Pete: 
. I should have said about professional writers and others proofreading - great thought. And I agree with you and Dixie about the pole!
Shel: My brother always has been trouble, always angry. Why? I don't know. Worse, he always has been mean and works to make life hard for others. If my HAs were off, he would change volume to highest or lowest. He waited until my parents left and hold down me or my sister and pinch, slap, or poke. He would say something mean - very clearly, facing me - and when I got mad and we argued he would tell my mom "she misunderstood me - I didn't say that" and roll his eyes like "dummy". I always had better grades than he did (but his grades were good) and he would say teachers "pity" me or that my school is "easy" (I went to a different school - it was private, with expectations that all students to graduate and go to college - not easy)
I don't understand. He is smart, the best athlete, and handsome. He doesn't have many friends, but who wants a mean friend? He is alone in my family for being so negative. My parents are great, and he had attention, love, and understanding when he was a kid.
He is mean to my sisters and brothers also. But I think he is worse to me - my sisters think this too. A horrible thought but I think he is worse because of my hearing loss and because I did well in school despite being HoH/deaf. When I was a kid I would think "why? why?". Now I think he wanted me to fail, to be the dummy so he could feel superior. Sad. Maybe I am wrong. He could be worse to me because I am the youngest. I don't know.
When I am not angry at him I feel bad for him. But he stops my sympathy with his meanness. And I am a fool again and again - I still want to love my brother and him to love me. I need to stop thinking this. I will not invite him anywhere again.
My parents will talk with him today and tell him to get therapy. They know more about his problems than I do and said they think he is in trouble. When I was younger and they realized all his anger, they told him to go to therapy or behave. My dad now says they should have forced him to go and not giving him a choice.
everyone for your perspectives. I was starting thinking that he was right a little. Not now.
