Wow. Do you realize how similar our situations are? I also started going deaf at 19 and am currently severely hard of hearing at 23. I also don't really know why this is happening. It's really hard to cope, I know...I wish I had more advice for you. I will say this...you will find a way. I have good days now where I feel better because I know that I am still a person, still lovable, and still valuable even though I am going deaf. There are the bad days too, where I cry because I can't hear my baby and I feel bad because I know it's hard for my husband to repeat himself all the time. I know we will survive this and grow to be strong. Deafness is not the end of life, but the beginning of a new one that will be different, yes, but can be just as wonderful as the old. I get really moody about this. Like I said, I still have very bad days when I feel utterly worthless...but then, there are so many technologies to help communicate...and I'm learning ASL and teaching it to my baby.
As for the people making comments. They must really, really unhappy with themselves to be so mean. They have no idea what you are going through, and they aren't worth your tears. I know it won't make the pain less to know that now, but maybe someday you will realize it's true. I wish I could stop how much this is hurting you. I wish I could tell you that I never feel sad for my life the way it was, but I can't do that. I can tell you that life is a changing force and that this change is difficult, but it doesn't have to be bad. Find some friends, if you can, that will accept who you are. I will say that I hope this doesn't stop you from enjoying people because I have let it affect my social life, and I wish I hadn't. I really have trouble going out...but it doesn't have to be that way. I really hope I helped a little in some way or other. Please, please email me if you want to talk more.
