Kids and Bedtime - Who's the Boss?

[Malfoyish]

At one point or another, kids just love to push their parents as much as possible in order to get their way - or to delay going to bed.

Our three year old has been giving us a hard time when bedtime comes. Even right now, he's sitting on the living room chair, insisting that he'd like to sleep there or on the couch, and that there are spiders in his room. Or if it's not spiders, he'll say he's afraid of monsters. If not monsters, he's gotta pee, or needs a drink of water, or something to that extent.

He begins school in September and I'm anxious to instill a stable bedtime routine into him - but am not sure how to go about it. I've tried physically putting him into his bed and ordering him to stay there until morning, I've tried yelling, threatening some major groundage, his life, whatever works! LOL. Still, he comes out and plops himself onto the couch, and eventually, I'm better off leaving him there than I am trying to get him to go to his own bed. It becomes a matter of, "well, as long as he's quiet..."

Wondering how some of you have dealt with the bedtime bickering you have experienced as parents (or aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.) Let's share!

 

[VamPyroX]

I can't really remember if I had problems with bedtimes. I do remember having problems with naptimes. They would expect me to be taking naps during the afternoon during the weekends, but my brother and I would be talking or moving around a lot. Heh! Sometimes, I'd sneak out of the room to see what my parents were doing. I guess they wanted to be able to have sex without us walking in on them... *covers my eyes* Eek!

When I got older, I did give my parents a hard time with curfews... but I'll leave that alone since this is related to bedtime.

 

[DeafSCUBA98]

i'm dealing with this sitution right now.. my son just turned 2. he barely will go to bed.. every time i put him to bed. he just hop off and walk to living room and turn the t.v. on.. he's doing this since 2 weeks.. and it's still not been solved.. and yikes.. good thread malfoyish.. I need to know some helpful tips on having him to sleep on bed time (9 pm)

 

[Cheri]

LOL Malfoyish.. I know how u feel I have one of that at Home...He is 4 And when it comes to going to bed the same time with Markus cuz Markus has School everyday we all get up in the morning the same time Cuz, I would Sometimes gotta work at the warehouse doing Errands for my dad or load up truck and etc. he needs to have plenty of sleep and rest for a big day next Morning.. and Plus I would be taking him to Preschool this Fall too.


I tell Jordan its time for bed he would say "But Mom" or he would say " I will be good I promise If u let me stay up late" or he would say " I will go to bed when u go to bed" LOL...

 

[Gemtun]

Oh man ..you got a big fight ahead of you!

But seriously ..what I did with my girls was to go to bed like 1 hour before their actual bedtime so we can read a book together and discuss the day events. I know it sounds easier said than done but if you try to establish a consistent routine with a book and a quiet discussion about their day, it will calm them down a bit long before their bedtime. Also, I remember I had to rub my youngest daughter's back for at least 30 mintues before she would fall asleep.

it is 8 PM here now and I made my daughters read a book in their bed at 730 so that they will fall asleep at 830.

 

[Malfoyish]

Up until my son was almost two, I would literally hold him and rock him until he fell asleep. He was a colicky baby and would need or want the arms, which was tiring, but fine with me. He just got too used to it, I think! I would do that anytime for him, but heh...he'd probably have a real hard time at school if I did...LOL. So for a while we had to let him cry in his crib...he eventually got used to going to sleep on his own. Now the problem is - he can walk and he certianly has a mind of his own. He doesn't wanna go to bed, so he'll do or say whatever possible to avoid meeting Mr. Sandman.

Scuba, I hear ya...maybe if we put on the History Channel or something black and white and completely boring to look at, then they might WANT to go to bed? LOL. "Please, Mommy/Daddy! Let me go to SLEEP!!!! I don't wanna watch a poorly-made documentary about the World War!"

Hey, just think - in about ten years from now when it is time for them to get up for school or for whatever "boring" events the day holds for 'em, they'll be begging us to let 'em sleep. But for now, nope, they'll give us a hard time. GO figure!

Cheri, I hear ya. Do me a favor and let's not introduce your son to mine...LOL. I think we'd both be in some serious hot water if they got their heads together.

Meg, that sounds good - I might just do that - or I'll just turn everything off (TV, radio, anything that makes noise) and they'll have no choice but to settle down with a book and they'll fall asleep...

 

[Soonersseth]

Try tickleing their back untill they go to sleep. No I'm not kidding it worked on me.

