I've been cyberbullied! And I need help, too.

A

Autumn Tree

Guest
Hm, okay, there is this woman who used to be my online friend for nearly 4 years (she's hearing) We met through FanFiction.Net where she was writing stories just for fun based on some popular TV shows, and I was reading them and posting postive reviews for her. But our friendship was often rocky, since I made mistakes - my fault - and she was overly senstive and has a temper to boot. We have had many fights, most of them started by my friend.

Now, we have NEVER met face to face in person, so we really don't quite know what each of us look like. She knew I am deaf but doesn't understand Deaf culture. And since we were pretty close, we had shared many personal life stories about ourselves, and did creative stuff together (i.e, she drew pictures and I colored them, or wrote fun stories together). We had good times.

But, now, things were getting worse and worse, mainly because she don't like my other online friends and she often picked fights with me over them. Last October we had a big fight with my former friend running around telling everyone over the internet nasty things about me in order to ruin my online reputation. So I had to change my usernames, deleted my accounts from my favorite websites and created new email addresses to hide from her. But after things quietened down she came to me saying she is sorry and wanting someone to talk with. And I was foolish to think she has changed for the better, and so I continued my friendship with her. Yeah, I was too forgiving and too trusting. (However, I hid my other online friends from her because I knew she can't stand them). Things were fine for a month- but then, this month, my friend found out I was talking to other online friends, flew into rage and started running around badmouthing me to her own online friends and setting up her livejournal to criticize me, my husband, my friends....but especially me. That is all her journal ever about, every entry are filled with somewhat personal details about me. In the public for all to read, too! :ugh:

This time, I ended my friendship with her for good and avoid her completely from that time forth. I was upset and very, very disappointed. :(

So...now, my question is...do you know anyone who may be able to help me deal with her and get her to take down her livejournal? Someone who may be working in law firm and knows something about cyberbullying and cyberstalking, or something? :confused: I think there is a law against cyberbullying, but I'm not sure. Although my ex-friend doesn't reveal my full names (first and last names), my email address or home address, what she said about me and my husband & friends is cutting a little too close to home for comfort. :eek2:

Any suggestions or help?

And have anyone ever experienced the same kind of situation too, and how did you deal with it?

Thanks so much.
 
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Aww :(

I'm in the same boat as you are girl, ALL you can do is ignore her and let her be the one looking bad....I know it is very hard to bite your tongue and turn your cheek, but sometimes, there's just nothing much you can do, if others want to believe her, then that means you know who your friends are and who isn't....then you know which friends you can count on the most as being a true friend of yours forever....

I'm sorry if Im not much of a help with this, since I'm going thru the same situation as you are, few of them were telling me to make peace with her, I have no problem making peace or forgiving her, but the problem is I don't trust her at all, I've been throw in dirt so many times, been hurt too many times that I've lost count of, it is hard to forget the things she has done to me over the years, it will take a long time for me to earn her trust again and for that I'm not able to be her friend, I don't think I ever will....

All I can do is, ignore her and move on by forgiving her, enjoy the life I have now and be happy with what friends I have now, that stick with me when this had started...


I know the feelings of hearing things that going around about you, or seeing your name being brought up in several different places, I know how much it hurts, but don't let it destory your own self-esteem cause you can always make new friends, and forget the old ones....


It will get very hard at first, but people will get tired of hearing the same old thing that keep going on for so long, soon enough, this friend of yours will give up one day or the other, hang in there girl :hug:
 
Oh sorry to hear this. Evidently this person isn't your true friend and you do NOT deserve this person anyway. I hate to break the news. Since the Internet is really in the "Wild Wild Web" Meaning there is almost no laws over the net! I know it sounds ironic, but problem is that it crosses the states, and countries and this making the net almost impossible to "Police". The only chance you MIGHT have is if your state has some sort of harassment or anti-stalking laws and your so-called ex-friend happens to reside in same state, or better same county then you MIGHT have better chance, or that this A$$h0le committed crime within your area. But don't bet on it just yet. You could try contact district attorney and find out what can be done for you. District Attorney should give you insight or suggestion on where to look for. But again if this involves "Interstate" (this means anything from state to state) then District Attorney, nor anybody in your area don't have any jurdiscation (Power to enforce)!
 
