Just.. venting

[gnarlydorkette]

I am little hesisitant to vent because I have got an impression that several ADers don't like me to post my thoughts and insights because they think I am vain and full of myself

so just be aware that this is my venting post... :-D

I do have a blogger but I just want some feedback because nobody knows how to use the feedback board on my blogger

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today... I went by SDSU to sit in a class meeting for my art 101. Everybody had their turn presenting their final project which was their self-portraits but no actual drawings of face and so on of ourselves. I sat longer than anybody. I refused to go first or middle but was willing to go at near of the end... so I went up like third to the last person... and I presented my self-portrait. And everybody went silent. You see, the purpose of the meeting is to CRITICZE the final project and see how it can be improved... and everybody got a heavy load from the class (the class supposed to last an hr but instead it went over two hours because it took forever for a person to explain their counter-arguments to the suggestions for improvements).... I was like, "hmph, my self-portrait must be so intense and dense for them to ever dare to argue wtih me" because my final project was kind of blunt to the issue of deafness and discriminations. I started out, "Most of you won't understand this because you have no exposure to deaf world or culture so I am trying to stay light for you to not get so bored with mine" so I may have given out an impression that they shouldn't mess with me because I have been through too much shit to hear their bullshit suggestions. :-X

My final project is... this 18x24 canvas wrapped in plastic wrap (rosed-color but painted with yellow so it ended up looking like an orange wrap)... but before I wrapped it, I painted it bright red everywhere except this 10x6 block in low corner. That block is framed with red/orange thick paper... inside of that block is three squares- which represent my life, chronicigally (sp). First square has a pink gingham plaid with a hearing device (Body Hearing Aid) painted on it... the next square has this frabics of red and yellow stripes (tomboy type of stripe shirt) with a hearing aid placed in the middle...and the last square is painted blue with a "signwrite" word for 'deaf' painted in white outline. The bright red background outside of that block have many inscriptions and quotes written... mostly negative like, "Deaf and DUMB", "MUTE", "ARE YOU RETARDED", "OH I AM SORRY YOU ARE DEAF", and several pictures of deaf people throughout my life such as Heather Whitestone (Miss America 1995, whom is deaf) and I. King Jordan (deaf president of a deaf college), and Chrissy Smith the deaf player on tv show Survivor... and three objects- a picture of cochlear implant, a street sign of "DEAF CHILD AREA" and a DPN pin button... all of those chaos were wrapped in orange-tinted plastic wrap. So everything is .... transparent but that block which is my childhood. Me in the hearing world but I don't connect with the hearing world directly so everything happened in the hearing world where they made a huge fuss about deaf roles were being ignored by me because for me, that is life. Deaf is everywhere... i know it. and I have two quotes on the left and right frame of the blocks that are like pillars for my princples and viewpoint about the deafness- "Deaf Can Do Antyhing except hear." and "being deaf doesn't make me stupid but it makes lots people around me stupid". So....

Don't you think that is too intense for hearing audience who have no exposure to deaf world beside having me in their classses?

Hmmph. Understand, that artwork was not my first choice to make a self-portrait. At first, i want to make a watercolor painting of a lotus in a pond surrounding by daisies- to show that I am unique among the originals... (i have a spiritual meaning and connection with the concept of a lotus flower).... but then I thought it was too "deep" and personal for me to feel comfortable to present. So i went with the most obvious personal trait- deafness. It is not personal for me, but then I realized, yes it is personal but I am open-minded about it because I am all about spreading the deaf awareness and so on. So i am hoping those kids don't think I am all that when there is actually a deeper side to me than that deaf issue.

Doesn't it bother you guys when you are talking about your deafness but somehow it got interperted that you are touchy about the deafness being discussed among hearing people?
I don't know.... It.... is just strange to see how the hearing people react to the deafness and... how.... their reactions are so neutral... and even POLITE. Maybe because we are too used to being so blunt to eachother and the hearing people don't have that trait and ... it appears to be standoffish to us, prehaps?

