Judgmental....much?

rockin'robin

rockin'robin

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I think we all have...at times...are judgmental about an issue/person. The old saying..."don't judge me until you have walked a mile in my shoes" does ring true somewhat.
Sure, we deafies in a lot of cases, are judged as "disabled"....retarded...can't be independent...etc., etc.
Those who do drugs, judged as drug addicts...alcohol...as alcoholics...Public opinion. And the stigma of that opinion can last lifetime....People who have committed a crime and served their time, come back and still are "judged" for that crime. Drug addicts who have beat their addiction and are clean, alcoholics who have stopped drinking...are still "Judged". It's hard not to be judgmental....even "assuming".
What do you guys think?
 
So true. I had a problem with addiction. I got a spinal cord injury (I had damaged my back in the car accident by a drunk driver that I was in at age 6 and my step dad was killed in, which made me Deaf) but anyway I was in and out of a wheelchair with flair ups and low and behold I got into pills and down that road. I'm now hopefully in my last semester of getting my addiction counseling degree and I might get my MA in Mental Health Counseling from Gallaudet. I've had so much judgment from that even though I've worked hard to make amends and stay clean and give back instead. Some of the judgment was good and in my best interest from family and friends
, it help guided me to a better path. But they judged my actions, what hurts is when people start judging other people instead of what they do if that makes sense.

Judgment is human nature, but so is empathy (not sympathy people get those confused) I think if we all work together and promote empathy that will help offset the negative parts of judgment.
 
Funny you should post this after the day I had yesterday. I'm HIV+. I have been since I was 18. I'm 39 now. So I've been positive longer in my life than I've not been positive.

I work for a hospital. No one at my job knows I'm positive. Yesterday at work we had a patient who was HIV+ and literally 4 of my co-workers warned me about the fact that she was positive. And they all did it in this, pull me aside and tell me in hushed voices way. Even though they never outright said it, the message we clear. She's dirty. She's toxic. Be careful. Which in turn means I'm dirty. I'm toxic. Be careful.

And to top it off, the patient we coming to us with an IV already started. There was no reason for me too even know this information. I wasn't going to be doing anything that was going to cause me to interact with her bodily fluids. So there was no reason for them to even give me that warning.

This was so hurtful. I don't even know how to feel about myself today. Or how to feel about my co-workers. I definitely felt judged. I still feel judged today even though I'm home. I think when something is different about you that's invisible to others, people will get very brave about their ignorance and judgement. They'd never say this too me if they knew. So now I know exactly how they'd feel about me if they did.
 
Lysander said:
Funny you should post this after the day I had yesterday. I'm HIV+. I have been since I was 18. I'm 39 now. So I've been positive longer in my life than I've not been positive.

I work for a hospital. No one at my job knows I'm positive. Yesterday at work we had a patient who was HIV+ and literally 4 of my co-workers warned me about the fact that she was positive. And they all did it in this, pull me aside and tell me in hushed voices way. Even though they never outright said it, the message we clear. She's dirty. She's toxic. Be careful. Which in turn means I'm dirty. I'm toxic. Be careful.

And to top it off, the patient we coming to us with an IV already started. There was no reason for me too even know this information. I wasn't going to be doing anything that was going to cause me to interact with her bodily fluids. So there was no reason for them to even give me that warning.

This was so hurtful. I don't even know how to feel about myself today. Or how to feel about my co-workers. I definitely felt judged. I still feel judged today even though I'm home. I think when something is different about you that's invisible to others, people will get very brave about their ignorance and judgement. They'd never say this too me if they knew. So now I know exactly how they'd feel about me if they did.
Click to expand...
I've never met or known anyone who is HIV+...but I will assure you (being honest), it would scare me somewhat, because of my lack of knowledge of the disease..... (I do know a little)...With you working in a Hospital, your co-workers should know better. Most people assume it's from having unprotected Sex...but there are other ways to acquire HIV.
 
I have known many people who are hiv+ Or have aids. It's sad but something that person has everyday of their lives. So yea it might be scary for people that don't have it but worst for people that do have it.
Anyways, I have judged and I have been judged. I do believe humans are afraid of ehat they don't understand.
 
I have been judged a lot, and I think I must say with honesty that I've judged others too. I think most everyone is guilty of that.

Lysander, sorry to hear how it's been for you. Are you doing ok with your HIV+ meds or whatever you need to do? That's a big deal for someone, I think ?
 
Yes.. there are many forms of judgments... "you're deaf", "you have bad eyesight how are you going to do the experiments?! (that was my HS Chemistry teacher and my sight yes is terrible but not that bad good grief). "You haven't worked in five years!" (not for lack of trying to GET a job...). Have been through it, have seen friends judged for being LGBT etc.

Yes I've judged people too I'm sure- as someone noted it's human nature in a way whether people do so knowingly or unnknowingly. I try NOT to without some sort of background. The worst kind I don't like is when people judge you for something that you can't control- your gender, your race, sometimes religion.... and disabilities from birth.

Definitely hard not to be judgemental or 'assuming' but I try to analyze the situation and learn more about the person (or situation) before saying anything.
 
I have my share of that too about being judged, some people do not know how to mind their own business. It's hard to find a trust to a person you can open up to someone and not be judged.

I agree most everyone is guilty of judging others and it's human nature and sometime we have to use our battles to those who do not know when to stop judging or listen to you.
 
Definitely get judged, and I do it too. One of the things I learned from mom:lol: In my defense, I'm more judgmental of people who've been doing things the same way for a while. And it's not always for the worst.
 
Lysander said:
Funny you should post this after the day I had yesterday. I'm HIV+. I have been since I was 18. I'm 39 now. So I've been positive longer in my life than I've not been positive.

