I'm writting a paper for my Deaf culture class and I need your help...

[alozer13]

I was very taken by this question...

If you were to lose your hearing today what would you miss the most?

And every hearing person I've asked has said music.

And I feel that Deaf people would say well what about easy communication with people you love.

But I want a better perspective than my own on what a Deaf person might think, considering I'm not Deaf myself.

Thank you sooooo much.

-Crystal

 

[Grummer]

'missing out on music' is a misconception of reality which deaf people faces, id say we miss out of everything, like we are treated as second or third class citizens in the exactly the same was as people with severe impairments - the so called people with disability, actually should be more accurately described as disabled people.
when you think about it, society disabled such a member or group that doesnt conform to normalcy.
what i love most? art and and animals.
art is music for the eyes, as does poetry is stirring of the soul.
depending on what art is appreciated as well as what attitude are adopted when observing/enjoy the art, that is the interpretation.
I wouldnt say that music be the most sorely missed aspect to a sudden late deafened adult, this is ridiculous, i mean like the ignorant, inexperienced hearies can not assumes that everyone will remain to be your freinds, in the aftermath of sudden all-out hearing loss. I was once told by a man who suddenly loss mobilty and remained at the vinicity of the electric wheelchair, he told me; "after the accident you discover who your best freinds really are'. So back to sudden deafness, the most precious thing you'd be missing is contact with people, it will drive you mad. and even more painful that to join the deaf community when, whereas the deaf cultural politics are rampant, they will oust you, until you prove you worth to be a member, lke membership to deaf clubs are not given, it is earned. As much as i have said this, I loathe this reality too, i think its bent-over mad and oppressive, but this is the attitude of the day at present.

i think i said enough here and now, im sure others will add or, or disagree with my views, and or even go back to say why music is the most they would miss.... but i doubt the latter.

cheers

 

[Schermy]

I am hearing buy my hubby is deaf.............what he really would love to hear and can't......Our childrens laughter.

 

[Buffalo]

How can one miss what one never had? I was born deaf and I can live without music. I can live without hearing aids IF everybody know sign language. Is that what you are asking??

 

[lovezebras]

i also think hearies just say that as a first response, cuz when it came down to it im sure they would miss much more than just music, like communicating with your family, or hearing the small but important things in life, unless you are a musician or music enthusiast, etc

 

[Bebonang]

Welcome to AllDeaf forum!!!! First thing is that you don't know anything about being deaf and what is like to be deaf like absolutely no sound or noise at all. I was born deaf and I do hear music with my hearing aid but it is all noises. The hearing aid is just a crutch for us to hear sound and also hearies think that we can understand and hear better with hearing aid. That is not true and that goes for Cochlear Implant too as it is not that easy to hear better or perfect than the hearing aid. My husband or any other hearing people want to turn up the noises(music) every time I am in the car or when they want to play the music in the house. I just tell them to turn down the sounds as I don't understand the notes and the words in the songs and music. As for communication, I would rather do ASL than trying to lipread what the person is saying. There are some Hard of hearing and deaf people who can lipread better than we are but I doubt that. Lipreading is not that easy and we can make mistakes what the other person say. That is why we want to use visual ASL so that it is easy to communicate with each other. If the hearies want to talk to us, just use the basic ASL or write down on pad or paper to communicate with us deafies. Learn to accept us being deaf and please, don't try to change us or fix us. We will always be deaf for the rest of our lives and you can not do anything about that. Just accept us the way we are as a Deaf/deaf hoh people. We are proud of being Deaf and ASL is rock as we love to communicate that way.

 

[Secretblend]

I was very taken by this question...

If you were to lose your hearing today what would you miss the most?

And every hearing person I've asked has said music.

And I feel that Deaf people would say well what about easy communication with people you love.

But I want a better perspective than my own on what a Deaf person might think, considering I'm not Deaf myself.

Thank you sooooo much.

-Crystal

I think if a person that has been hearing all their life were to lose their hearing. What they will miss most is being able to socialize easily with their family and friends. That is very much taken for granted by anyone.

