I need to vent....

[MilitaryGirl83]

Well...I got the news...I remember my mom telling me that when I turned 16... I would have to buy my own car and she told my brother the same thing when he turns 16 (he's 14 years old right now)...I FOUND OUT that my mom and her fiancee is planning on buying his daughter Heather a car now that she turned 16 years old yesterday. Heather doesn't have a job but she have good grades in school and involves in sports and other events. I stil don't think it's fair though because my mom says one thing to me and my brother then turns around on ourback and do shit. My mom was a alcoholic since 1995 when she met her fiancee Ron then she stopped after I moved out in July 2002 then I heard she started drinking again.. go figures :rolls: she even have a 9 months old baby with Ron. Matthew who is 9 months old is my half brother by the way. My brother and I always regularly sees my dad and he's a good father. For some reasons.. my parents r still legally married but seprated since 1995.. I don't still know why my mom still refuses to divorce my dad.

:fu2: at my mom and Ron for treating me like shit while i was living at home.

 

[knightwolf68]

Ouch !! I am sorry to hear about that .... here is hugs as comfort ya

 

[MsGiglz]

(((Huggs))) .. hey.. just wonder... are you the oldest kids in the family? (i figured).. well I am oldest kid along with sister, and bro..

sound like you just like me.. I had to buy car when i was 15 (law changed back then).. but i was upset that my parents bought my sister a car and my brother too.. but he wrecked the car afterward he buy himself..

anyway, I noticed that oldest kid in the family are doing the hardest way.. than sis/bros.. :/

 

[Deaf258]

Hearing family members?

 

[Liza]

Hearing family members?

thats what i thought, too!

in any case.. *hugs* i'm sorry, really...

do u have a part time job? you can get a car by yourself with co signing from your dad, and this way you have your independence. you will be able to buy your own gas, and no more begging.. like obviously the other daughter will have to be more dependent on the adults. trust me, they all will envy you.. you'll feel a lot more free and good!! this is the bright side to look at, if you choose so.

 

[Liza]

not to mention that your mom can't use the car against you in any argument IF you buy your own car.. my dad has done that with my sis, because he bought it for her!!

 

[MilitaryGirl83]

Yes I am the only one who is deaf in the family.

I had a job while I was in high school and was trying to save up some money for a car... my dad holds my money in his savings account and he never steals the money.. he would ask me first like he always did and paid me back because I don't trust my mom... she steals my money or snoop in my room for my money or anything else. :rolls:

I am the oldest in the family. My brother David is 24. My half brother Matthew is only 9 months old. Ron have 3 daughters by his ex wife... Heather turned 16 yesterday, Danielle is 14 and Nikki will be 11 years old on December 17.

The reason why I don't have a license yet because my mom and Ron was too busy with other things and ignore me so they didnt have the time to teach me how to drive. They was too busy drinking also. My dad taught me how to drive on weekends but it wasn't enough because my dad was always traveling based on his welding job with CBI, INC. And yes unfortunely.. when my mom met Ron.. things changed for the worse.. my brother and I got beated up alot plus wasnt allowed to go out much. We always asks why and my mom would tell me "Because I said so!!!!!" My dad tried to tell her to let us go out as long as we tell her where we was at but it doesnt work. My mom is a lying bitch and pathelic. She never comes to visit me when I moved in with Jeremy so we always have to go up to Illinois to visit her a lot. My dad and my other family always visits me a lot.

I am married now and 11 weeks pregnant with my husband Jeremy so I plan on stay at home mom and go to college to get an degree in early childhood education.

 

[Fly Free]

i uddy ur frustrations Wildkatress -- with ur own car u pay with ur own money ur mom cant use it against u like Liza said (and shes right) -- u are now settled into a new life for urself with ur hubby and a child coming in 9 mos -- even tho u dont feel blessed right now with the family difficulties things will be better in time even with the relations u have with ur mom being not very good perhaps at some point in the near future ur relationship with ur mom might improve some

doesnt ur hubby drive qq if he does -- he can teach u driving and help u with practices before u go take ur written/road tests for getting ur license -- im sure he would do that for u

 

[Liza]

Sarah,

Now I think of it, I read Dear Abby once... a kid wrote to her, she or he is in your same situation... dad treats her crappy because of drinking and all. Abby suggested for the kid to contact an organization who helps kids of alcoholic parents. You may be interested in contacting this organization called Al-Anon that focuses on young people whose parents or peer drink beyond what is normal... I hope you find the healing, with or without your mom. No one is worth the emotional distress IMO. Pls let us know how you are doing!

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

•Al-Anon's Purpose
To help families and friends of alcoholics recover from the effects of living with the problem drinking of a relative or friend. Similarly, Alateen is our recovery program for young people. Alateen groups are sponsored by Al-Anon members.

Our program of recovery is adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous and is based upon the Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, and Twelve Concepts of Service.

The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend.

Al-Anon/Alateen is not affiliated with any other organization or outside entity.

 

[knightwolf68]

i just told sarah via her e mail ... that I have notice that last children will always being spoiled than any older kids no matter what ... that how they treat the last child ...

 

[MsGiglz]

Sarah.. I didnt realized that you arent teenager yet.. now you are older..
Well, you have your own life.. you do what you want.. It's never too late to get your driving license..

Like what I did.. I do on my own, taking care of myself.. and my kids, now I have fiance.. we worked together.. the family will look up and might try to butt in or ruin.. because they are jealous.. that they dont have life like you do.. if they want help.. just provide some things like Lasza's post.. AA.. etc.. try to draw line.. be firm.. but still.. show love..

all families have different lives.. different lifestyles.. no one is perfect.. if their lifestyles are in danger or bad influence.. leave them.. they will come to you and ask why you dont come around.. just say.. I dont fit in your lifestyle.. I have family and my man.. we have life to live on a better life..

I know its hard.. Huggs

 

[MsGiglz]

i just told sarah via her e mail ... that I have notice that last children will always being spoiled than any older kids no matter what ... that how they treat the last child ...

yes and no... being deaf in hearing family.. treat different than hearing bro/sis.. for example.. my mom treated me shit.. my bro/sis.. get good things.. i dont.. she said because.. they spend so much $$ on my deafness.. so treat the same of spend $$ with bro/sis.. I dont believe it.. i cant help it to be deaf..

=)

 

[Fly Free]

yes and no... being deaf in hearing family.. treat different than hearing bro/sis.. for example.. my mom treated me shit.. my bro/sis.. get good things.. i dont.. she said because.. they spend so much $$ on my deafness.. so treat the same of spend $$ with bro/sis.. I dont believe it.. i cant help it to be deaf..

=)

this i haveta say is true as that has also happened to me growing up and my older sister is hearie

MsGiglz -- u arent alone abt this issue

 

[Oddball]

You are not only alone. I know several Deaf friends who are struggling to survive themselves by working and working. It is not easy for them. One of them has no parents support, lives on own with assistance of SSI/SSDI, and goes back to college to get a degree. My friend will get a degree next year and good things will come to my friend eventually. My friend has waited for years and years... it is not easy for my friend (I won't reveal him or her name).

Hang in there, Sarah..think positive and you will get something you want later on. Important...focus on yourself, baby, your finance, and your education.

 

[Oddball]

i just told sarah via her e mail ... that I have notice that last children will always being spoiled than any older kids no matter what ... that how they treat the last child ...

Not all of them are spoiled. Look at me.. My parents spoil me because I am baby in the family, BUT it does not mean that I can get a brand new car or house anytime soon. I will pay my college debts once I get a job next year without my parents' assistance because I don't want to burden them with money issues.