" from us, he tends to "disconnect"...
 
chris' mom said:
My youngest son is HOH and my other boys and myself are hearing. I find it very diffuclt to rise him. I'm so use to yelling dinner is ready or stop that instead of stopping what I'm doing and go to him. He's very strong willed and stubborn and refuses to do anything he doesn't want to do. How do I get a handle on him?

Any Ideas?
Click to expand...

Check out Applied Behavior Analysis...aka ABA on the web for specific behavior management strageties. As for him being hard of hearing - his behavior should not be affected just because he has a hearing loss...he should be treated just the same as his other brothers. His expectations should be the same as well. The only difference woudl be to make sure communication is accessible to him. You can come up with a way to annouce dinner is ready - maybe flashing lights or something of that nature.

ABA works. I've been using it for eight years in my classes - and it works.
 
you know, I think your son has a problem that you two need to work things out.

I think he is starting to hate his hearing aids and such. Not wearing his hearing aids with some rebelling a sign that he is resenting his hearing loss, or least how people are treating him. Talk to him!

then again, I used to throw my hearing aids out the car windows. My mom figured I just didn't like the sound of it so she make me take it off before our car trip.
 
If she asked me to do something, I would look at her... turn off my hearing aids... smile... then walk away.
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HAHAHHAHAHAH....I was always notorious for turning off my hearing aids on people as a kid.
 
when i was about his age, I had aprox the same issues... or from what i can tell... I would suggest giving him options... and showing them to him (either through learning ASL or pictures) for example... you have two options, help clean up or sit in time out. Also, I would suggest creating a sticker chart, if he likes stickers, and for every 5 stickers (which means he was good) he gets to choose a toy from the store, or have a few minutes on the computer, something. Positive reinforcement actually works better, and helping the child realize they have options also helps them feel like they have control.
 
I am severely hoh (profound in high frequencies) I was raised in mainstream (public hearing) schools. I wore hearing aids and went to speech therapy classes, special needs classes etc. Your son is just venting out his frustrations from being teased at school, having difficulties of many kinds in the classroom due to his hearing loss and having to wear hearing aids which are more often uncomfortable and annoying. I agree, wearing hearing aids is not like wearing glasses. They may help some, but on the most part add problems rather than solve them. He comes home and it appears as if you haven't made many changes to adapt to him as yet. Coming from experience, my advice to you is this: Allow your son to be free of his hearing aids on the weekends and when he is at home, only when he goes out in public perhaps it would be good for him to wear them.
Take the time to talk to him, be sympathetic, ask him to help you understand his needs. And yes....treat him as if you do your other children, but with understanding of his different needs. And last but not least - pray for him. God's Grace is sufficient in all our weaknesses. (BTW, I'm 45 years old, I got my first hearing aids when I was 11, I finally discarded them altogether after only 2 years of wearing them. I have managed to survive in the hearing world on lipreading and reading alone, and oral (speaking) with much effort but not without the heartaches and discrimination. Now, I am learning ASL. Learn ASL together as soon as possible while your son is still young - it will be a lot easier on him and you in future believe me.)
 
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