I can understand that Pete.
My point here is cutting off contact with them unless the situation is more in your favour or more neutral. In this way, the cycle of abuse is being interrupted and control is being put back in your hands and they know their behaviour is not being accepted.
Now that's gotta make them feel uncomfortable. It's quite a decision for anyone to make, especially against family. Sometimes it's just what you have to do.....
My son came to live with us a while. Some of you may know my son has a mental condition, but I ended up having to kick him out because of the negative impact he was having on the rest of the family. The stress was really bad. No one came out a winner, it was a lose/lose situation, but we had to do something. It worked out OK in the end, though, so I can live with that.
Getting back to topic, I see nothing wrong with anyone helping, it's your decision whether to use the help or not as you may feel appropriate.
Isn't research using someone else's nformation the same thing?