 

[Angel]

I just thought about creating this yesterday but U beat me to this LOL, Good Thread Malfoyish! *Hugs* hmmmm...great minds think alike!

Oooohh, you're right when it comes to children, they'll sure think of many different kinds of excuses just to keep themselves from going to bed when it is their bedtime....I have a hard time especially with 4 years old son, he'll either want to continue playing video games or watch tv, sometimes he will pout and get mad for awhile and he does get worn out from doing this and fall asleep where-ever he is at, other times he will give me these gestures on his face that shows saddness or frownings which does look so cute....Also, it doesn't help when his older brothers don't listen and go to bed when told to do so....

Usually I will tell him if he don't go to bed I will take some of his privileges away for the next day, like a video game, can't go outside and play, no cartoons or etc...Most of the time this does work, also, Roadrunner helps out too, sometimes he will read a story to him....

I also have read about this solution a long time ago where a couple who would have a problem with their child going to bed, when the child wouldn't go to bed, they would simply say ' Good Night ' and turn off all the lights and waited and sure enough the child would cry and then fall alsleep...I sure couldn't see myself doing this to my children, even if it worked for this other couple....I sure hope you will find a way to get your son in bed peacefully and without problems....

 

[Banjo]

At one point or another, kids just love to push their parents as much as possible in order to get their way - or to delay going to bed.

Our three year old has been giving us a hard time when bedtime comes. Even right now, he's sitting on the living room chair, insisting that he'd like to sleep there or on the couch, and that there are spiders in his room. Or if it's not spiders, he'll say he's afraid of monsters. If not monsters, he's gotta pee, or needs a drink of water, or something to that extent.

He begins school in September and I'm anxious to instill a stable bedtime routine into him - but am not sure how to go about it. I've tried physically putting him into his bed and ordering him to stay there until morning, I've tried yelling, threatening some major groundage, his life, whatever works! LOL. Still, he comes out and plops himself onto the couch, and eventually, I'm better off leaving him there than I am trying to get him to go to his own bed. It becomes a matter of, "well, as long as he's quiet..."

Wondering how some of you have dealt with the bedtime bickering you have experienced as parents (or aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.) Let's share!

If he is watching the TV, unplug it.

 

[Malfoyish]

If he is watching the TV, unplug it.

Yep, we've tried that. He'd just find something else to do...even resort to bringing toys out of his bedroom and into the living room. Or he'll be just like his Papa and raid the refrigerator.

 

[pinkster]

Yep, we've tried that. He'd just find something else to do...even resort to bringing toys out of his bedroom and into the living room. Or he'll be just like his Papa and raid the refrigerator.

I remember some people would play with their kids quite a bit before bedtime, so that when they were done the kid was tired and sleepy. I know that when I babysat, I liked to play a lot and the kids are usually sleepy quickly. Thats why some schools have nap time! But I'm not a mom, nor do I have nieces/nephews. I have a little cousin but I havent seen her in like 4 years. When I had trouble sleeping, my dad would rub my back or my cheek, it seems to work. You can always pretend you're asleep, and not respond to the kid when he wants attention or looks at you as if he knows he's defying you

Good luck though

 

[GalaxyAngel]

Ahh, Nice Thread the topic "Bed time having hard time". ((chuckles))
Nice of remind me when My tiny kids and rebel goes to their bedtime. I was gave them rules..
Number 1, If you refused your bedtime, I give you losing 5 minutes apart from 9pm goes to 8:55pm for your early bedtime. (my kids really crazy and doesn't want 5 min losing time) Straight bed time.. It's works.. If refuse contiunes their bedtime.. take lose 5 minutes more from 8:55 to 8:50 countine until your kid will give it up..
Pretty barely works as well..
Hopefully you could works for your kid.
Or...
Lose your favorite privillage (what your kid favorite the most useful)You have to take their favorite privillage and have to wait until next day will return to you unless if you have to obey mom or dad says bedtime.. (Pretty Often I did works with my kids when turns bit little older enough)
*Sometimes I kept their favorite privillages average 2 or 3 days then return their favorite stuff...
My eldest son's favorite is.. Music/Ps2 "True Crime". (I used to take their favorite privillage) He really quite freak it out and gave it up and goes his bedtime at 930pm.
My daughter's favorite is.. TEDDY BEARS.. I take her favorite the most cuddle bear.. She freaking out of hell and upset easily.. Really gave it up and went bed (In my mind, Goody Goody).. I return it her.. Pretty works.. *chuckles* She must goes her bedtime at 9pm that is it.. no after!
My last son's favorite is hot wheel cars / Game Cube Hot Wheel cdrom (mostly constantly every nights taken away) He must goes his bedtime at 845 to 9pm that is it!