 

[ideafspy]

Interesting what you just said. You are not the person and I have been through even disagreeing with classroom between teacher and student. It’s not well done because they are look at themselves but not people capability.

Yes, I stood up myself to hearing people and share all my artwork about the deafness that I have drew on frame about the ‘outside’ in couple years ago. It’s boring subject that they choose the assignment to make that happen. So I draw that pictures of tree—you see that large tree is ugly but rest of them beautiful. Its just I feel that apply to me. When the hearing people show their works and they were talking about it. All the strange talk they were talking about how amazing the stupid “line”, shade and stuff. I show mine work and they were silence just like that. I was staring at student and asked; “Well?” all they asked me, “What kind of pencil you use?” I told them what I use and they just grab and write down the paper what I use and what I did. Even no one is discussing about it. It’s just because they are afraid to offensive my feel?? Who know?

 

[Levonian]

Hell, I don’t mind you venting—I thought it was a great post. It’s nice to get a breath of fresh air in here after slogging through 20 threads of the "how many showers do you take in a day" type. I wanna see your final—can you scan it and post it here?

 

[ideafspy]

yea.. can you do that?

 

[Liza]

Yeah, show your work here! Sometimes you hafta be the teacher, and have patience. You definitely planted something there.... you can always refer 'em to another deaf artist named Susan Dupor, who highlights the childhood's deaf experience very well and as a deaf woman, too.

 

[Levonian]

Yeah, that’s a good idea. E-mail me for a hi-res scan that you can print out at 8 X 10. Then take it to class and tell those dumbasses what it’s all about. Here’s some descriptions to help you get started:

Susan Dupor’s description:

This is expressive of feelings typical to isolated Deaf children living with non-Signing hearing families. The faces of the other members of the family are blurred, which likens the experience of lipreading to the experience of listening to a TV program disrupted by static. The deaf child, who wears hearing aids, is likened to a family pet that is patted on the head while being told "Good girl, good girl."

Harlan Lane’s description:

In 1993, a major exhibit of Deaf art was presented in Haverhill, Massachusetts, and comparable exhibits accompanied the third and forth Deaf Studies conferences. Viewers had the unusual opportunity to examine the works of a range of Deaf artists, who varied in their ages, their preferred media, their themes and their visions. There were lithographs, oils, watercolors, acrylics, pen-and-ink drawings, neon sculptures, and animated films. Aspects of the lives of people in the DEAF-WORLD were captured in many stages of the life cycle: the struggle of growing up Deaf with hearing parents; the suppression of signed language; the imposition of oralism; cochlear implant surgery. These themes were explored at both individual and cultural levels. For example, Susan Dupor’s Family Dog attracted particular attention: a somewhat imbecilic-looking child, the family pet, lounges on the living room carpet and stares out of the canvas at the viewer; behind her, a barrier (the legs of a coffee table) separates her from the legs of several adults, seated side by side on a couch. Their heads are spinning, their hands "silently" wedged into their armpits.

Lane, Harlan. A Journey into the DEAF-WORLD. San Diego: DawnSign Press 1996.

 

[Levonian]

Here’s another one of my favorites—Not My Choice by Elizabeth Morris. Sorry I don’t have a larger file. She sells them on the Internet though.

From Morris' web site:

Hearing parents upon discovering that their child is deaf immediately cling to the promise of technology in hopes that their child's deafness can be overcome. The wire sparkling on the side of the deaf child’s head emphasizes the ripping apart of the culture which we want to preserve. This deaf child's cry shows her sadness over her parent's inability to accept her as she is. A single road with a sign saying "Wrong Way" represents the isolation and confusion of identity. The quote "Not My Choice...Cochlear Implants" is a message to hearing parents who have the right to make decisions about their deaf child.

Morris was invited to exhibit at the Deaf Studies IV Conference, April 27-30, 1995 in Boston, Massachusetts. Harlan Lane, author of When The Mind Hears showed slides of her cochlear implant artwork at the Congress of the World Federation for Deaf in Vienna, Austria, July, 1995. The work was also shown at the Deaf Studies V Conference, March 1997, in Washington DC, and has been reproduced in books and newspapers.