Awww Hun. :hug:

I'm very sorry that it had to happen to someone like you, You're a sweetheart. You should know that you're not alone, many of us had experience this too. Included me too. If possible, block any more communications from this person, save all the evidences of what she said about you, I am not sure if it's against the law, Why don't you try to contract a lawyer or police and ask questions.

I never really did anything about the situation I was in, I just know that some people out on the internet can be so immature and childish. If you would like to contract this person she is a person who prevent cyber bullied on lines, Her email is parry@aftab.com or telephone 201-463-8663.

Wish you the best of luck, again I'm sorry that it had happen to you, I don't understand some people sometimes. :roll:
 
been there...

an suggestion...

email her nicely with a witness watching you, requesting that she remove all your personal information that you do not want to adversite throughout the net. (make sure u keep a copy of the email) If she refuse, then you can either sue her, or call the police and ask what you can do because then your ex bestfriend would be invading and annoucning your privaty without your permission.

I don't know if this will do, but its worth a try.
 
Thank you so much for all your kind words and suggestions :grouphug:

My former friend lives in Canada, so diehardbiker65 may be right...it would probably be hard to pull a "law" on her for cyberbullying me. Cheri, thanks for the email & telephone...I can give this person a call and see.

Again, thanks all.
 
You're so very welcome, I hope things will get better for you even it may not happen now but I know in time it will....Just hang in there cause you do have friends here in AD, and some of us do care....

:hug:
 
Actually, I agreed w/others their comment..

Hopefully you'll worked it out or accept your move on as new seeds..
 
Hi , I tried looking online for website resources ...

http://www.cyberbully.org/

http://www.channelone.com/news/2004/01/30/cyberbullies/

http://www.netbus.org/cyber-bully.html

Hope this helps????

Advice :

Do not share personal info and things like that. This is more of a problem with women because women usually share a whole alots more with another women. It is not as much of a problem with guys because guys are extremely private people so guys would more likely have problems with finanical situations online.
 
Too much drama. This is not a friend. Just ignore and she will go away. Your real friends won't believe her and will stick by you. Just let it go. Not worth the aggravation.
 
Heath, thanks for the helpful links.

Do not share personal info and things like that. This is more of a problem with women because women usually share a whole alots more with another women. It is not as much of a problem with guys because guys are extremely private people so guys would more likely have problems with finanical situations online.
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Well, my former friend and I had known each other for four years, and lot of time she was nice .... but then, she is unpredictable so I never knew if she is in good mood or not. @_@ If it is a total stranger I would certainly not share personal information with him or her!

And thanks everyone else for the advices, too.
 
Autumn Tree said:
Well, my former friend and I had known each other for four years, and lot of time she was nice .... but then, she is unpredictable so I never knew if she is in good mood or not. @_@ If it is a total stranger I would certainly not share personal information with him or her!

And thanks everyone else for the advices, too.
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Don't worry about it Hun, Nobody is perfect, Everyone makes mistake when they said too much. Look at me for example, I know I share my private life stories on here. If that is gotta haunt me, let it be. Just one day something bad will happen to them. let God's anger take care of it. After all, Scripture says,

"I alone have the right to take revenge. I will pay back, says the Lord." Romans chapter 12 ;)
 
well cyberbullying is not against the law except few things

1) if there any THREATS like "am going get you" or stalking you or hurt you phycially

2) if mention about hacking or you have proofs

then you can turn her in for those or put resist order on her if it necessary as if she stalking you or scare you for your life sake...

other than that like others say ignore her find other friends that is treating you better than her.
 
Cyberbullying is against the law.

Police say cyber-bullying is against the law.
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However, one must be viligient in getting their cyberbullies because it is hard to track down their cyberbullies.

There are some tips police say parents and children can use if cyber bullying becomes a problem.

Parents should monitor their children's use of the computer. You should also educate yourself about the dangers that exist on the Internet. Also, report all threats or harassment to the police.
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link
 
Does not matter if it is against law or not. It is almost IMPOSSIBLE to enforce because of jurdiscation issues! We can NOT proscute anyone doing cyberbulling if they were orignate from outside of the jurdiscation, like from different states, or countries. Reason I said ALMOST impossible is because the only possible to proscute is if you can prove that the crime is within the jurdiscation, like within the city, county or state. One of them must have the law written on book. There is almost zero federal law on books over the internet! The fed do not want to run into problems with jurdiscation issues and rather let states or locality take care of themselves.

