I need to rage

zookeeper4321

zookeeper4321

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I found out today that my 18 year old is dating a 29 year old divorcee with a 9 year old kid. He says their just FWB, but I know how attached he gets to people. I'm afraid he'll end up with her or he'll get hurt and I'll be left picking up the pieces. He lives on his own so there's nothing I can do other that advise him. Thanks for letting me vent. :dunno:
 
I hear ya but remmy this he will learn the hard way and will come to you and saying Hey ma, You're right. So just hang in there and give him all the love and understand for his sake.
 
Pomeranian said:
I hear ya but remmy this he will learn the hard way and will come to you and saying Hey ma, You're right. So just hang in there and give him all the love and understand for his sake.
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Thanks, I know you're right. It's so hard to let go. My mom still tried to rule my life until I was 25 and I had a baby at 18. I won't do that to him, but I still worry.
 
If nothing else, I sure hope he's practicing safe sex. This woman may be a lot more willing to become a parent again than he is.
 
MorriganTait said:
If nothing else, I sure hope he's practicing safe sex. This woman may be a lot more willing to become a parent again than he is.
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That's what I told him. I told him they'll lie about birth control- wrap it up. I know he knows about safe sex because he was a pre-teen when I went thru my divorce and he updated me on things. He was quite worried about me.
 
Each to their own.

But seriousily I don't think that it's fair to involve a child (FWB).
Involving a child is serious business. If he is not serious about her, he should cut his losses for the kid's sake.

It's difficult when someone comes into your child's life that could be a protential parent (child gets close) then they leave (it's very traumatic).

They are both being very selfish as far as the relationship goes (sorry, I feel so bad for the child). Children do not need to be apart of that, they need to be in a secure environment and being in that kind of relationship is showing unstablitity and conditional love.

I don't care if she is wanting and willing, he should be the bigger man persay
and leave (I would seriousily hate to ask what that child is feeling).
 
Heart2Sign said:
But seriousily I don't think that it's fair to involve a child (FWB).
Involving a child is serious business. If he is not serious about her, he should cut his losses for the kid's sake.
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I agree. She is the same age as my step-son and I know how it would affect him. I can't get thru to him anymore. He used to always come to me for advice and he would listen. Even after he turned 18, but lately he's just out there. I got in a fight with him Friday because he yelled at me. I was trying to help him with his car and he got mad at me. I told him to appoligize or leave. I won't have him disrespect me that way. Mr. Zookeeper called him and chewed him out for yelling at me and he hung up on him. Bad move, he will not tollerate disrespect at all. He won't have anything to do with him now. He talked to me on the phone today. He asked if my hub still didn't want him over. I said yes, but it's not his decision. Your my son and I want to see you.
 
If that was my son, I would lock him up until he's 30....
 
^Angel^ said:
If that was my son, I would lock him up until he's 30....
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Tell me about it. I can't do anything but advise him. He's 18 and lives on his own. I screwed up a couple of years ago when I moved. I had custody of him from 11 to 16. I moved closer to where I was working at the time and he went to live with his dad. As soon as he turned 18 he moved out on his own.
 
Sorry to hear about your situation with son. Since he is at the age of 18, I would let him to learn the hard way through this world. Some things will hit him when he experiences his own mistakes... from that, he will learn from it and will mature from it at a time since he is still a young man. I have my own son who is at the age of 21. Know that feelin'. :)

Be there for your son in despite of what circumstances/situations are. He has only one mom and one dad. He will thank you later down the road. Give him a plenty of love and try to be the best as you can when listen. We used to be 18 years old before and remember what mistakes we made. It's life we are learnin' everyday and our children learn on their own everyday, too. That's normal. ;)
 
Zookeeper I just wanted to mention to you
that this is NOT a bad reflection on you whatsoever!
He is old enough to make his decisions, sometimes we
have to go through a few things to realize just how much
pain that we could have avoided another. When we look
back on things, we understand (yea maybe I was a jerk).
Hence the term "growing pains", we will always go through them.
Hang in there, he will gain some maturity from all of this.

I know if my girls did that, I would be pretty upset with them.
Like some of the people mentioned, you have to let him go and make
their own mistakes. Even if that means you don't like what they are doing
at that time.
 
:dunno: Im a female. When I was 18 and still in High School, I dated a 28 year old man, which isnt' a problem for me or my family. When a person is at least 18 or over it's their life and it's what they chose. It all depends on who the woman is, maybe she is nice as she can be.... Give her a chance and maybe you will end up liking her. Even tho she has a 9 year old child, I bet your son love him as if it was his own.. :dunno: Since I can't have kids and had a boyfriend who has kids, I would love them as I loved my boyfriend or hubby.
My ex-boyfriend didn't treat me like a kid to be honest. If he did the realtionship would've been over a long time ago. :mad: But he did treat me like a adult and full of respect. :) I don't look at ages like that, I look at the person for who he is... Maybe you could look outside of the picture instead of worrying about the age different and the child. Since I'm still living with my parents, they still worry about who I date or go with friends etc.... But out of repect I have them meet my parents so they would know who Im with and let me know if they like them or not... of course I've been up and down in reationships when they like them or not. They still set the rules in the household, and I don't mind at all, it's out of respect. and honestly im a respectful type of person. I know since your son is living on his own he'll learn the hard way either if this person is good or not. I had a friend who is 33 years old and she dated a 21 year old who is at my age. who someone I should be dating. She loves him to death but at the same time 33 is wayyy too old for him, if it was in the late twentys then I can see the difference. I've talked to my best friend who is dating this 21 year old and point blank told her dead up "your too old for this young boy" I wasnt' being very nice at all to tell you that much. :pissed: she has 5 kids..... and he isn't mature enough to be a father- figure... But if your boy is mature enough then it's great and shows that he's a adult. then be proud for who he is and what he is wanting out of life.

BUT-- he'll learn the hard way evenutally as time goes on. AGAIN maybe thats the type of girls he wants...

Maybe you could sit down and talk to him parent/son and ask him if this is what he wants... make is a good talk.... not :pissed:


I hope the best for you......
God bless you :angel:
 
zookeeper4321 said:
Thank the Gods that woman went back to her old bf. I just hope she stays there.
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Maybe you can put up barbwire around his apartment? :whistle:
 
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