 

[Fly Free]

GREAT vent Gnarlydorkette but hell ur post says it all abt how I would have done my art (if i knew HOW to do artwork LOL) and YES i agree with everybody else -- POST ur pix!!!! id LOVE to see it too!

 

[Y]

> Don't you think that is too intense for hearing audience
> who have no exposure to deaf world beside having me
> in their classses?

First of all, I agree with Levonian that's a good posting.

Most important of this entire issue: "Be yourself" is the key
no matter whether they have exposure or no exposure
at all. Don't worry about what they're thinking.
Just focus on what you're thinking, believing and/or
expressing through the communications world of Art.

Geez. I'd love to see your art posting here !
These Susan Dupor and Elizabeth Morris examples
are excellent.

GO FOR IT !!!

 

[Levonian]

Want some more examples? Here's Deaf Identity Crayons: Then and Now by Ann Silver. No description is available.

 

[Levonian]

Pathology by Susan Dupor.

"...There are moments when I vent my emotions and doubts. Others when I wanted to celebrate the uniqueness and pride of the Deaf culture and seek the ironies of being Deaf in a predominantly hearing world."

 

[Levonian]

Being Deaf & Free by Orkid Sassouni.

"Slowly, I started photographing more and more Deaf and hard of hearing individuals. But soon my idea changed to more of a fine art of sign language and their life within me. I became fascinated with their pride, their energy, their most important tools in communication, their thoughts, and their self-conscious of the world outside"

 

[gnarlydorkette]

the Painting all of you have been waiting for

Pardon for the photograph quality. it is hard to take a picture due to the shiny surface of my painting... and I cannot get a sharp picture if I turn off my flash (digital camera, ach)


also I have to resize it to pass the 75kb limitations for the attachments [grr]

[edited: dammit, the attachments with clear images and everything is too much for AllDeaf to handle so... sorry about the grainy images. It is the only thing I can pass under 75kb]

 

[Fly Free]

wow great work!!!!!!!!

 

[Levonian]

I like it. But couldn’t you take the cellophane off temporarily so we can see what’s underneath more clearly? If you did that, I think we could make out everything, even within the limitations of a 75 kb file.

 

[gnarlydorkette]

...... it is glued on. :-(

i can always create a transcript of phrases I wrote on the painting and you figure out where it is at... that is a deal?



[edited: adding the transcript below]
Big to Bigger and Thick words:
"deaf can't do anything"
"Deaf and Dumb"
"Miss America is Deaf" with a small "1995" under it
"They're disabled"
"Cochlear Implant"
"Deaf O- Surv-" supposed to be Deaf on Survivor but I wrote it off the painting so it looked like cut off

Medium bold:
"Chrissy Smith"
"Heather Whitestone"
"Goya"
"Beethoven"
"I. King Jordan"
"How can deaf function in the hearing world?"
"Deaf-mute"
"Hear- Imp-" *"hearing impaired" being cut off*
"Deafness"

Thinner writings:
"Why dont you learn to speak?"
"You're deaf? but you look like a normal kid!"
"What is wrong wiht your hearing?"
"Are you Retarded?"
''I am sorry that you are deaf"

Even more smaller writings on the frames- the "pillars" of my world:
"Being a deaf doesn't make me stupid, but i can make lots of people around me stupid"
"Deaf people can do anything except hear." -I. King Jordan

....
and the two pictures/logos at corners of my painting-
the botton corner has a diamond sign with "DEAF CHILD AREA" which is actually posted one block away from my home.. still there today.
and the top corner has a circle saying, "DEAF PRESIDENT NOW" one of those old pin buttons during that time.

four pictures of folks- Chrissy Smith, Heather Whitestone, I. King Jordan, and a back picture of a blonde girl with cochlear implant- unknown.

Does it help to depicit my grainy digital picture?

 

[Levonian]

Sounds good!