 

[farmerjoe]

I can provide a unique perspective because I had normal hearing untill I was in high school. I had absolutely no hearing on one side by the time I was 18, and now at the ripe old age of 28, I'm at the threshold of being "deaf" (rather than being hard of hearing).

Do I miss music? no,

What do I miss?
Being able to use the phone. Hearing people pick up a phone and they dial and they have a conversation. Heck you could even do that all day. If I'm having a "good ear day" I can still get by using the phone "regularly". but even in an ideal situation my speech comprehension is only about 75%.

Going to the movies. If I want to see a movie in a theater I have to drive a 40+ minutes, even though there's a movie theater less than 5 minutes away. Before I moved to my current location, It was a 3 hour drive. I'm lucky I don't live some place like North Dakota. Who wants to spend a long weekend driving to see a 90 minute movie? Not only do I have to drive a long distance, but my movie choices are greatly limited. Instead of 20 different movies, I have a choice of 3 for the whole week, next week it's a different set of 3.

Bonus features on DVDs. Apparently the movie industry thinks deaf people don't ever care about director's commentary, or behind the scenes video.

Being accepted, even my own family tells me that signing at the dinner table is rude (the last time that happened was thanksgiving '06). I guess having a nice conversation but leaving me to just sit and eat isolated isn't rude at all. I avoid spending holidays with my extended family.

Getting food from the drive thru. This one is near the bottom of my list, it is possible, but a pain in the ass.

There are other things but those are the ones that I can think of at the moment.

 

[Secretblend]

I wonder what is their reason is for saying that signing at table being rude? That is terrible thing to say. If i may point out, that is what I meant by socializing. I think most people would miss being able to visit anytime, anywhere.

 

[Chase]

My sister has been deaf nearly 71 years. She has always said she would like to hear the voices of her children and grandchildren, but as Buffalo commented, you can't miss what you never knew in the first place.

I've been totally deaf almost 7 years and progressively hard of hearing for 20 years before. Strangely, I don't miss music as much as I thought I would. It's completely gone. Invisible. Watching someone play an instrument or sing isn't much fun after a moment or two, so I don't waste time watching.

The small things I miss are going to plays and movies. I'm so very glad closed captions on BIG screen TV and Redenbacher's Movie Theater Butter popcorn have almost made up for those experiences.

A bigger thing I miss is the telephone. Its lack puts us deafies outside the normal communications loop. In my opinion, TTY was and is a big joke played on deafies by the audists; it's still as cumbersome and ineffective as sending smoke signals. I used state relay many years. It was a little better, though lots of hearies were too nervous (or too impatient) to use it (and lots of operators, God bless 'em, can't spell worth sour apples). I know I'm behind on technology like Video Phones, but for now I'm getting back into the loop with text phones.

Like many have said, I miss hearing those I like and love. I miss the subtle nuances of their tone and timbre.

I hate the impatience I see when some hearies realize I'm deaf. I can see in their eyes how I plummet from the position of having the gift of hearing--even though some know I'm a lettered scholar--down to the position of the dumb, daft, disabled, dysfunctional deafie.

 

[farmerjoe]

I wonder what is their reason is for saying that signing at table being rude? That is terrible thing to say. If i may point out, that is what I meant by socializing. I think most people would miss being able to visit anytime, anywhere.

The reason? beats me. It breaks their paradigm of normal? No one in my family can sign. I can sign and my (hearing) girlfriend, who I live with, can sign.

Here's an example of the problem: my younger brother got married a couple of years ago. At the rehearsal dinner, we were all seated at long crowded table and every one was talking at once, the way hearing people normally do. There was no way I could ever have had a conversation with anyone with all the overlapping voices and the inability to read their lips. So, I began signing with my girlfriend who was sitting directly across the table from me. This was the first time she had met a lot of my extended family, so our conversation was mostly about them. i.e. "that's my uncle so-and-so and his wife, and he does -blank- for a livng.. etc."
After the dinner my dad took me aside and scolded me. He told me it was really rude, and that people think we're "talking about them".

Don't get me started on the comments my family has made about closed captions.. it'll get me pissed off and ruin my whole day.

