Deaf_Jen
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- Apr 13, 2004
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A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!"
The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to."The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me."
So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That will be okay because what is mine is his and what is his is mine."
So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story:
Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
********************************************
A man is driving down a road. A woman is driving down the same road from the opposite direction. As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells "PIG!!"
The man immediately leans out his window and yells "BITCH!!"
They continue on their way and, as the man rounds the next curve, he is killed when he crashes into a huge pig in the middle of the road.
********************************************
This guy's wife asks, "Honey, if I died, would you remarry?"
"Well," says the guy, "We all need companionship, so I suppose someday I would."
"Hmm," says the wife. "Well, would she live in this house?"
"We've spent a lot of time and money getting this house just the way we want it," says the guy, "so I guess she would."
"Would she sleep in our bed?"
"Well, it seems a shame to waste a perfectly good bed," says the guy, "so I guess she would.
"Would she use my golf clubs?"
"Of course not," says the guy. "She's a lefty."
***********************************************
I stopped at a friend's shop the other day and found him stalking around with a flyswatter. When I asked if he was getting any flies, he answered: "Yeah... 3 males and 2 females."
Curious, I inquired as to how he could tell the difference.
He answered, "3 were on a beer can and 2 were on the phone."
**********************************************
On their wedding night, John took off his pants and tossed them to Mary saying, “Put these on.”
Mary said, “I can’t where the pants.”
John said, “As long as you remember that, we will have a great marriage.”
Mary thought a minute and took off her pants and tossed them to John saying,”Put these on.”
John responded, “I can’t get into your pants.”
Mary said, “And you won’t get into my pants until you learn to treat me as an equal!”
The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to."The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me."
So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That will be okay because what is mine is his and what is his is mine."
So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story:
Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
********************************************
A man is driving down a road. A woman is driving down the same road from the opposite direction. As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells "PIG!!"
The man immediately leans out his window and yells "BITCH!!"
They continue on their way and, as the man rounds the next curve, he is killed when he crashes into a huge pig in the middle of the road.
********************************************
This guy's wife asks, "Honey, if I died, would you remarry?"
"Well," says the guy, "We all need companionship, so I suppose someday I would."
"Hmm," says the wife. "Well, would she live in this house?"
"We've spent a lot of time and money getting this house just the way we want it," says the guy, "so I guess she would."
"Would she sleep in our bed?"
"Well, it seems a shame to waste a perfectly good bed," says the guy, "so I guess she would.
"Would she use my golf clubs?"
"Of course not," says the guy. "She's a lefty."
***********************************************
I stopped at a friend's shop the other day and found him stalking around with a flyswatter. When I asked if he was getting any flies, he answered: "Yeah... 3 males and 2 females."
Curious, I inquired as to how he could tell the difference.
He answered, "3 were on a beer can and 2 were on the phone."
**********************************************
On their wedding night, John took off his pants and tossed them to Mary saying, “Put these on.”
Mary said, “I can’t where the pants.”
John said, “As long as you remember that, we will have a great marriage.”
Mary thought a minute and took off her pants and tossed them to John saying,”Put these on.”
John responded, “I can’t get into your pants.”
Mary said, “And you won’t get into my pants until you learn to treat me as an equal!”