One day, you could try "lose the privillage or losing time 5 mins". Wishes have you great luck for your kid!

 

[Oceanbreeze]

At one point or another, kids just love to push their parents as much as possible in order to get their way - or to delay going to bed.

Our three year old has been giving us a hard time when bedtime comes. Even right now, he's sitting on the living room chair, insisting that he'd like to sleep there or on the couch, and that there are spiders in his room. Or if it's not spiders, he'll say he's afraid of monsters. If not monsters, he's gotta pee, or needs a drink of water, or something to that extent.

He begins school in September and I'm anxious to instill a stable bedtime routine into him - but am not sure how to go about it. I've tried physically putting him into his bed and ordering him to stay there until morning, I've tried yelling, threatening some major groundage, his life, whatever works! LOL. Still, he comes out and plops himself onto the couch, and eventually, I'm better off leaving him there than I am trying to get him to go to his own bed. It becomes a matter of, "well, as long as he's quiet..."

Wondering how some of you have dealt with the bedtime bickering you have experienced as parents (or aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.) Let's share!

Well, Malfy..As you WELL know, I'm not a mom, but I was a kid once! lol Also, my sister is having the same issue with my nephew. So, I might be able to offer some insight, maybe...

I hear you on needing to set a bedtime for him. He's gonna need to have a routine, but you've got a fight on your hands. Here's what I would do... About 15 mins or so before bed, have him go to the bathroom, get a drink of water, whatever. Let him give you and Coffeeeman a hug and kiss good night. Then, say ... "OK, time for bed..." And, make him GO...Once he's there, let him come out ONCE, but then physically take him back to bed. And, tell him it's bedtime, and he has to go to sleep. He'll fuss. He'll cry. It might even get ugly, but this is where you will just have to be the "meanie", and stand your ground. If he cries, so be it. You will just have to close his door, and let him deal. If he needs a night light, you can get him one, but he needs to know that when you say it's bedtime, you mean business!

This was what my parents did with my sister and I. We were always making up excuses to prolong going to sleep. And, if this doesn't work, you can always send Daddy in to deal with him! This is what my Mother would do when we wouldn't listen to her, and it worked. We KNEW we didn't want to deal with Daddy! lol

 

[Malfoyish]

Well, Malfy..As you WELL know, I'm not a mom, but I was a kid once! lol Also, my sister is having the same issue with my nephew. So, I might be able to offer some insight, maybe...

I hear you on needing to set a bedtime for him. He's gonna need to have a routine, but you've got a fight on your hands. Here's what I would do... About 15 mins or so before bed, have him go to the bathroom, get a drink of water, whatever. Let him give you and Coffeeeman a hug and kiss good night. Then, say ... "OK, time for bed..." And, make him GO...Once he's there, let him come out ONCE, but then physically take him back to bed. And, tell him it's bedtime, and he has to go to sleep. He'll fuss. He'll cry. It might even get ugly, but this is where you will just have to be the "meanie", and stand your ground. If he cries, so be it. You will just have to close his door, and let him deal. If he needs a night light, you can get him one, but he needs to know that when you say it's bedtime, you mean business!

This was what my parents did with my sister and I. We were always making up excuses to prolong going to sleep. And, if this doesn't work, you can always send Daddy in to deal with him! This is what my Mother would do when we wouldn't listen to her, and it worked. We KNEW we didn't want to deal with Daddy! lol

Heh!!! Very few kids want to deal with Daddy, but sometimes when Mommy's FED UP, there's so little she can actually DO to get the kid to listen...but hey, tiring him out during the daytime can't hurt. I do think that he'll be all right once school starts because then his days will be fuller, he'll have homework, he'll have teachers, you know...he'll certainly be more tired at night.

Thanks everyone for the advice/suggestions. Some of you have "seen" what an active kid he is, so it's definitely a challenge.

Hugs!

 

[Oceanbreeze]

Heh!!! Very few kids want to deal with Daddy, but sometimes when Mommy's FED UP, there's so little she can actually DO to get the kid to listen...but hey, tiring him out during the daytime can't hurt. I do think that he'll be all right once school starts because then his days will be fuller, he'll have homework, he'll have teachers, you know...he'll certainly be more tired at night.