 

[farmerjoe]

The small things I miss are going to plays and movies. I'm so very glad closed captions on BIG screen TV and Redenbacher's Movie Theater Butter popcorn have almost made up for those experiences.
....
Like many have said, I miss hearing those I like and love. I miss the subtle nuances of their tone and timbre.
...
I hate the impatience I see when some hearies realize I'm deaf. I can see in their eyes how I plummet from the position of having the gift of hearing--even though some know I'm a lettered scholar--down to the position of the dumb, daft, disabled, dysfunctional deafie.

You reminded me... oh I miss live theater!! I'm not even 30 yet and I'll never again be able to enjoy going to a live stage performance. I forget because in my world it doesn't exist, it can't exist, I'll just disappoint myself if I allow it to exist in my mind.

I also forgot about hearing the subtle points of speech. I've never been good with that sort of thing, but now that it's completely gone it's terrible. I can usually get the words, but rarely pick up on the "tone" behind the word.

You articulate your last point very well. I wanted to say something to that affect, but didn't know how to bring it to words. So, instead I'm going to say "me too!".

 

[Buffalo]

My sister has been deaf nearly 71 years. She has always said she would like to hear the voices of her children and grandchildren, but as Buffalo commented, you can't miss what you never knew in the first place.

I've been totally deaf almost 7 years and progressively hard of hearing for 20 years before. Strangely, I don't miss music as much as I thought I would. It's completely gone. Invisible. Watching someone play an instrument or sing isn't much fun after a moment or two, so I don't waste time watching.

The small things I miss are going to plays and movies. I'm so very glad closed captions on BIG screen TV and Redenbacher's Movie Theater Butter popcorn have almost made up for those experiences.

A bigger thing I miss is the telephone. Its lack puts us deafies outside the normal communications loop. In my opinion, TTY was and is a big joke played on deafies by the audists; it's still as cumbersome and ineffective as sending smoke signals. I used state relay many years. It was a little better, though lots of hearies were too nervous (or too impatient) to use it (and lots of operators, God bless 'em, can't spell worth sour apples). I know I'm behind on technology like Video Phones, but for now I'm getting back into the loop with text phones.

Like many have said, I miss hearing those I like and love. I miss the subtle nuances of their tone and timbre.

I hate the impatience I see when some hearies realize I'm deaf. I can see in their eyes how I plummet from the position of having the gift of hearing--even though some know I'm a lettered scholar--down to the position of the dumb, daft, disabled, dysfunctional deafie.

You got the picture of what it is like to be deaf. If the hearing people have their way by doing away with deaf genes, people like you (seniors who lost hearing) are going to be even more lonely. No close-captioned on TV or movies. Maybe no relay. We really need to have deaf people around to make sure that the future deaf people have what they need.

 

[signer16]

You reminded me... oh I miss live theater!! I'm not even 30 yet and I'll never again be able to enjoy going to a live stage performance. I forget because in my world it doesn't exist, it can't exist, I'll just disappoint myself if I allow it to exist in my mind.
".

Luckily now, more and more there are performances not only with sign language interpreters, but performances in ASL! BIG RIVER was a nationally touring performance...Los Angeles has tons of performances done by DeafWest such as Sleeping Beauty Wakes...you will be able to see stage performances again, just in ASL.

 

[Angel]

The reason? beats me. It breaks their paradigm of normal? No one in my family can sign. I can sign and my (hearing) girlfriend, who I live with, can sign.

Here's an example of the problem: my younger brother got married a couple of years ago. At the rehearsal dinner, we were all seated at long crowded table and every one was talking at once, the way hearing people normally do. There was no way I could ever have had a conversation with anyone with all the overlapping voices and the inability to read their lips. So, I began signing with my girlfriend who was sitting directly across the table from me. This was the first time she had met a lot of my extended family, so our conversation was mostly about them. i.e. "that's my uncle so-and-so and his wife, and he does -blank- for a livng.. etc."
After the dinner my dad took me aside and scolded me. He told me it was really rude, and that people think we're "talking about them".

