yeah alot of scary moments then grief and confusion... why why?? thats another story that my hubby doesnt undy what im going thru.. he told me i SHOULD move on... and live my own life without them .. but how can i ??? they are my flesh n blood? they r always in my mind and my heart... he just dont undy... sigh...
the group that i belong to.. called Beraved parents of USA chapter said people dont undy how the mothers n fathers who lost their child/children may be going thru periods of whys and etc.. some never fell out of grief phase maybe forever... depend on individuals.. i was like thats interesting... they also said that its ok to cry when u are sad... several told me to stop be obessive and move on already... they are wrong to say that to me.. its just that they dont understand what im going thru... so its kinda hard for them to grasp that. just like AIDS scare.. same concept you know?? thinking one person got AIDS mean its contiagous and everyone will get it.. but no they are wrong about that. same as grief losing the kids... im still sad about my kids.. but the pains had lessen over time.. but on their bdays its still so hard for me.... i will never forget them as long as i live...