Cookie Monster said:
Cyberbullying is against the law.



However, one must be viligient in getting their cyberbullies because it is hard to track down their cyberbullies.



link
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Almost! Your close to being right. The only case that cyberbulling is that if locality have the law on their book and the crimes orignates and ends in SAME locality. Does not matter what the distance are. For example, if one did cyberbulling in Kansas City, MO and it was against law, and that the orignate is in Kansas City, MO then the District Attorney can proscute, BUT if this person in Kansas City, Kansas decided to start cyberbulling somebody in Kansas City, MO then NO ONE can proscute this badass person (Even if it is against the law in Kansas City, MO)!

The only time that proscutor can act is IF the threats have taken place physically in SAME location (Some cases county or state), same way with stalking.

Shiva said:
well cyberbullying is not against the law except few things

1) if there any THREATS like "am going get you" or stalking you or hurt you phycially

2) if mention about hacking or you have proofs

then you can turn her in for those or put resist order on her if it necessary as if she stalking you or scare you for your life sake...

other than that like others say ignore her find other friends that is treating you better than her.
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report to Livejournal Abuse Team

FAQ Question #105
How do I contact the Abuse Team?
If you're having problems with another user, or believe that someone is violating the Terms of Service, you can make a report to the LiveJournal Abuse Team. Before you do, though, you should read through the rest of the Frequently Asked Questions in this section of the FAQ. These FAQs explain the technical solutions that will help you to resolve a situation on your own without needing assistance from the Abuse Team.

http://www.livejournal.com/support/faqbrowse.bml?faqid=105
 
EyesBlueDeaf said:
report to Livejournal Abuse Team

FAQ Question #105
How do I contact the Abuse Team?
If you're having problems with another user, or believe that someone is violating the Terms of Service, you can make a report to the LiveJournal Abuse Team. Before you do, though, you should read through the rest of the Frequently Asked Questions in this section of the FAQ. These FAQs explain the technical solutions that will help you to resolve a situation on your own without needing assistance from the Abuse Team.

http://www.livejournal.com/support/faqbrowse.bml?faqid=105
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I did report to the Livejournal staff about this, but they said they need proof that my former friend is revealing both first and last names, email addresses and home addresses to kick her off and delete her journal. Since my former only reveal the first names and nicknames/usernames, but no email addresses, they said there is nothing they can do about it. : P



Don't worry about it Hun, Nobody is perfect, Everyone makes mistake when they said too much. Look at me for example, I know I share my private life stories on here. If that is gotta haunt me, let it be. Just one day something bad will happen to them. let God's anger take care of it. After all, Scripture says,

"I alone have the right to take revenge. I will pay back, says the Lord." Romans chapter 12
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I agree with you, Cheri. What I can do, is to move on and leave it up to the Lord to take care of her.
:hug:
 
diehardbiker65 said:
Does not matter if it is against law or not. It is almost IMPOSSIBLE to enforce because of jurdiscation issues! We can NOT proscute anyone doing cyberbulling if they were orignate from outside of the jurdiscation, like from different states, or countries. Reason I said ALMOST impossible is because the only possible to proscute is if you can prove that the crime is within the jurdiscation, like within the city, county or state. One of them must have the law written on book. There is almost zero federal law on books over the internet! The fed do not want to run into problems with jurdiscation issues and rather let states or locality take care of themselves.
Click to expand...

As I mentioned in my post...

However, one must be viligient in getting their cyberbullies because it is hard to track down their cyberbullies.
Click to expand...

The law will help you but you've got to do your homework yourself before you go to the law. If you checked the link out, it does say this as well.

Police say cyber-bullying is against the law. But it's easy for police to arrest those responsible.
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Police can easily arrest the person placing a report about cyberbullying because police can think you've baited, provoked and stalked that person to the point where the other person had to defend him/herself. It is always a catch-22 situation. One must be careful about this especially with the evidence, it can backfire in the person that wishes to report it.
 
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