I work for a hospital. No one at my job knows I'm positive. Yesterday at work we had a patient who was HIV+ and literally 4 of my co-workers warned me about the fact that she was positive. And they all did it in this, pull me aside and tell me in hushed voices way. Even though they never outright said it, the message we clear. She's dirty. She's toxic. Be careful. Which in turn means I'm dirty. I'm toxic. Be careful.

And to top it off, the patient we coming to us with an IV already started. There was no reason for me too even know this information. I wasn't going to be doing anything that was going to cause me to interact with her bodily fluids. So there was no reason for them to even give me that warning.

This was so hurtful. I don't even know how to feel about myself today. Or how to feel about my co-workers. I definitely felt judged. I still feel judged today even though I'm home. I think when something is different about you that's invisible to others, people will get very brave about their ignorance and judgement. They'd never say this too me if they knew. So now I know exactly how they'd feel about me if they did.
Click to expand...

:hug:

I am sorry about your co workers.
People need to be educated about HIV. I have friends with it and am losing a couple soon to full-blown AIDS.
It really burns me when I meet that attitude. Sometimes I would announce that I have aids. The room would go deathly still until I make the jerks know it is hearing aids.
Just let them know what you told us.
Hang in there, my man.
 
Beowulf said:
:hug:

I am sorry about your co workers.
People need to be educated about HIV. I have friends with it and am losing a couple soon to full-blown AIDS.
It really burns me when I meet that attitude. Sometimes I would announce that I have aids. The room would go deathly still until I make the jerks know it is hearing aids.
Just let them know what you told us.
Hang in there, my man.
Click to expand...

I'm feeling better today. These kinds of situations happen so rarely that it becomes almost easy to forget that I'm positive. Even taking my meds has become so routine that I forget why I'm taking them. But that complacency comes with the price of being blindsided when people have these reactions.
 
Lysander said:
Funny you should post this after the day I had yesterday. I'm HIV+. I have been since I was 18. I'm 39 now. So I've been positive longer in my life than I've not been positive.

I work for a hospital. No one at my job knows I'm positive. Yesterday at work we had a patient who was HIV+ and literally 4 of my co-workers warned me about the fact that she was positive. And they all did it in this, pull me aside and tell me in hushed voices way. Even though they never outright said it, the message we clear. She's dirty. She's toxic. Be careful. Which in turn means I'm dirty. I'm toxic. Be careful.

And to top it off, the patient we coming to us with an IV already started. There was no reason for me too even know this information. I wasn't going to be doing anything that was going to cause me to interact with her bodily fluids. So there was no reason for them to even give me that warning.

This was so hurtful. I don't even know how to feel about myself today. Or how to feel about my co-workers. I definitely felt judged. I still feel judged today even though I'm home. I think when something is different about you that's invisible to others, people will get very brave about their ignorance and judgement. They'd never say this too me if they knew. So now I know exactly how they'd feel about me if they did.
Click to expand...

Could your experiences in the past be causing you to view this as something that wasn't actually there? Could it be honest concern to keep you from accidentally doing something that would lead to exposure?

I have read this thread through several times and the above questions keep occurring to me.
 
It is our nature to have opinions of others, but definitely not right if it is used to hurt someone. I am not surprised with the fallout that ensues. Being judged is pretty much expected to happen, nor will it go away either. Sorting out our feelings over what was said or done is really the hardest part about accepting it for as truth or not.
 
Jane B. said:
Could your experiences in the past be causing you to view this as something that wasn't actually there? Could it be honest concern to keep you from accidentally doing something that would lead to exposure?

I have read this thread through several times and the above questions keep occurring to me.
Click to expand...

It's certainly possible. But in healthcare we have something called universal precautions. They're guidelines for dealing with patients body fluids and they are to be used on every patient. We are to treat every patient as if they have some sort of communicable disease and handle their body fluids as such. The concerning point was that there was no likelihood that I was going to have to interact with any of her bodily fluids. And even if I was, I have guidelines for protecting myself against interacting with her blood. And if this was coming from a non-medical person, I would be right there with you. But this was coming from trained individuals who go through the same process of education that I went through. They know there's no blood interaction. They know there are guidelines.

While I see where you're coming from. They've never said anything like this with any other patient. We've had patients with Hep C and other communicable diseases in the past and nothing was said. So, why this patient?
 
Lysander said:
It's certainly possible. But in healthcare we have something called universal precautions. They're guidelines for dealing with patients body fluids and they are to be used on every patient. We are to treat every patient as if they have some sort of communicable disease and handle their body fluids as such. The concerning point was that there was no likelihood that I was going to have to interact with any of her bodily fluids. And even if I was, I have guidelines for protecting myself against interacting with her blood. And if this was coming from a non-medical person, I would be right there with you. But this was coming from trained individuals who go through the same process of education that I went through. They know there's no blood interaction. They know there are guidelines.

While I see where you're coming from. They've never said anything like this with any other patient. We've had patients with Hep C and other communicable diseases in the past and nothing was said. So, why this patient?
Click to expand...

Do something over and over and it can get tooooo familiar and get neglected.

They are human and the discovery of Aids is the most recent and all the news about it (true or false) came at a time when there was more mass media even if not to the extent there is now.
 
Some of the older people among us remember when the epidemic first started, and there were no medications for it. It was a death sentence, and the hysteria was understandable. Some of those attitudes remain, especially when there are people of that generation who do not know people who have it.

I had an illness quite a few years ago, and some people suspected that I had it. It was one of the fatigue syndromes that sometimes hit overworked and stressed people with CP. So the HA's and aids pun is painful for me.

All my prayers for you. You are a valued member of this board.
 
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