Don't get me started on the comments my family has made about closed captions.. it'll get me pissed off and ruin my whole day.

Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. I'm so very curious to hear about the comments your family made regarding to closed caption but then again I don't want to ruin your day .

 

[shel90]

Farmer joe...I had the same experience with signing at the table. My best friend who is deaf and I grew up orally so whenever we had dinner with her family, we always used lipreading and our speech skills. However, we both started learning ASL after high school probably due to the fact that we are tired of being left out, misunderstanding people and having hearing people treat us on the bottom of the social ladder. We both become fluent in it and after 10 years, I finally joined her with her family at dinner for old times' sake. She has a deaf brother who can sign too and it was his first time he has seen me since I became fluent in it so I was excited to be able to have a conversation with him using ASL instead of spoken language. So, we are at the table and everyone is talking. Naturally, my friend, her brother and I are left out so we started signing to each other and catching up. Well, her mom got upset and she started covering her mouth while chatting with the hearing family members. I looked at my friend and signed "What the hell?" She was like "Ssshhhh shhh." She knows how I can get if someone does something disrespectful to me so I kept quiet. She approached her mom after dinner and asked her what was up. Her mom told us that it was rude for us to sign without using voice and I said it was rude for them to use their voice without signing and everyone started arguing. I just COULD NOT keep quiet about my feelings. My friend got upset with me for speaking up but I wasnt going to let her criticize us when they were just doing the same thing too! I left and never went to her parents' house again. I told her until her mom shows more respect for our deaf needs, then I will show more respect for her hearing needs. Cant have it all her way!

My family doesnt mind if my brohter, husband, or our deaf friends sign cuz they know that we are always left out when the family is having multiple conversations at once.

Anyways...I was born deaf and dont know what it is like to hear perfectly and I guess I dont really care.

 

[Buffalo]

She approached her mom after dinner and asked her what was up. Her mom told us that it was rude for us to sign without using voice and I said it was rude for them to use their voice without signing and everyone started arguing. I just COULD NOT keep quiet about my feelings. My friend got upset with me for speaking up but I wasnt going to let her criticize us when they were just doing the same thing too! I left and never went to her parents' house again. I told her until her mom shows more respect for our deaf needs, then I will show more respect for her hearing needs. Cant have it all her way!

I agree with you that they were very rude for leaving you out of the conversations. Also they are being rude for expecting us to learn to speak while they refuse to learn ASL. After all, respect is two ways street.

 

[snazzychica2812]

well, in the last year i've lost a bit of my hearing but a good deal of my comprehension [i'm 1st percentile disorded with a central auditory processing disorder] and i have to agree a little bit with all the hearies you've asked.

it's not so much music i miss, but lyrics. i hear the music but i have no idea what the words are.

as a student who is planning to graduate with recognition in music, it is increasingly hard for me to follow music and i find myself working very hard to separate parts in the pieces.

i am a singer [tenor\alto] and i twirl with our colorguard. i used to play the saxaphone and snare drum, i can play a little tiny bit of trumpet, and starting in january i will be learning to play the trombone. these, in addition to just listening to music, are my passions, which makes them things that i would dearly miss if i was suddenly completely deafened.

even now, with the minimal hearing loss and the major comprehension loss, i have a hard time keeping on the harmony or hearing the melody in chorus class or hearing the beat under the music while twirling for guard. i can safely say that a small piece of me died when i realized that i completely missed my friend's flute solo due to it being so highpitched and over so many instruments. [i did hear it the second time, though, when i REALLY concentrated on blocking out the brass. =D]

however, i don't let my hearing\disability keep me away from music. even someone who was struck completely deaf at random shouldn't let it keep them down--look at beethoven! he was deaf and he's widely known as one of the best composers of his time.

so though many the hearies have the first impression of losing music being the worst thing about sudden total deafness, i'm going to have to disagree. music cannot ever be completely lost. you may think it's gone, but you just can't stop the beat.

total communication can also be had when you're deaf, as many of you know. however, losing total communication with everyone else, not just other members of the Deaf community or those few patient hearies who are willing to go the extra mile. . .that cannot be made up for.


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