I am just one big bundle of emotion after reading your post, shel! I've got teary eyes and a lump in my throat....both from happiness and sadness at the same time.
It is wonderful that you have finally had the opportunity to talk with your dad about this. I'm so happy for both of you that you have cleared the air. I'm sad that both of you lost so many years of understanding and closeness due to professionals pushing him against his instincts. I understand his reluctance at the time to go against the so-called "professionals", but he can take comfort in knowing that he is not the only parent who has found themselves in this position. It really makes me angry that they have so much influence over parents...to the point that their advise can end up destroying what was a happy and loving family. The upside is, it's never too late. Now that things are out in the open, and you and your dad have both had the opportunity to express your feelings, you can both heal your own scars and concentrate on making your relationship better. I'm sorry that you have had to wait so many years for the opportunity, but I am very happy that you do have that opportunity now.
As parents, we all make mistakes. None of us are infallible. Your dad did what he felt was the only thing he could do under the circumstances. Tell him that, as a parent, I would tell him not to waste time on the regrets for the past, but to use his energy to take advantage of every opportunity to make things different now. Today is all that matters, now that you both have had the chance to honestly communicate about the past. Time to put the past to rest, and concentrate on the wonderful future you two can have together now. It sounds like this has opened up the chance for your dad and your brother to start repairing their relationship, too. And that is a great thing. What a wonderful start for the new year for all three of you. My heart just goes out to all of you.
Give your husband a big hug from me and tell him that I think he is an amazing man! He is the one that opened the door for all of this healing to start, and that takes a loving and giving person. You've got a jewel in that one, girl!
I just wish I could be there to give all of you a great big hug, but this will have to do for now......