Thanks everyone for the advice/suggestions. Some of you have "seen" what an active kid he is, so it's definitely a challenge.

Hugs!

You have a point on his day becoming more busy once he starts school. I wish you luck with him! We're still having the issue with Mathew. He has decided that there's "monters" in his bed, and he doesn't want to stay in his room at night. He sleeps with a night light now, though. I think it's just a stage he's going through, and hopefully, he'll grow out of. We can hope, right? I'm just glad it's not ME dealing with this! lol

 

[ChelEler]

Wow, poor parents you are. I did not have any problem with mine. I guess it's because I did not give them naptimes. I give them a lot of things to do around the house to keep them busy and worn out. I read them a book almost every night and they like it. My baby boy just stays up until I put him in his crib and turn off the light. He stays awake when I do that, then when I turn off the light, he stays quiet and somehow falls asleep. I do not have any problem so far.

 

[Cheri]

Wow, poor parents you are. I did not have any problem with mine. I guess it's because I did not give them naptimes. I give them a lot of things to do around the house to keep them busy and worn out. I read them a book almost every night and they like it. My baby boy just stays up until I put him in his crib and turn off the light. He stays awake when I do that, then when I turn off the light, he stays quiet and somehow falls asleep. I do not have any problem so far.

I did that Once not having Jordan take a nap maybe he would go to bed on his own but, he fell alsleep at 4 pm and woke up at midnite. I tried to wake him up before Dinner he would not get up he was Sleeping Deep. LOL, So never again did that.


So Far He takes Nap and He goes to bed at 9 pm with no Problem During Weekday Because I would go upstairs with him and read him The Book Of "Fish Sleep But Don't Shut their Eyes"( In Seconds he fell right to sleep.) *Give the Book a Kiss* (Thank You)

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Of course, the parents are the boss....

It helps when the TV had to turn off 1 hour before go to bed... We do is play or chat for 30 mins to 1 hour until they worn out.

Don´t give them any snacks within 2 hours before go to bed because it produce more energy & less tiring.

My children´s last evening snack was at 6pm.

The TV turn off at 7.30pm from Sunday to Thursday because of get up early for go school.
At weekends at 8.30pm from Friday to Saturday.

Let them have their time to wash & brush their teeth.
Sometimes they asked me to read for them.
Sometimes they want to read themselves..

Give them 30 minutes time to read themselves or I read for them until they sleeply.

Sometimes they don´t want to go bed because of good movies on TV... I recorded the video for them for next day...

 

[Ellie]

My niece is really bad about bedtime. her mom doesn't make hergo to bed so when she comes to my house it's hard to set any rules up with her. we usually fall asleep watching a movie around 2 in the morning. My son however has kind of gotten himself on a routine bedtime and i try not to mess with that. I put him in bed around 10 most nights, especially when i work, and let him fall asleep on his own. I'm going to try to put him to bed sooner sometime within the next 6 months, 'cause he'll be gettin golder and starting school next year a couple days a week and I don't want to fight with him then, so going to try to get things worked out before the "have to do it" tme comes and maybe he'll be ready. Kids always fight though, sooner or later.

 

[JeepGirl]

I've got an 8 year old daughter that had a little problem with bedtimes when she was younger. As for me, at the time I was single, I used to lay down with her and rub her back.. she'd fall asleep in a second. By the time she turned 5 going to kindergarten, she loved music and likes to sleep with music on so I made a deal with her, I told her I'd let her leave her music on if she stays in bed and go to sleep or if I find that she's up and playing in her room I'll unplug the stereo. It worked, for awhile. I didn't really have a hard time with her.. she was easy to handle. Now that she's 8, she'd make excuses so she can delay her bedtime by saying she need to find her cat, her dog, or need something or forgot something , etc.. I would stand there and ask her "what time is it?" she'll look and say 9:05 pm.. and I asked "what does that mean?" she said its bedtime and I said right, and what are you doing now? she just looked at me and said okay good night i love you.. and got in bed turned the light off..


My point in this.. is DO NOT LET THE KID/KIDS SEE YOUR WEAKNESSES, YOU HAVE TO BE IN CHARGE AND HAVE SOME DISCIPLINE AND KEEP IT THAT WAY! If you show your soft-hearted or feeling bad, the kids will continue to use it cuz they know your weakness. Got to stand up and be strict and don't change it. They'll get around eventually and learn that there's no other way around to escape the excuses.